Solace
Star Trek: Voyager, Naomi Wildman, T, P/T-ish [G]

A/N: Inspired by the episode, "Memorial." Written in July 2000.

Carrots, carrots, carrots... Where did all the carrots go?

Naomi wrinkled her nose. She had enough stalks of celery for the project Seven had assigned her, but she couldn't seem to find any more carrots. Maybe Neelix had used them all for his leola root stew.

Sighing, she finally sat down by the flowerbed. Truth be told, her heart wasn't in the project anymore. She was too worried about Neelix.

She had missed him a lot while he had been gone on the away mission and had been looking forward to spending more time with him this week. But when she had asked him to help her with her project earlier this morning, he had seemed distant and distracted. That wasn't like him.

Then, all of a sudden, he had told her to get down, and started shooting at a group of people who had just come into the Mess Hall. It had taken a security team and Commander Chakotay to subdue him.

Naomi didn't completely understand why Neelix had been acting so strangely, but she knew it had something to do with the two-week away mission he had recently returned from. Chakotay, Tom, and Harry were also suffering from the same thing. She had
overheard the Doctor say they had "post-traumatic stress disorder." Though she wasn't sure exactly what that meant, she knew it wasn't a good thing.

What mattered was that Neelix wasn't feeling well, and she wanted to do something to help.

But what?

In Jefferies tube 45 C, B'Elanna opened yet another wall panel and scanned it with her tricorder. She was trying to isolate the source of the malfunction and repair it, but she wasn't having much luck.

It didn't help that she was having a difficult time concentrating on her work because of what had just happened between her and Tom.

Tom had rejected all her attempts to comfort him. She knew that he was going through a lot, but why did he have to shut her out like this every time he was hurting? She had hoped that talking it over would make him feel better, but he had insisted that
he'd rather be left alone.

Though she had tried her best to convince him that everything wasn't as bad as it seemed, he wouldn't listen to reason. He had lost his temper and told her that she just didn't understand. In the end there hadn't really been anything left for her to do except comply with his wishes. He just wasn't ready to talk to her.

Why won't he let me in?

This happened every time he went through something traumatic, and she was getting sick and tired of it. After all, every time that she had a problem, Tom was always there for her. Even when she tried to push him away, he persisted until she told him what was wrong. He had always maintained that they were stronger together, that they would work it out together.

So why was it okay for him to help her through her problems but not okay for her to help him?

It hurt that he didn't want to talk about his problems with her. Didn't he trust her?

She couldn't bear to see him suffering like this. It made her feel so helpless knowing that there was nothing she could do about it. That he didn't even want her help.

B'Elanna sighed, replacing the wall panel. She was getting claustrophobic in all these Jefferies tubes, so she decided to take a much-needed break. Crawling to the next junction, she opened the hatch that happened to lead to the airponics bay.

Naomi thought she heard a muffled clanging sound from the nearby wall, but she didn't pay much attention to it. Crewmembers were always working on the ship.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting there all alone, and she didn't really care. It was lonely sometimes being the only kid on board, but mostly she was used to being on her own and didn't mind it.

Right now everyone was busy because some of the other crewmembers had started experiencing the war memories as well. They were scrambling to figure out why and also keep the ship running.

Absently, she picked a few orchids and arranged them in a loose bouquet. I wonder if some of these pretty flowers would make Neelix feel better?

The sound of a hatch opening caught her attention, and she turned to look. A moment later, B'Elanna jumped out, looking more than a little annoyed. She didn't notice Naomi at first, as she was too busy muttering curses at the Jefferies tube.

Naomi coughed discreetly, and B'Elanna looked up, startled.

"Naomi? What are you doing here all by yourself?"

"Looking for carrots."

"Looking for carrots," B'Elanna repeated, her brow furrowing as she saw the flowers in Naomi's hand.

"It's for a project that Seven assigned me..." Naomi started to explain, but she trailed off when she realized that B'Elanna was all that interested.

B'Elanna frowned. She didn't usually spend a lot of time with Naomi and wasn't entirely sure how to interact with her. She had never really been all that comfortable around children, and it didn't help that Naomi seemed distraught about something. B'Elanna had the distinct feeling it wasn't about the carrots.

"I couldn't find any more carrots, so I started looking at the flowers," Naomi offered.

"I see. Well... they're very... lovely flowers," was all B'Elanna could think of to say.

Naomi sat down again, shoulders hunched, still clutching the little bouquet. "I thought they might make Neelix feel better."

"Oh..." B'Elanna didn't really know what to say on that matter, but as the only adult in the vicinity she felt obligated to reassure Naomi somehow. She had heard about what had
happened with Naomi and Neelix in the Mess Hall. Naomi must have been terrified, B'Elanna realized. Not to mention very confused.

At the moment however, Naomi merely looked very sad.

"I'm sure the flowers will make Neelix feel better," B'Elanna told her, sitting down beside her. "You should bring him some."

Naomi shook her head. "He doesn't want me to visit him," she said softly.

"What? Why not?"

Naomi shrugged. "I don't know. Seven said he doesn't want me to see him sick... but that doesn't make sense. I thought you were supposed to visit people when they were sick."

"Well... some people don't like to be visited when they're sick. I guess Neelix is one of them." And so is Tom, B'Elanna thought grimly to herself.

"But whenever I'm feeling sick or just sad, Neelix makes me feel better. He always helps me, takes care of me, makes me laugh... and I just want to help him now that he's not feeling well," said Naomi. "Why won't he let me?"

"I don't know," B'Elanna answered honestly. "I have the same problem with Tom," she confessed.

Eyes wide, Naomi stared at her. "Really?"

"Really."

The two of them fell silent for a moment, contemplating their predicament.

It was extremely frustrating. Neelix and Tom were both very giving, caring people, always the first to offer assistance, advice, and support to anyone in need... but they had a more difficult time being on the receiving end. They were so accustomed to being self-reliant that they didn't like to ask for anything from others. They didn't like admitting that they might need someone's help. Perhaps they were afraid it would seem like a sign
of weakness. Though they would never think that about other people needing them.

"I can kind of understand why Neelix might think I can't do anything to help him – I'm just a kid, after all – but why wouldn't Tom want your help?" Naomi finally asked.

B'Elanna winced. "He doesn't want me to worry about him."

"But you worry anyway."

"Yes, I do."

"I worry about Neelix, too."

"I know. But sometimes there's not a whole lot we can do about it."

"So what can we do now?" Naomi wanted to know.

"Don't worry, Naomi. When they're ready to see us, they will."

"I hope so."

"I know so. Neelix loves you very much. You know that, right?"

Naomi nodded. "And Tom loves you very much."

"Yeah." Even though he doesn't always act like it.

"So... if they love us and we love them, and we know they love us and they know we love them... that'll be enough?"

It took B'Elanna a moment to sort all that out. "I think so," she said at last. "As long as we let them know that we really love them, are here for them, and want only the best for them... it'll have to be enough."

"Okay." Naomi felt much better, knowing she wasn't alone. And realizing that it wasn't just because she was a kid that she had this problem, that grown-ups didn't always have all the answers either. She often put a lot of pressure on herself because she was the only kid on Voyager, and she didn't always know where she fit in. It was hard, because she really wanted to contribute as a productive member of the Voyager crew, like being the captain's assistant, but there were limits to what she could do.

B'Elanna felt better too. She was glad that she had been able to help Naomi and definitely feeling more optimistic about the situation. Her talk with Naomi had given her new perspective. She had realized that she shouldn't take Tom's withdrawal so personally,
because it didn't mean that he was rejecting her. He just needed a little time and personal space to deal with what he was going through.

"We'll just do the best that we can for them, and hope for the best."

"Right," Naomi agreed. "I'm going to give these flowers to Seven so she can give them to Neelix for me."

"That sounds like a great idea."

With that, the two of them left the airponics bay, smiling.

The End