True Love Way
Chapter One: Heartbreak
Setup: My story picks up right after Bella decides to break Jacob's freaking heart along with the rest of his freaking body in Eclipse.
At first, Bella Swan just concentrates on walking, ignoring Billy's hard eyes as she uses the wall to support herself. She breathes in deep, fighting tears, trying to forget the agony she put inside her best friend's eyes. Only, she knew Jacob was lost, her best friend was gone. Gone because they fell in love somewhere along the way. His bitter sadness leaves her dizzy.
She fights the urge to turn back, take all her hurtful words and renege. Tell him that she didn't have to get married right away, tell him that maybe, just maybe they could fight their way back to the way they were before, before the wolf and the love and the pushing that drove her insane.
Billy calls to her as she throws herself out the house. Of course she stumbles and hits the ground, scratching up her palms. The pain isn't nearly enough to distract from the aching in heart, so that's why the sob that breaks free surprises her.
And once the dam burst its impossible to stop. So she rushes to her truck and slams the door shut, starting up old faithful and taking comfort in its familiar roar. But it was the car that Jacob fixed, the same Jacob that was broken and bleeding in the little red house beside her. Everything reminds her of him, everything seems imbued with his touch.
Her mind is an impossible place to be in now she knows she loves him. She loves him, she was IN love with him, and she was going to marry someone else. Someone that was her heart, body, and soul. And briefly she wonders, if Edward was her everything what did that make Jacob.
"Bella?" she jumps, wiping her eyes to look down at Billy Black. She never fails to be amazed by the depth of wisdom and understanding he holds in a single gaze.
"I'm leaving," she croaks out.
"I can't let you drive home like that honey." He pulls open the car door with little effort.
Jacob calls me honey. And she always hated it before. Now she knew why, it was too intimate, too sweet. She hates it because she loves it. The next wave of hysterics was stifled as she nods her consent, realizing she couldn't see anyway.
Billy takes her hand in his and rolls back enough for her to step out. Her legs feel too soft to hold her up, but she manages. Billy's hands were rough, and warm like his son's.
She realizes then that she couldn't go back into that house. She plants her feet and shakes her head and tries to pull away.
"I can't," she whispers. Billy doesn't let her go, his grip surprisingly strong.
"You'll both get through it," and he tugs. The only other option Bella has is to yank away and tear out of La Push as fast as her truck can go. But she figures in her current state she'd probably mow down little children or hit a tree, so she obliges.
Billy leaves her in the doorway where she tries to pull herself together. He rolls himself into the kitchen, preparing tea. He hopes to soothe her. Billy was only nice because she was his bestfriend's daughter, and 18 years ago he used to change her diapers. She had recently become the bitch that broke his baby boy's heart. And if it wasn't for Charlie or 18 years of history, he'd shoot her and use the remains for bait on the weekend.
But before he can speak, or grow any angrier, a crash shocks him and Bella both. Another follows, and then another, until the banging drowns out the television. Bella is moving in an instant, rushing to the source. Jacob's door is now closed, and when she tries the knob she finds it locked. A string of curse words come from inside; creative, vulgar words that cause her to blush.
But it was the tone that dug under her flesh, unsettling her.
"Jake?" she whispers. The crashing turns into thumping, the thumping only barely hiding the broken sob that spears her in two.
She wiggles the lock. At Bella's house, the little metal keys were hidden on top of the door. It was the same at the Blacks. One turn and click and she steps in. The bed stops some of her progress, overturned with the headboard cracked. A random trophy sticks out of the furthest wall, and the tiny window is broken. The rest of the room is in shambles.
And Bella's eyes trail to the corner, where a giant teenage wolf crouches curled into himself, his bandages stained with his own blood, body twitching. Fist sized holes gape beside his head, his right hand rapidly healing from new bruises and cuts.
She steps backward but Billy's hand stops her. He surveys the room with an expression of deep understanding and deeper pain. She can't stand to look at him and see the accusation there in his eyes. He pushes her kindly into the room.
Unable to flee, Bella sucks up the guilt and tries to be for him what he always was for her.
"Oh Jake," she whispers brokenly, wading through the carnage. The room was tiny but they feel separated by miles and miles.
He doesn't turn to her but his whole body stiffens.
"No Bella, just close the door," and he hides his face even further into the wall. He tore his stitches she realizes as the dark red stains became more prominent. He'd been crushed by more than a vampire, and they both knew it.
She maneuvers over the bed and desk without suffering any major damage. She feels the tears well up again, refusing to fade as she cries for him. He faces her then, trying to push past his own hurt. Bella was an emotional masochist, and she didn't need any extra ammunition to fall apart.
"I'm so sorry," she bites out reaching to touch him. He ducks her, managing a half smile.
"Stop beating yourself up. I'm ok." He doesn't try to get up though, not wanting her to see what his front looks like after he ripped away the bandages. She just stares down on him, horrified.
"You're not ok," she reaches again but he bats her hand away.
"Come on Bella, get out. I'm bleeding and snotting all over the place and you don't need to see it," he chuckles and it sounds real enough for her to hope that maybe he wasn't as broken as she feared. Then her eyes met his and she realizes that was a fool's desire.
"What did I do to you?"
He grins and it scares her. It was a grin that didn't belong to her Jacob or the pack's Jacob. It was new. It belonged solely to what she left behind. He stands up, and she makes herself take in his injuries. Gashes, shallow bruising, places that bulged strangely because of the broken bones underneath.
The nausea hits her and before she knows it she's sitting on the edge of the overturned bed, her head forced between her legs, Jacob's overly warm hand rubbing circles into her back.
"You're always so ready to take the blame for everything," he admonishes softly. She nods.
"You look awful Jake." She feels him shrug.
"War wounds, they'll make a great story one day."
She manages a choked laugh, "Something to tell around the bonfire?"
"Sure, sure," she pulls away gently, eying the mess he made.
"Where are you going to sleep now you've broken the bed?" real humor enters his eyes.
"I wasn't thinking that far ahead, and I'm sure it just the headboard" she stands as he rights the bed with his good arm, wincing just as little. He kicks it back against the wall, ignoring the broken junk that he crushes and hides beneath it. Bella fetches the crumpled blankets and lays them over the sheets, saddened and angered by the awkwardness that now existed between them.
"I think I should have Carlisle fix you again," she whispers touching a particularly bad looking cut. His skin jumps beneath her fingers. He catches her hand and drops it at her side.
"Nah, that'll be gone by nightfall. Like I said, I can't feel it, doesn't stop-" he turns wary eyes on her.
"What I did," she finishes looking miserable, "I know."
They both sit on the bed, side by side. Her anxious hands fiddling with the bracelet he gave her, the only piece of jewelry she ever wore. Her fingers hold and caress the little wooden wolf carved there, the wolf that she always now saw as Jake.
He snorts. "He just had to add his big ass diamond didn't he?" he moves around her to lie back down, oblivious to the blood smears he's leaving.
Bella's eyes go wide as she stares at it. Looking at it from his eyes she is suddenly ashamed. She works at the clasp, desperate to remove it.
"Oh leave it," he gripes flinging his good arm over his eyes.
"Sorry," she whispers. He doesn't respond, his lips stretching into a tight line. He was back to shaking and Bella's heart breaks a little bit more. She scoots closer to him, resting her hand on his arm.
"What's a few more weeks?" she whispers mostly to herself. "We can do this Jake, we can find a way to make it hurt less," her mind works for a possible solution.
"No," his voice is suddenly stronger. "No, I need a clean break. I need to remember what you said and learn how to let you go before-" he swallows and looks up at her, that profound, heart wrenching sorrow back in his eyes, "before you kill me Bells." She flinches as his hand cups her cheek gently, his words stabbing through her. "Loving you," he whispers, "is the worst pain I've ever known."
Unable to stand the intensity, Bella jumps up, pacing quickly, "That's good right?" her voice isn't as convinced, "It'll be good for you, if it stops you from hurting," she bites her lip and looks at him, wondering how things would've been if she never, ever walked into his life.
He sighs, "It'll never stop hurting Bells. Did it stop hurting after your blo-, after Edward left?" her expression goes from shock to agony in a matter of seconds. Her hands shoot up to her mouth, her eyes shutting tightly.
"No it didn't. But it won't be like that for you will it?" his laugh is dark and piercing.
" Worse. Because I'll be left with all my cards on the table. All the feelings finally out. Knowing you love me, I thought it would make it better, make it bearable because you wouldn't be blind. But now my ego is as bruised as my heart," he smiles.
"If I could just better explain," Bella's pleading hurts him. He hates it hurts, hates she still dictates his emotions.
"You did it fine the first time," his tone is harsher than he intends. "I get it," he starts again delicately. "It's just," he looks at her and sees everything he loves and wants in life. His face softens, his eyes coming alive under the shadows he tries to hide them, "You're my Edward honey."
The silence that follows is deafening.
For the fifth time that day, Bella feels the tears well up again, feels them fall unchecked. Jacob turns his face toward the wall, fighting to get his own emotions in check as she gasps above him.
She wraps her arms around herself, something she hadn't felt the need to do in months. She clutches at her abdomen, trying to keep her insides from falling out.
"Stop crying," he mutters. She tries but fails, only managing to make herself cry harder. He pulls her to him then, ignoring his wounds as she curves perfectly beside him, choking.
"I was never any good with tears," he admits kissing her temple. Her skin burns where his lips press. She moves as close as she can, wishing to somehow merge into his body, merge and hurt for him.
"Who will be your Jacob," she sobs against his neck. Her grip on his arm is almost painful. "Who will put you back together?"
He watches her tears mingle with his blood, watches the pink drops slide down onto the sheets. "I don't know," he whispers. His arms wrap around her, where they've always wanted to be. "I don't know."
Yeah, I know I have no right starting another story but this idea wouldn't stop nagging me! So lo and behold its 3 in the morning and chapter 1 is born. I hope you like it, I've spent the last two hours listening to Meshell Nedegeocello and Natalie Merchant to get the mood right.
And if I moved you, just a little bit, review! ^_^ Thanks.