A/N: Alternate reality where House gets Cuddy pregnant and they have a child. I might mess with the timeline/ages a bit, but the general idea stays the same. I am adding a character though and it will be a series of stories.

Disclaimer: I do not own House M.D.

….

Meet Jacob Daryl House

"I'm pregnant."

Gregory House's head shoots up to look at Lisa Cuddy. Her stance is rigid and her eyes are red-rimmed.

Two months ago, Stacy left House, and he was devastated. He ended up having a one night stand with Cuddy, but that was two months ago!

"What?"

"I'm pregnant. House, I can't be pregnant. I'm just out of college, we just started here. I'm not ready… You're not ready…"

"We had sex, you're 26-almost 27- and I'm 27. We're both grown adults; of course you can be pregnant."

"But I used the pill! We- we used protection! We were careful!"

Cuddy has tears flowing down her cheeks now. She pants in and out- hard, labored breathing. She looks at House, looks at him like he ought to know the answer, and typically he would have an answer. This is different though; this is personal. This is his child. His girlfriend- well, ex-girlfriend- and this was all too close.

"Protection doesn't mean anything unless it works," House says, simply to fill the silence, "Let me think."

They both sit in silence for a while until House opens his mouth again.

"Give it up."

Cuddy's eyes shoot up in confusion. Surely, House didn't just…

"What?"

"Terminate."

"It's already too late into the pregnancy, and I am not killing a baby!" Cuddy screams, affronted that House would suggest it.

"You aren't ready, I'll never be ready, and it's not a baby yet."

"I'm not terminating."

"Don't be stubborn. No one likes a humanitarian."

"House-!"

"Fine," House rolls his eyes and begins to pace.

Finally, after pacing around in silence for a bit, he says, "Have the baby. Put it up for adoption."

"No."

"Well then what do you want?!"

"I want you to take responsibility!"

Fine! I'm sorry I slept with you! It's all my fault! You didn't complain when it was happening! You know what? Have it. Keep the thing for all I care! But you're on your own! I'm not going to play daddy just to make you feel better."

"You're not playing, House! This is real!"

"Yeah, and I'll be a real sucky father. If you want it, keep it. Just keep it away from me."

And with that, House storms out, worrying all the way that when Cuddy has the baby- and if he knows her at all, she's having the baby- he'd be a father. Even worse, he'd be exactly like his father.

…

7 months later in the delivery room

Lisa Cuddy, Dean of medicine in PPTH, gives one last push and the baby squeezes out.

The delivery nurse immediately takes it and dries him off. She wraps him in a towel and hands him to Dr. Cuddy. Dr. Cuddy stares into her baby's eyes and practically glows. She looks up, hoping to see House there next to her. It's a dumb thing to wish for, he's not there.

The nurse returns and Cuddy's about to hand her the baby back when the door slides open and a stack of paper is thrown into Cuddy's face.

"You idiot. You had it anyways."

"House."

"That's my name. Don't wear it out. So I think we should get married. Shared custody isn't really my kind of thing. I got the papers, all you have to do is sign."

Everyone freezes, even new, 26 year-old Robert Chase who was trailing behind House stops moving. What kind of a proposal was that? Is it even a proposal?

"Well, can I see my spawn or not?"

House motions to Cuddy to give him the baby. Cuddy's muscles react before she has the chance to think, and hands House the baby. House carries him surprisingly gently- he cradles the head and supports the spine- and holds the baby at an arm's length, inspecting it.

"Seems healthy enough."

"Blue eyes," Cuddy says, stifling the want to say, "like his father". It's a miracle House even showed up. She figures that she shouldn't push it.

"Yeah, well at least he inherited all his looks from me. Imagine if he got them from you. That ass would be ginormous."

"Oh the humanity."

"Shut up and sign your marriage documents. I want to do some tests on him."

Cuddy looks horrified. "On our baby?! Are you crazy? Give him back!"

"Don't be a nag."

"A-a NAG?! You want to test a baby- your baby! How much more inhuman-? House, give me my baby before you kill him. And take your papers, I'm not signing this."

"I give him back, you'll kill him. Do you hear his breathing? He's wheezing like crazy. I want to know what's wrong."

"Another puzzle. Of course."

House sighs- something he does often around Cuddy- but the worried tone of the sigh has her looking up. House doesn't look much different, but he's smiling. It's small and barely has his lips upturned. It's not big and sunshiny, but it's not sarcastic either. It's almost like he's happy, or at least not sad, and for House, that's huge. Cuddy knows House well enough to notice the huge eyes he's looking at the baby with, the softened lines, and the smile. God, that smile. In all her time with him, she'd never once been able to get him to smile like that. Oh, she'd tried; she'd tried everything, but in the end, she decided to walk away with her dignity intact. She'd left him, labeled him a lost cause, and when Stacy left she took that as evidence that she was right. House was a lost cause. It didn't stop her from sleeping with him, but that was sex. House was hopeless, according to her. The man couldn't smile, let alone be human. But now? Now she's not sure anymore. If she was glowing, then he just transformed into the sun. It's not much- just a smile- but for House, it was like he just turned into a new man.

"Fine, but if there's something wrong, it's on you."

Cuddy huffs silently and amused. "This is pathetic, House. Most dads get worried and start college funds. You demand biopsies."

House fakes affronted. "I'm not worried! Curious, sure."

The objection sound half-hearted even to him.

"That might have been more effective if you'd looked at me while saying it instead of staring in wonder at our baby."

"I'm-."

"House, its fine. I love him too."

"…Shut up and sign."

And Cuddy does. Lord knows why. It had to be the worst marriage proposal ever, and she probably shouldn't make decisions in her hormone induces, drowsy, exhausted haze, but she does.

Maybe because she's never been so sure of anything as she was when she saw House hold their son. She was 100% positive of two things when she saw it; House is the father, and she's making a good choice in co-parent. She can't possibly be more sure of anything else.

"Hey," House says, "Can I name him?"

Scratch that, she is 200000%, absolutely positive, never-been-so-sure-in-her-life that she DOES NOT want House naming their baby.

"Nurse!" She calls out, "My son's name is…"

Damn, is what?

"Jacob! Jacob D-d-Daryl House. Jacob Daryl House. I don't care what my husband says, that is his name!"

"Ma'am I really think…"

"That. Is. His. Name."

"I- I understand."

…

A/N: I hope you enjoyed. Please R and R.