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Silence
"There are ten centimeters of silence between your hands and my hands. A border of unspoken words between your lips and my lips, and something that shine sadly between your eyes and my eyes."
Mario Benedetti, Soledades
May 3rd, 1998, Hogwarts
Slytherin Common Room
Pansy avoids Draco's eyes and touches nervously her hair. Since hours ago they know what is going to happen, when the dark mark tattooed on Draco's arm began to hurt, when a Ravenclaw named Terry Boot shouted that Harry Potter and his friend had entered to Gringotts, when the two Carrow began to hang around like jailed lions. Draco was angry since that moment and Pansy have to guess all that happened. They knew all of that since a lot of hours ago. They don't have more time. Pansy knows that it's going to be a battle, here, in Hogwarts, but she doesn't know what it's going to happen. Who know that. However, her parents couldn't rescue her of this dark scene. She's still there, and she doesn't want to be a spectator of the battle.
"What much time is left?", she asks, still avoiding Draco's look.
"A few. I don't know. Maybe an hour, maybe… less", he answers, shortly. She sighs and, sitting on the border of the bed, she crosses her leg with evident nervousness. One of her heels hits the ground many times. For a few moments, they only can hear that: the heeling.
Pansy want to tell Draco many things. One, that he doesn't be afraid, but she don't know how to say that, because she is paralyzed because of the fear. Two, she want to tell him that he have to be brave, but she knows that the Slytherin, green and silver, aren't brave persons. Just ambitious, crafty, but not brave. A Slytherin always run away from the battles, but he has to stay this time. He has the dark mark on his arm, he is one "them", he is a deatheater.
Pansy want to tell him so many things…, but she doesn't know how to say anything. She will sound ridiculous, stupid, with no sense. So, she decides to keep her silence, and then, they only have that as a sad relief: their silence. Because after the battle, they will be different, because the can lose something more than their life.
So, both decide to stay in silence.
Pansy looks for Draco's hand like many other times, and she grasps it. This time, he doesn't refuse to it, but he doesn't completely accepts. He doesn't involve her hand, doesn't make a single movement. He simply lets Pansy grasps his hand all the time she wants and looks for the comfort she doesn't find in any other part. However, Draco knows that it's no comfort there, and he also knows that they are going to stay in that place the half and hour of freedom they have left. They stay there with unspoken words, because all they know have lost sense.
Now, in these moment, Draco doesn't know if he loves Pansy, or not. Maybe he only uses her to forget all the stuff he knows about the Dark Lord, who is a cruel person.
Pansy puts her head down, and she lets her black hair covers her face. She doesn't cry, doesn't shed tears. She is not going to do that. She knows, deeply, that the result of the battle doesn't matter to her. She only wants to leave Hogwarts alive, she doesn't know how.
She sighs.
Very deeply.
She says nothing.
She lets the silence stays there, with all the unspoken words, all the phrases they doesn't want to say. There nothing for both. They only have their hands intertwined, these eyes that only make questions no-one know how to answer. Questions like "What is going ro happen?", "We stay alive after all?" "What is going to happen to us?". They make this questions in their mind, many times, but none of both wants to know the answer. They prefer the silence.
We have no time, Pansy says herself.
She still wants to tell Draco many things, but she doesn't know how to do it.
She prefers to stay in silence.
They don't kiss each other. They don't try to prove anything, the only stay there, sit in the border of Draco's bed, waiting for the end. He already knows that she is going to run away, if she can. Even though Pansy wants to stay with him, in all moment…, but she alsa wants to run away, because of the fear, because she know that she can die there.
And Pansy Parkinson, overall, even Draco Malfoy, desires to live.
Then, Slughorn appears and he orders al his studendt to move to the Hall. Pansy sighs and atands up. Draco do the same.
"It's over", she whispers.
"No, it is just begin—"
Pansy doesn't say anything after that. She only walks, with her head turn up, distinguished. And she doesn't say anything. She is going to survive to the Battle, no matter of what.
Like all the Slytherins.
Like Draco.
Maybe, like all the people who are going to stay in order to fight.
At the end, what's the difference?
Draco releases Pansy's hand and he walks without looking back. First, a step. Two steps. Three. No looking back. Like all the others. Like her. Pansy sighs again, another time. She keeps on her mind a last look of Draco, and then, she only thinks in her survival.
Spanish version – July 29, 2011.
Translate version – August 24, 2013
Nea Poulain
As you can see, English is not my mother tongue, so my level isn't always perfect. So, if you find mistakes, you can tell me. Translate a story is very difficult, also, because of all the expressions that don't have an equivalent on English. So, I hope you like it. I also translate Mario Benedetti's phrase.