AN: I don't know. I honestly don't know. I have no idea where this came from. Anything goes shipwise. Just roll with it. I did...?

Disclaimer: I don't own Haikyuu!

Tanaka used to hate knocking. He didn't need it, as he found that just barging through the door and making a scene was the way to go. Knocking just wasn't for a guy like him, who did everything his own way. But a couple of very... shall we say, special incidents changed Tanakas mind greatly.

The first time it had happened, Noya and him had been looking for Kiyoko and Yachi, who were not where they were meant to be; the gym. They had practice, and the two of them had left with some excuse or another, and they hadn't been back since. Since Yachi had promised to only be gone five minutes, and fifteen minutes had already passed, the two had decided that they were going to be the search party, and rescue the damsels in distress (not that they were in distress, nor were they damsels. They could take care of themselves just fine.).

They had run all over the school grounds looking for them, before finally, as a joke, Noya had pointed at a closet and said: "Wouldn't it be funny if they were in there?". Tanaka, having no better ideas himself, threw the closet door open to prove that there was no-one there. Much to his (and Noyas) surprise, someone was there. Two someones, in fact.

The scene inside immediately halted, Yachi going red, Kiyoko hiding her face in her hands.

Tanaka had stumbled, tripped, fell over Noyas foot, and taken a hard hit to his head. His goddess was...was...was taken.

In shock, Noya had helped him up then unceremoniously dropped him again. Tanaka had hit his head again.

After managing to get up on his own, Tanaka had nodded at the two girls with a "lovely weather today, isn't it?", and left, heading back to the gym, leaving Noya to somehow stutter his way through an explanation of how the two girls were needed in the gym.

The two had then shown up at the gym like nothing had ever happened, and practice had resumed as normal. Well, as normal as the libero failing to touch the ball even once, and Tanaka continuously failing to spike the ball over the net.

By the end of practice, Tanakas head was throbbing, a result of receiving the volleyball with his head, and jumping into the net once or twice. It simply just wasn't his day.

Ukai had asked if they were okay, and Noya had just about to blurt out what they'd seen when Tanaka gave him a sneaky jab in the ribs. Noya had given a small frown, barely noticeable.

Tanaka had told Ukai that there was nothing wrong and they were just feeling off their game today. Noya had nodded his agreement.

As they left the gym, Noya asked Tanaka why he'd done that.

"Kiyoko and Yachi were glaring at me." Tanaka had replied, in a rare moment of serious wisdom (yes, even he had them occasionally. Don't be so surprised.). "They obviously aren't ready to tell the rest of the team, whatever their reasons are, so I didn't want to be cruel and do it for them. They'll tell us when they're ready."

Noya smiled. "I get ya. Sure thing bro."

The second time was maybe a week after that. Tanaka had been the last one out of the gym, and he thought he'd be alone in the club room. Once again, he barged right in, and much to his shock, caught Noya and Asahi going at it.

That was probably even less expected than Kiyoko and Yachi. Noya had always been with Tanaka on the fact that Kiyoko was a goddess, and now, he wasn't quite sure what to believe.

So he bowed his head once more, commented on the weather and shut the door. He then, for the first time in his life, knocked on the door to the volleyball club room (Tanaka usually just liked to burst in like he tried to before, and yell at the top of his lungs to alert everyone to his amazing presence in the room.).

Asahi had opened the door, previously rumpled clothes straightened out once more, face as red as a tomato. Noya was down the back of the room, quietly getting changed out of his sweaty clothes, face tinged pink with embarrassment.

The time Tanaka spent in that room changing was one of the most awkward times he'd ever been a part of. And, yes, that was saying quite a lot. Tanaka had been in some very awkward situations before (it was a don't ask, don't tell thing). Asahi was a bumbling mess and Noya was silent (for once). Therefore, Tanaka had made it his personal mission to get out of there as fast as possible.

Standing at the door, he gave them both a "goodbye" and a small smile. He turned to leave, but was stopped by a "WAIT!" from Noya.

Tanaka turned back around, expression finally resembling one of his usual expressions. "Yeeesss?"

Noya blinked. "Could you please not tell anyone about this yet? We have a few things we need to sort out before we go public."

Tanaka shrugged. It seemed that Noya had actually put thought into this, so Tanaka supposed he'd keep silent just this once. "Sure. I'll keep quiet again bro."

Though there was no miserable failing in practice the next day, when Tanaka (once again) ripped off his shirt and spun it above his head in joy, there was the tiniest warning glare given to Noya and Asahi. They may be together, but Tanaka's abs were amazing (what an ego). They were also not to be stared at like that. Tanaka's abs were beauty, and they deserves to be shown, but not drooled over by another male.

Tanaka wasn't homophobic, no way, but he was straight. Always had been and always will be (or so he thought then).

The next time he walked in on a make out session, it wasn't really even something to walk in on, as it was outside and there was no doors involved.

It was just Hinata and Kageyama kissing passionately against the wall. They were so engrossed in their kissing, they didn't even notice that Tanaka was there.

The good thing about that one was that he didn't have to worry about keeping it a secret, because in the middle of practice, that very same day, Hinata leapt onto Kageyama and kissed him.

Though it was shocking, Tanaka had to admit he saw that one coming. There'd been unresolved sexual tension around those two for ages. It had only been a matter of time before they got together.

He even noticed that Suga received money from Daichi. A bet, most likely. A bet Suga had won.

The next time it had been early in the morning and Tanaka had gotten the spare key for the gym, and was gonna go practice when no-one else was there.

Much to his surprise, the door was already unlocked and the lights were already on. Undeterred by this, he opened the door, and immediately wished he hadn't.

Suga was giving Daichi a blow job, surrounded by abandoned volleyballs.

Lost for words, Tanaka had simply shouted "FUCK!".

Suga had stopped, and looked towards Tanaka, going red.

Daichi had sighed, turned Sugas head back around, and spoke some captain wisdom. "Come back in half an hour Tanaka. The gym will be free then. Leave us now."

As Tanaka had shut the door, unable to say a word, he heard Daichi telling Suga to continue what he had started. Suga, Tanaka guessed, had complied with Daichi's request, judging by the moaning he could hear emitting from the gym as he walked away as fast as he could without breaking into a run. The result was a very funny walk that would have earned him quite a few odd looks if there was anyone around to see him.

By this time, Tanaka had completely given up, and was considering knocking on doors before opening them (Horror! Shock! Gasp!). Watching him in practice, you'd think nothing was wrong with Tanaka unless you looked extra closely. All his spikes were hit harder than normal, though Ukai put that down to enthusiasm and an improvement in also stopped removing his shirt when he was excited, though if you watched closely, you'd see his hand twitch towards his shirt, before stopping all motion, and subtly sighing.

And just like that, two peaceful weeks passed in which Tanaka didn't come across any more make out sessions (apart from the ones Kageyama and Hinata gave to the whole team all the time, but that didn't count).

But, of course, peaceful times never last.

Tanaka had just started to think it was about time he accidentally walked in on Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, because there was no way they weren't together when practice got interupted.

This time it wasn't Tanaka doing the barging, but one very happy captain.

He'd just been jumping for a spike when the gym doors had been thrown open, and Kuroo had stalked in, crying "Tsukki~ I'm here~"

Tsukishima had groaned as Kuroo had caught sight of him and came bounding over. Before anyone could say anything, Kuroo had picked Tsukishima up (man, was he strong), spun him around, planted Tsukishima back on the ground, and given Tsukishima a big kiss.

While Tsukishima grumbled about it being embarrassing, and Kuroo waved a plastic bag around, claiming it had cake in it, the rest of the team all had varied shocked reactions.

Tanaka was so over it by this point, he just sat down and watched what happened. Suga received money from Daichi once again, Noya poked Asahi in the side and they shared a grin, Hinata and Kageyama did the obvious and Yachi sat down on Kiyoko in her surprise. Yamaguchi was texting to an unknown recipient once again. Ukai was complaining about all the distractions to Takeda.

Tanaka blinked. Now that he watched it all, he could see how they were all together. He was probably the only one here who knew that most of the team was in a relationship. He supposed, if anything, he had blackmail material.

He gave a small chuckle, though to Ennoshita, the one currently closest to him thought it sounded more like a deranged laugh of a mad man.

Tanaka gave another chuckle. Ennoshita shot him a look that went ignored.

Another chuckle burst from Tanakas mouth. It was followed by another, and then another, and before he knew it, he was rolling around the floor in hysterics.

Everyone stopped staring at Kuroo and Tsukishima, and started staring at Tanaka. Even Hinata and Kageyama stopped what they were doing to look at Tanaka.

"Couples!" he cried in between snorts of laughter, "Couples everywhere!"

Everyone blinked, confused, because it was only three couples (Hinata and Kageyama, Kuroo and Tsukishima, and them), though Noya thought it was only four (he was the exception). How were they meant to know that basically the whole team was dating, and Tanaka had walked in on basically all of them. Poor, poor Tanaka. All this knowledge, and nothing he can do with it.

Tanaka pointed at Yamaguchi, who was still texting, wiping away tears with one hand. "Next I'm going to walk in on you and your texting buddy going at it." He broke off into laughter. "And knowing my luck, it's going to be someone random like that setter from Nekoma."

Yamaguchi went red and started stuttering.

"Ohoho!" Kuroo pointed at Yamaguchi. "You're Kenma's texting buddy! He's always smiling and looking at his phone. We've been trying to get who he's texting out of him for ages!"

Yamaguchi went red, and stayed red.

Tanaka burst into laughter once more. "Of course! I'm the only one still single," Ennoshita gave a pointed cough, but it was ignored. "so I'm the unlucky one who has to walk in on everyone kissing!"

There was silence, and there was a collective confused blink.

Tanaka stopped laughing, and sat up. "Oh. But I did catch one blow job." Daichi and Suga went red, but no-one noticed, because Tanaka had fallen over again, still laughing his head off.

"I'M SINGLE!" he cried, "THE ONLY SINGLE ONE ON THE TEAM!" Ennoshita gave another pointed cough, but just like before, it was ignored. "AND THE ONLY STRAIGHT ONE, IT SEEMS!"

Now it was not only Yamaguchi who was red, but a couple of the more easily embarrassed people.

Tanaka's laughs broke up into hiccups, before he started to sob."I'm forever alone." He laughed again. "Knocking. Oh hell, why didn't I knock?" He rolled around on the floor some more, half crying, half laughing.

Kuroo leant into Tsukishima, and whispered: "I think he's having an internal crisis. From the sounds of things he's walked in on everyone kissing and more and it's really starting to get to him." Tsukishima gave a small snicker, but didn't say anything.

"Anyone wanna go comfort him?" Kuroo raised his hand and made a horizontal sweeping motion with it. "He looks like he needs a hug."

Ennoshita, being the closest, took it upon himself to bend down, wrap an arm around Tanaka, and lift him up again. He started to talk to Tanaka in a calming voice, hoping that something would get through to Tanaka. The half sob, half laughter faded into the distance as Ennoshita lead Tanaka away, an arm around his shoulders so he wouldn't fall over.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Suga asked Daichi. "I think he's been shaken up quite a bit."

Daichi smiled. "It's Tanaka. Don't worry. I bet you he'll be back tomorrow, determined to find someone to date."

"Oh," Suga raised an eyebrow, "a bet? Are you want to do this?"

Daichi gave a nod. "I'm sure this time."

Suga laughed, "We'll see. I think he will eventually decide to get, as he might call it, revenge after walking in on one more 'session'."

Daichi laughed. "If he walks in on one more session, I bet the poor kid will go crazy."

Suga shook his head. "Don't you go underestimating Tanaka now. He has more guts than a lot of people I know."

Daichi frowned.

Suga hurriedly added, "But you have the most guts out of anyone I know!"

Daichi smiled. "Awww, thank you Suga. You have the brightest smile I've ever seen."

And that bright smile lit up the room once more.

Meanwhile, Kuroo and Tsukishima had snuck off somewhere to do who knows what and Hinata, Kageyama, Noya and Asahi had started messing around with the volleyballs. Yamaguchi was texting again. No one was really practicing any more.

Ukai sighed, and turned to Takeda. "I'm just gonna stop practice here, I think. I don't think anyone will be able to practice properly after that."

Takeda nodded his agreement.

Next up: A practice game against Aoba Jousei takes an unexpected turn and Tanaka decides that knocking is his new best friend. Also: a new goal for Tanaka takes priority in his life.