It used to be hard to stay away. And on days like today, it still was.

I loved the beach. I loved the way the water crawled up shore and smoothed the sand before it pulled out again. I loved the way the sea shells grabbed the sun's rays just right; how they seemed to shine. And I loved the way the crisp sea air settled salty-sweet on my tongue and filled my lungs. It was liberating; nothing like the confines of the jungle.

But it wasn't safe.

So I stayed just inside the tree line like I was supposed to and kept walking.

The earth was cool on my bare feet as I weaved my way through the trees. Low shrubs brushed against my legs, but thankfully they held no thorns. The smell of salt water mingled with dank earth in the warm summer air, and it makes me smile as the humidity stuck to my skin. Summer was always my favorite time of year. Bird calls could be heard in the thick canopies above, but when I craned my neck up to see them, they were nowhere to be found.

Sunlight cut down through the canopy, casting spotlights on the forest floor. I walked through them without a second thought, the bits of sunlight just as welcome as the pools of shade in between.

A girl could breathe out here.

But I wasn't out and about to breathe. I needed to find him.

He had left his morning without even so much as a goodbye, and despite how relaxed I felt in the moment, I couldn't shake the feeling that I had done something wrong. And I wanted to make it right.

So when the boys had returned with a wild boar and instructed that someone go find him so they could eat, my hand had shot up first.

"Go on then!" one of them had barked, and I had scurried away before anyone could change their mind.

I couldn't wait for someone else to find him. It would drive me mad.

But as the minutes began to drag on, I wondered if I was going to be able to find him at all. He had hiding spots everywhere, and I would be fooling myself if I thought I knew them all. And if he didn't want to be found, well…

I heaved a sigh and closed my eyes, my feet coming to a stop as I leaned against a tree to try and calm my nerves.

I will find him, I thought to myself. And when I do, everything will be fine.

So I kept going, determined to find him before it got too late. The sun was still high in the sky and wouldn't fall for a few hours yet, but if I wasn't careful, darkness would be upon me before I knew it, and I didn't want to be out in the forest when it was dark. Not alone, and definitely not so far from camp.

The farther I walked without any sign of him though, the more discouraged I became, and I wondered if I would have to make the walk back to camp without him and face the boys alone. The thought made me cringe as my stomach dropped. The boys could be pleasant when they wanted to be, especially the younger ones, but the older boys were a different story entirely. The only time they were ever polite was when he was with me. And even that wasn't enough sometimes.

Just as the anxiety of returning to camp alone threatened to overtake me, I heard it.

His voice.

My heart thundered in my chest as I picked up my pace. He wasn't far off, and with each step that I took, it brought him closer. The louder his voice became, the faster my feet moved, flying over soft earth as I followed the curve of the trees and the water, until his voice no longer drifted on the breeze and he was right in front of me.

I skidded to a stop at the tree line, unable to go any further. He stood on the sand of the beach, just out of reach. And he wasn't alone.

But it certainly didn't stop me from wanting to run to him anyway.

They didn't turn to look at me, their conversation never missing a beat as they stared out at the vast ocean, but my heart was pounding so hard in my ears that I couldn't hear them. I didn't see what they were motioning to, their movements tense. All I saw was him. Tall and lean. Strong and terrifying. Warm and gentle when no one else was looking, but cold and sarcastic whenever they were.

I shouldn't interrupt. I shouldn't barge in on their business, but I hadn't seen him since last night, hadn't touched him.

"Peter." His name slid off my tongue, and when he turned to face me, I felt my heart flutter.

"Well hello there, Sweetheart," he greeted me with a grin, his shoulders relaxing as he seemed to take me in. His emerald eyes shone bright, and I knew that he was in one of his better moods. There was no malice, no anger. All was well for now. "I didn't even hear you sneak up on us," he said with a chuckle, and I blushed.

The boy he had been standing with looked at me for a moment before looking away, his face unreadable. He leaned against a long walking stick, his other hand resting on a belt of knives. His dark hair, which normally hung over his eyes, was pulled away from his face with a piece of tattered ribbon. His name was Benj, and he was one of Peter's favorites.

"Come here, Sweetheart," Peter said, his smile growing wide as he held out a hand for me. "I've missed you." He looked at me expectantly and while my feet itched to go to him, my chest tightened. I wasn't allowed to leave the tree line. I wasn't allowed to step foot on the beach. I had failed this same test once before, and Peter had been furious with me for days. I didn't want to disappoint him again.

Benj's eyes darted to mine for a moment, and I wondered if he knew if this was a test or not. If he did, he certainly didn't show it, and he looked away again before he gave the answer away with his eyes.

As my heart began to race, I took a shaky breath and shook my head, my hands grasping desperately at the edges of my worn shirt.

Peter's eyes flashed dangerously as I ducked my head, and I wondered if I had failed his test by doing exactly what he had taught me to do the first time around. It wasn't uncommon for Peter to change the rules without telling anybody.

"Come here, Sweetheart," Peter said again, this time with a bite in his tone.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I can't," I protested as panic gripped my throat. "I'm not supposed to leave the tree line. I'm not supposed to go onto the beach. That's what you said!"

Understanding instantly dawned on Peter's face, and I watched as the anger vanished from his eyes. He chuckled as he dropped his hand and smiled at me. "Of course," he said as if he had genuinely forgotten. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart." He climbed up the slant of the beach and came to a stop in front of me, leaning against the tree with a lopsided grin that made my heart skip a beat. My breath hitched when he reached up and brushed my cheek, his emerald eyes boring into my hazel ones. "Such a good little Lost Girl, aren't you?" he whispered, and I felt myself melt at his praise.

I nodded, a breathy, "Yes, Peter." escaping my lips as I took a step closer to him. His eyes sparkled as I did so, his gaze turning hungry as he peered down at me.

His fingers traced my jaw and over the curve of my neck before sliding down my arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake as I tried to ease my racing heart. Tentatively, I reached up with sweaty palms and traced the muscles of his stomach through his shirt. It felt so good to touch him. The relief was enough to make me want to cry.

Benj's voice broke through my clouded mind. "Peter. They've changed course again."

And in that instant, Peter's entire being seemed to shift dangerously. His muscles tensed and he clenched his jaw so tight that I heard his teeth grind together. A dark shadow passed over his eyes and his hair, turning him into the demon that still haunted my dreams.

Before Benj's interruption, Peter's hand had come to rest on my hip, but now his fingers dug painfully into my skin. There was no doubt in my mind that there would be bruises.

Peter craned his neck to look over his shoulder. Benj shifted uncomfortably, turning his gaze out to the ocean to avoid setting off Peter.

I pushed myself up onto my toes and looked over Peter's shoulder, trying to get a glimpse of what Benj was talking about. I squinted, the high summer sun reflecting painfully off the ocean waves and the sand, but out on the horizon, almost too small to see, was a ship.

My chest tightened painfully, and my fingers curled painfully into Peter's shirt. I knew that ship. It was the only ship with a crew brave enough to come so close to the island.

Peter always said they were foolish, not brave.

"Peter," I said, my voice shaking, "why—"

"Quiet," he hissed, pushing me farther behind the tree line. My mouth snapped shut at Peter's instruction and I quickly retreated backwards back into the trees. Peter followed shortly behind me, all while instructing Benj to follow.

"What do you think they're doing?" Benj asked, sounding almost bored, as if a lingering ship wasn't a threat.

"Scanning the shores probably" Peter stated, the edge in his voice gone now that we were out of sight. Then Peter turned to me. "Probably trying to get a peak at my treasure."

My heart still hammered hard in my chest, but at Peter's words, a heavy fear settled in my bones. That's why Peter had pushed me back into the trees. He didn't want him to catch a glimpse of me.

I didn't think that I would ever see that ship again, and now it was just off the horizon, lurking.

There was a time when I used to think that I would be happy the day that ship showed up off the shores of Neverland, but now, I was terrified.

"He'll come for you," she had said to me all those months ago.

"Why would he?" I had spit at her with tears streaming down my face. "He's the one who let me go in the first place!"

"He'll come for you," she repeated, soft yet confident.

"How do you know?" I had asked.

"Because he came for me."

But he had been too late then. And he was too late now.

"What do you think, Sweetheart?"

Peter's words brought me out of my thoughts, and I startled. Ignoring the strange looks I got from Peter and Benj, I wiped my sweaty palms on my trousers, ignoring the fact that my hands were shaking.

Peter took a step closer and weaved his fingers with mine before pulling me close. "I said—" he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, "—I think I should take a few of the boys and go rough up Hook and his crew a bit. Just a warning really, for getting too close to the island. What do you think?"

No! The word jumped up my throat so fast that I had to bite my tongue to keep it from flying out. I'm not sure why my stomach still dropped when Peter threatened to go after Hook and his men. They were nothing but trouble for us.

But I still remembered that day all those months ago; the last time I had stepped foot on the Jolly Roger.

Peter had given his word that day that he would leave Hook and his crew alone if Hook handed me over to him. He had promised that no more harm would come to Hook or his crew.

And Hook had made his choice.

I still remembered how I felt in that moment, and sometimes, when I least expected it, it returned in full force and threatened to drown me.

But Peter had saved me. I hadn't seen it then, but I did now. Hook never loved me, but he let me believe he did, and when he broke my heart that night, Peter had immediately started picking up the pieces.

Just like he said he would. Peter always kept his word.

And if he broke his word now, he'd be no better than Hook.

I squeezed his hands tightly as I worked up the courage to look him in the eyes. Although he was in one of his better moods, Peter was volatile. His mood could change as quickly as the ocean's tide, and he was just as dangerous.

He grinned down at me, malice dancing in his eyes at the thought of going after Hook and his men, and I had to swallow the fear that rose in my throat.

Slowly, I shook my head. "Leave them be," I said, trying not to make it sound like a plea. Then, I pressed myself against him and weaved my arms around his waist. "They're no threat to you. Stay here. With me," I added, trying to appeal to Peter's possessive side.

For a quick moment, I wasn't sure my words were going to work on Peter, but as the malice began to be replaced by a mischievous sparkle that I knew well enough, I began to relax.

Peter relaxed too, his features softening considerably as he gazed down at me with bright eyes. When we stood like this, it was almost like nothing else existed. It almost felt like we were the only two on the entire island, and the world's that lay just beyond the horizon really didn't exist at all.

When Peter cupped my face in his warm, calloused hands, my entire body tingled. The space between us felt charged like the air does right before storm.

And then he was kissing me. Hard. His lips were bruising but in the best way.

When he pulled away from me, I was breathing heavily, my lips swollen and my cheeks stained pink. But Peter was the picture of calm and collected, the hungry gleam in his eye the only indication that he felt as wild as I did.

"Very well, my little Lost Girl," Peter said as his thumbs traced lightly against my cheeks. "I'll leave the one-handed pirate and his crew alone. For now," he said with a sinister grin.

For now. That was good enough for me, at least for the moment. Hopefully, if Hook kept his distance and sailed the Jolly Roger out of sight, Peter would forget the whole thing.

"Now, let's get back to camp," Peter declared as he took his hand in mine. "I'm starving."

###

Even though Peter had told me he wasn't going to go after Hook, he was still restless. He needed to do something.

So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when he announced that he and a few of the Lost Boys were leaving to go cause trouble in Eastloche as soon as dinner was finished.

I almost choked on the piece of meat in my mouth. It had been so long since I heard that name, but it didn't stop the unwanted memory from pushing through the fog.

The last time Peter and the Lost Boys had visited Eastloche, people had died. Five young boys, all drowned, and each with a letter of my name carved into their bellies. All because my father had denied to give me to Peter.

Peter gave me a knowing smile and nodded. "Yes, Sweetheart. Eastloche. It's been a while, and the boys there always seem keen on a good game of hide and seek."

My stomach dropped. I knew what that meant, but who was I to try and stop Peter? Besides, the only reason he did those things was to send a message; to help protect the Lost Boys. And me.

"When will you be back?" I asked, trying to get past the acidic taste in my mouth.

Peter helped me to my feet before pressing a kiss to my lips. "Sooner than you think," he promised. Then, he turned to the Lost Boys who would be going with him with a smirk. "Alright boys, let's head out! There's no time to waste."

As everyone scattered to go about their business, my eyes fell on John, who was sitting across the fire. He was staring at me, his eyes seeming to dance in the firelight. A ghost of a smile appeared at the corners of his mouth, and I couldn't shake the feeling that he was up to something.

"I'm going to bed," I stated long after Peter had vanished into the forest, and he nodded.

"Sleep tight, Holly," he said as he threw another log on the fire. He had first watch tonight, which meant keeping the fire going and keeping threats away. "Don't let the pirates bite."

His words echoed in my ears long after I had changed into one of Peter's shirts to sleep in and long after I crawled into the bed Peter and I shared. He had never said anything like that to me before.

But before I could worry too much about it, sleep overtook me, and I was drifting into blackness, the shadows of nightmares of days long passed waiting to crash over me just as they always did.