The land is bare and cold, patches of wood strewn over the plain. Their camp is tucked into one of the leafy patches, taking up space between the trees. Cuthbert does not need to have the Touch like Alain or be a leader like Roland to know that the world is coming to an end, already has. Gilead's fall ensured that. Cuthbert doesn't like to dwell on the past, it takes too much of a toll these days, nostalgia turning into depression.
But sometimes he can't help himself. Sometimes, he longs for home and for some semblance of stability. He longs for the days when Roland would talk to him more. Now, his best friend is all quiet scowls and introverted silences. Roland had never been talkative – that is Cuthbert's job – but since Majis his walls had only become higher and stronger. Cuthbert knows him well enough to not take offense, but Roland isn't an easy person to get along with.
The only stable point in Cuthbert's life at this point is Alain. Alain who in his silences is not cold like Roland but rather warmly understanding. Alain is patient with Cuthbert the way Roland isn't, and he needs that right now. Needs someone to stand his hyperactive quirks and jitters. It's the only way Cuthbert knows how to make do.
Bert finds Alain by a small stream at the rear of their camp. He is cleaning his gun with meticulous care, the precise practiced movements with which Alain does everything painfully familiar. Cuthbert sits down beside him and, for once, says nothing.
"Bert? You ought to say something." Alain doesn't look up but Cuthbert knows his silence has his a nerve.
"I spend too much time around Roland. I think his silence has infected me. I find myself short on words these days." He grins good-naturedly, with just a tint of sardonic self-deprecation.
Alain looks up and gives him a long, sympathetic, almost tender look. "Roland does not mean what he does sometimes."
"Aye. I know. Hardly makes it better. It is not like it is with you. When he's quiet, there's a wall. He could be in terrible pain and we would not know."
"Roland is a leader. He has to have those walls."
"Like hell he does." Cuthbert scoffs. Alain is willing to make excuses for everone. It is endearing, usually, but not helpful at the moment.
"Bert…"
Cuthbert shakes his head and reaches out for Alain's hand. Alain hesitates for just a moment, then takes it. "As long as I have thee, all will be well. Tolerable as it were."
The smile on Alain's face is brief and sad, but it is there. He draws Cuthbert in and kisses him the way one kisses a lover. "Then fear not. I will always be here."
Alain won't keep that promise, but neither of them knows it yet.