'In another life, Steven. ' Ste shot up in his bed covered in sweat and gasping for a breath. His eyes frantically went around the room as the thick Irish accent echoed in his brain.
"Fuck." Ste whispered and ran a hand over his face. He looked to the right to see Leah and Lucas sleeping soundly in the bed next to him. The sweat soaked into his side of the sheets. The kids made a pillow fort between him and them the night before so they could whisper secrets to each other and pretend their daddy was a knight protecting their small dream castle.
Ste smiled and pulled the blankets over them more but it was useless. The night heat was barely tolerable. England rarely had summer but when it did, it was scorching. Even when the sun was gone. The windows were open around the flat however there wasn't any wind to create a draft. Ste got out of the bedroom and tip toed into the kitchen. Drowning a glass of tap water cooled him for a moment but the sweat stuck to his skin unpleasantly.
There was no point in taking a shower when he had to get up in four hours and take another one.
"In another life..." He muttered looking at the empty glass. The dreams were getting more and more frequent lately. The man in them was gorgeous beyond belief and Ste longed for him with every dream. He longed for the ridiculous porn stache. The piercing blue eyes. The Irish accent that just made Ste's insides melt. He longed for this stranger. He longed for any kind of physical contact with a man. It's been years since Ste even had a quickie in the club toilets.
Ste sighed and put the glass on the drying rack. No point in washing it when it would be used by the same occupant in the morning.
He quickly went into the bathroom taking a piss, wiping some of the sweat off with a damp towel before returning to wet sheets and his children.
They didn't know if he was gay or straight. They were too little to understand sexuality so Ste and Amy decided to make it as simple as it could be for them. They just knew daddy and mummy were not together. Mummy lived in London with auntie Anne and Phoenix and daddy lived in Chester by himself. They spent summer, Christmas and Easter with daddy and the rest of the time they lived with mummy.
If one were to ask Leah what she thought about this arrangement, she would roll her head around five times like she's seen on the telly, and say she would like daddy to find an auntie or an uncle to live with so he wouldn't be alone when Leah and Lucas went back to London.
If one were to ask Lucas what he thought, he would look serious for a moment before smiling brightly and looking under the bed or the closet for furry monsters he could be friends with like he's in that movie. Most of the monsters he found however turned out to be dust, dirt and Ste's clothes.
Ste smiled at his two babies and slowly let the sound of their little breaths lull him back to sleep. The Irish man reappearing again.
-.-.-.-.-.-
"Ste! How could you do that?!" Amy's voice berated him over the speakerphone as he rushed around the small flat making sandwiches for the kids. "Lucas is a vegetarian! Don't feed him duck! He doesn't like that!" Ste rolled his eyes and glanced at the bathroom where the kids were brushing their teeth slowly. They hated doing it. Leah always refused claiming her teeth will fall out anyways with Lucas right on her heel agreeing to every word his big sister was saying.
"Amy. He's five. Just 'cause you're a vegetarian doesn't mean he is. I would appreciate if your Mitzeee stopped putting ideas in his head, yeah." Amy growled 'Anne' over the phone. "And he asked me for duck. He wanted to eat the relatives of the one who came at him when you took him to the pond." Amy went so silent for a moment that Ste had to check if she didn't disconnect.
"Oh." The kids bumbled out happily from the bathroom, grabbed their sandwiches and sat in the small living room eating their breakfast in front of the telly. Ste picked up the phone and took it off speaker so he could talk with Amy more privately. "How is everything with you anyways?" Ste laughed.
"Done with cussing me out, Ames?" He could imagine her blushing on the other side. "Things are good. Tony agreed to give me more hours when the kids are gone. The four at the moment are enough. The babysitting duty is finally split. Danny and Mike had like a proper meet about it at The Dog."
"Really? I can't imagine it. Me dad sitting down with yours and working out a schedule? Please tell me there were timetables."
"With rulers and everything." Amy cackled on the other side. "Mike gets them every Monday and Friday. Danny does Tuesdays and Wednesdays. And Leela does Thursdays."
"Leela Lomax? Your sister? How'd you manage that?"
"She offered. Apparently now that the kids can communicate they are worth her Majesty's time."
"What about the weekend? Or when you go clubbing or something?" Ste stilled and watched his kids for a moment.
"That's done, Ames. You know that."
"Ste, come on. You can't stop your life because of some dream man." His grip tightened on the phone and he took three deep breaths to calm down.
"That is not why and you know it. You wanna talk to the kids?" The kids were safe. Amy was treading on dangerous ground and Ste needed to get back to safety. In his own mind. He barely heard her agreement but he held out the phone to his children and called them over. Lucas happily bounced over putting his plate on the table, wiping his hands on Ste's trousers and grabbed the phone. Both him and Leah talked with Amy about random things Ste didn't pay attention to. He grabbed the bed sheets and stuffed them in the washing machine quickly whilst setting out clothes for the kids. They only arrived two days ago but Ste was already back in the daddy routine he managed to create over the years.
After the kids were done talking with Amy, they passed the phone back to Ste and went to put on the clothes. Leah telling Lucas he should wear one of her bracelets to show solidarity. Ste suspected Mitzeee taught her that.
"Alright, Ames?"
"Yeah. They seem good. I'll call during the weekend. The three of us are going to Wales for a couple of days."
"Fancy,"
"Shut up." Ste smiled, the earlier tension disappearing immediately. They spoke for a few more minutes before Amy had to go and deal with Phoenix. Leah and Lucas came back into the room fully dressed and ready to leave excited to go and see their grandpa Danny and grandma Sam.
-.-.-.-.-.-
Tony was in a good mood today which always worked out well for Ste. However this good mood was actually a piss take. Tony's restaurant got hired to do catering for someone's birthday by their family and Ste was the best chef Tony had so majority of the work fell on his shoulders.
"Why do I gotta do it?" Ste whinged following Tony out of the kitchen.
"Ste, you know why."
"No, I really don't. Make someone else do it. If I do it, I gotta create a whole menu and actually talk to those people."
"You know, it wouldn't kill you to go outside your comfort zone." Tony said. "But you don't have to talk to them. They left their requirements on the sheet."
"Oh because that's not inconvenient." Ste frowned. "Wait, who are these people anyways?" Tony mumbled something and walked behind the bar not looking at the younger man. "Tony. Are you hiding something from the best chef you have ever had?"
"You're not the best-"
"Then have someone else do it." Tony took a deep breath. His good mood diminishing slowly.
"It's for John Paul." Ste froze instantly before nodding.
"Wow. Didn't know the McQueens would doll out any money."
"Ste."
"It's fine." Ste walked back into the kitchen and took the requirement sheet before starting to compose a menu. Soon he wasn't alone in the kitchen as Doug Carter walked in whistling happily.
"Morning, Ste." He grumbled a reply looking at his work. "Such a gorgeous day outside and we have to be in here. What a shame, don't you think?"
"I'm only here till 12, mate."
"Ah, yes. The kids are back." Doug smiled. "You should bring them over sometime. Annoys Noah but Leanne and Texas adore them."
"Maybe." Ste replied non-comittedly and went with the menu to Tony. "What d'you think?" Tony's eyes roamed it over before the older man nodded.
"Looks good. Great job, Ste."
"Ta. When do we need it for?" Tony stared at him for a moment. "Yeah, I know when his birthday is. I mean the food. Should I start now or what?"
"You can start now on the sauces. We'll freeze those. Handle the meat on the day."
"Alright." He turned around to walk back into the kitchen but Tony's voice stopped him. "What?"
"This isn't personal. The pay from this will let you take the kids to a theme park or something."
"I know, Tony. And I promise I won't poison them." He gave a small smile to his boss before walking back in the kitchen and pulling out a bunch of pots. Doug tried to make conversation as usual but Ste ignored him as much as possible. It wasn't that Doug was a horrible person or anything like that. Ste just kept to himself. He only had a handful of people he was close now. That he could trust. It also didn't help the fact that he suspected that Doug liked him. The American proclaimed himself a heterosexual too often for it to be believable. Constantly having to reassure himself that he was straight. Especially around Ste.
And Ste was not interested in anything or anyone. Except the dream man. However he knew the man didn't exist so there was no point in hoping for him to stroll into the village. A village that didn't host any Irish stached gorgeous males with blue eyes.
The time flew by as the hours went on and Ste lost himself in the art of cooking. There were only three things in the world that mattered to him now. Leah, Lucas and cooking. He loved to create something delicious out of several ingredients that were nothing by themselves but together they made a masterpiece. This was Ste's art.
He heard his name being called and smiled as the voices of his children sounded through. The two blonde rascals stood in the doorway grinning at him. They weren't allowed in the kitchen because of several health hazards and the sharp objects.
"Hey guys!" Doug yelled and came over to hug them. They returned the hug reluctantly. "You came to see your dad at work?" Lucas nodded turning shy.
"Go back outside, I'll be right there." He pulled out several labels and started writing on them before finding plastic containers.
"Daddy, can you make us burgers?" Leah asked pulling out those puppy dog eyes. Ste sighed. "And for grandad too? Please?"
"With chips, daddy?" Lucas joined in on the crusade. Both of them sticking out their bottom lip like Ste did when he wanted something.
"Okay. Just this once." It wouldn't be only once and everyone knew it. "Chicken burgers, okay?" The kids jumped up and down and bounced out of the kitchen back to the restaurant.
"I can make it, if you want." Doug offered. "Not particulary busy."
"It's fine." Ste put the containers in one of the fridges and the pots in the dishwasher. "I make it differently."
"Right. Hey, you know Leanne's birthday party is next week. It'd be nice if you'd be there. I'm sure she'd appreciate it."
"Maybe. Thanks for the invite." They worked in silence around each other before the door opened again and Lynsey Nolan walked in.
"Afternoon, boys." Her accent reminding Ste of his dreams for a moment. "Ste, I saw the kids out there. You must be happy to have them back." She spoke as she put on her chef whites.
"You've no idea." He smiled at her. Lynsey worked part time at the restaurant and part time at the hospital. Ste didn't know why and she refused to tell anyone. The reason he liked her was because like him, she kept people at bay. No one really knew who Lynsey Nolan was.
"Must be nice. Still can't believe you're a dad, you know. So young. And your own dad looks young as well. Good genes in yer family." He smirked at her.
"You wanna be my new stepmum, Lyns? I think Sam would have something to say about that."
"She'd fit right in though." Doug laughed trying to join the conversation but instead created an awkward silence. Ste grabbed a big plate where he stuffed the four burgers and a mountain of chips before going out. Danny, Leah, Lucas and Tony were sitting at a table near the bar so Tony could keep an eye on things. The two men lost on conversation started when Ste put the plate on the table and grabbed a spare chair. The kids attacking the food with a well rehearsed 'Thank you, daddy! '.
"Cheers, Ste." Danny smiled continuing on the conversation with Tony who munched on the chips. There were plenty to go around. Ste looked at his kids and asked what they did today.
"We went to the park but when Peri woke up we made a kite. Mine is purple and Lucas made a brown one." Leah started not eating until she finished her sentence. Lucas had other ideas.
"She shaid we will fly them when itsh wind." The boy spoke with food flying out of his mouth. "Daddy, why ish it sho hot? Auntie Anne shaysh itsh becaushe Phoenixsh doeshn't eat leeksh but that'sh dumb."
"Uh..." Ste thought about an answer whilst munching on his burger. "Dunno, really. Maybe we're closer to the sun or somethin'."
"The sun is a star, Lucas." Leah said proudly.
"Is Marsh a shtar then too?"
"No. It's a planet."
"Why?"
"Because aliens live on it. They found water on Mars which means that there was life on it. That's what Rosie says and her mum works for the science people." Lucas' eyes widened like saucers as Leah told him what Rosie said. Ste smiled from his food at his kids.
He missed them so much. He dreaded the days when they would grow up and want to spend more time with their friends instead of him. Danny interrupted his self-pitying train of thought by asking him a question.
"What?"
"Where your head at, boy?" Tony laughed and got up to serve a new customer who just walked in. Ste glared at his retreating form but there was no heat behind it.
"I was asking if you three wanna come by tonight." Danny said amused by his son.
"Oh. Right. You not sick of us yet, dad?"
"Getting there." The older man smirked. "What do you say? Tegan will order pizza." The kids perked up at the sound of pizza.
"Please, daddy. Can we?" Leah asked clapping her hands together.
"Your mum will rip me a new one because I'm only feeding you two fast food."
"Blame it on grandad." Lucas suggested earning a laugh from the older man.
"Come on. I'll even invite Mike. Your sisters miss you as well. You've been cacooning yourself in that flat for weeks. The only time I see you is when the kids are here or if I drag myself to this place. And Tony ain't really that interesting." Tony yelled an 'I heard that! ' from the other side of the room.
"Alright. But yeah. Invite Mike too. He missed them as much as me." Leah burped loudly and bowed her head a little when Lucas clapped. Ste shook his head and grinned. Only his two little blond devils could make him feel this content with his life.
-.-.-.-.-
"Oh my gosh, Mum." Leela said excitedly. "We're getting new neighbours." Ste looked at his sister for a moment before going back to playing chess with Peri.
"Leela. Do I look like someone who cares?" Sam asked not even bothering to look her way.
"What? Mum! What if they are murderers? You gotta run like a background check on them or something." Sam and Danny exchanged glances.
"Nah." They both said. Leela made a frustrated sound before dropping herself on the couch next to her daughter.
"You wanna know, don't you?" She asked the young girl in a small voice nudging her. Ste snorted.
"Leela, I love you, you gave birth to me but you are literally the only person in this household who is interested in gossip." Tegan laughed from the kitchen where her and Leah were making pancakes. Lucas was playing cards with Mike, Danny and Sam at the table.
"Why are you all so bloody boring?"
"'Cause you're so fascinating, innit?" Ste replied. Leela threw her hands up in frustration before narrowing her eyes at him.
"D'you know what else I heard?"
"You hear a lot of things." Peri spoke.
"Shush. I heard that the McQueens are throwing John Paul a very big party and Tony's is catering it." Everyone went silent at that and looked at Ste who stared firmly at the game board in front of him.
"You actually heard something right, then." Ste have her a tight smile. "Your move." Peri quickly made a move but everyone else was still silent. "What?"
"Ste, are you sure that's...a good idea?" Sam asked. Always the first one to speak one and be the most frank. Ste liked that about her. When Danny's eyes were on him frozen in fear.
"Just business." He shrugged. "Besides, I don't plan on seeing him. Just making the food." Sam shook her head but went back to the game. His father followed her lead after a moment. Lucas abandoned it though and hobbled over to Ste sitting down next to him across from Leela and Peri.
"Daddy, who's John Paul?" Ste looked at his little boy and sighed.
"He was a friend of mine."
"Not anymore?"
"No, not since you were three."
"Why?" Leela kept quiet but Ste could see her interested in the answer.
"I hurt him. And he hurt me. I'll explain it better when you're older, okay?" Lucas considered it for a moment before hugging Ste around his waist.
"As long as me and Leah are here, no one will get hurt." Ste smiled and kissed his son's head before the boy bounced away to bother Leah and Tegan in the kitchen.
"Why couldn't you be as cute as him?" Leela asked Peri accusingly.
"'Cause you insisted I call you Leela instead of mum." Peri replied continuing on with the game whilst Leela pouted in a very similar fashion to Ste's.