Disclaimer: I do not own Hotarubi no Mori e nor do I own its characters. No money is being earned by writing this fic and all credit goes to its respective owners.
Reborn
Prologue
He could feel himself floating. It was an odd feeling. Not only did the sensation of touching the ground start to flee from him, but also did the weight of his arms, legs–everything. From the corner of his eye, he could see green sparks radiating from him, though he had paid hardly any attention to it as it was all directed towards the young lady standing right in front of him.
Speechless was his whole body as he could not move, perhaps even breathe. He paid no heed to anything. His stare stayed fixated onto the female. His mind was utterly blank for the entirety of that minute. Then it dawned onto him. Everything that was happening. Why it was happening. It all flooded into his mind.
Arms wide open, he smiled, putting as much happiness as he could conjure onto his frontal appearance. His head hurt from it all. He was going to stutter. His head had still not fully connected back with the rest of his body; however, as if remembering its long awaited desire, his mind became completely serene. "Come here, Hotaru," he smiled warmly, "I can finally touch you."
From an utterly blank expression, Gin could see everything start to flood in through her watering eyes. Disbelief, want, hesitation and overwhelming sadness. All this he could see run through her auburn orbs. It was entirely his fault, he knew, and so he waited patiently for her to move. With it all soon coming to an end, those few seconds of waiting for her were excruciating, though he bore with it to compensate for all the times he could not properly get away from her. If he had succeeded, the both of them would not have needed to go through this feeling of melancholy now.
Then it happened. Though the majority of his sense of touch had already left him, what he felt from her was still enough to satisfy him. Her warmth, her arms coalescing themselves around his back, the softness of her cheek, and the brush of hair he could feel tickling some parts of his face. Together, they bathed in each other's warmth and in complete tranquility at how they could finally prove to themselves that the other actually existed. That their feelings were actually pointing towards something that they did not make up.
He attempted to move his arms around her and pull her closer. But it was too late. All touch was gone. Only the soft sounds of sobbing could be heard from somewhere.
Comprehending everything that had just happened once again, intense anger suddenly engulfed him. So much he wanted to go back and tighten his hold on her and properly tell her how much he loved her. Tell her that he had been completely enamored by her right after their first meeting. He cursed how he helped that human boy up, and he cursed even louder at his whole situation. But as quickly as the emotion came, it dissipated. His mind was forced into calmness. All thoughts had slowed, with any destructive sentiments filtered away.
At least he was able to pass on the key message to her after the festival and before he was to actually disappear.
She understood it, didn't she?
Even without a mouth and a body that could support one, Gin could tell he was now smiling. It should have been enough. Even with their ephemeral love, he had concentrated all he had into that kiss, conceding as much as he could. How much he regretted to not be able to do it directly and on the place where she could return his kiss back. Notwithstanding this, he was still satisfied. He was satisfied that they were able to touch one another before he completely left. Nevertheless, even when he was satisfied enough, he knew that his disappearance would burden her forever. Just why couldn't their relationship be normal?
Her sobs continued to ruminate across the dimming forest. He tried to gather whatever was him closer towards her, comfort her somehow.
But his attempt failed. Instead of getting louder, her voice sounded even more distant. He was now leaving her, not the other way around like it used to be. He was not going to see her ever again either.
Soon enough, other sounds started to fill his hearing. Straining to hear more of it, he had found out it was his family. They were the other spirits that occupied the forest, and though they were not at all related to him, they had taken care of him as their own. They were all thanking her in his place, telling her how sad they felt, too.
Again, a pang of rage reached him before being forcefully dulled right after. Just why couldn't that dastard of a mountain god give him a chance to do all the apologising and thanking instead? He was in deep debt to these spirits, but he was not given any chance to properly thank them. What was the whole point in letting him live as a spirit when all he was ever going to do to everyone was sadden them? Might as well have left his spirit alone in his dying human body. Then he would not have to leave with all of his connections trying to pull him back, but with no apparent avail.
Despite this, he still felt deeply indebted to the mountain god. It was all because of him that he was able to see the beauty of the world, and life itself after meeting Hotaru. Again, though now only halfheartedly, he cursed the entity from bereaving her from him.
He was going to disappear, have parts of him disappear in the sky and other parts melt and evaporate in the different places of the forest. He hoped that he could have most of him lie in the places where he and her had frequently played at. This thought soon vanished along with the rest of his ability to think. With there no longer being anything else he could do besides dissolve, he capitulated, now giving to the feeling of light emptiness and peace.
Wind blew from somewhere, ready to bring him to the next world. He was nearly there. The feeling of concord had now almost completely encompassed him.
"You are now free," a deep regal voice said suddenly, only momentarily bringing him back from his feeling of nothing.
It was the same voice he had heard as a baby, some part of him said somehow. It was the mountain god.
"Thank you," he had somehow said back, assuming the entity's epitaph to be a final farewell.
The wind continued to push him up. He was ready to leave.
But then everything started to shake and before he knew it, he fell.
-~.x.X.x.~-
It was cold. Something felt slimy, and he felt stiff. Sounds of leaves rustling through the winds and a few birds chirping could be heard around him. Following that, the strong scent of dirt entered his mind. Instinctively, he opened his eyes slightly, curious to what was going on. After doing so, however, they were almost immediately weighed back down. He had no energy to move and no energy for proper cognitive abilities. Taking a deep breath, Gin closed his eyes once again, knowing that sleep would help rejuvenate him properly for the next time he woke up. But then it hit him.
Wasn't he supposed to be dead?
All sense of wariness now forgotten, Gin opened his eyes wide, but winced when the bright light of the sun had energetically greeted him. Blinking, he pulled his arms up to shield himself from the sun, ignoring the slight resistance they made when he bent his joints.
Squinting before making a few more blinks to accommodate his eyes to the light, Gin went to rub them from the dust of sleep that lay at the corners of his vision. Feeling dirt filling his eyes at first contact, he on reflex moved his hands back. Blinking even more until he could see, Gin gasped in realisation.
In front of him were his arms, and though he could not really see it, he could feel that the rest of his body was under a thin layer of dirt that seemed to slightly tilt downwards.
Gin took a moment to absorb this information, but soon enough, he started to look around to figure out where he was. This did not take long however, as when he saw the torii leading to a forest, his mind immediately made the connection to the entrance of the mountain.
'Was it all a dream?' was the first thought that appeared in his mind, but he crossed it out right after, as the thought was just too absurd to him. As he continued to gaze at his surroundings, his mind started to think of other possibilities, but as time moved on, it ended up with his first thought to be the most reasonable.
Absently thinking all was now well, Gin made his way to get up. Though the layer of dirt was thin, getting right out of it proved much harder as he thought.
Finally being able to pull one of his dirt covered legs out, Gin collapsed back onto the soil he had initially been lying on, panting from exhaustion. Why he was so tired already, he did not know. He was even too tired to actually attempt to figure out why. He could feel the sweat accumulate around his chest and face. It all felt weird to him. He was so tired that he could even hear his heart beat in his ears and a layer of heat start to cover the rest of his body. Heat… And then another realisation dawned him.
'Hotaru!' He opened his mouth to shout the name, but his voice refused to come out. His throat was dry and painful. Just what was wrong with him?
Gin's mind started to run through the events that, for him, happened only a few moments ago. He had left her and left everyone. Again the question to why he was still alive appeared in his mind.
After moments of immense thinking, panic started to engulf him, turning his breathing erratic. He could hear a slight rasp every deep breath he took, but he did not care. What was happening? Where is Hotaru. Where is everyone? Why am I here? All these questions appeared in his mind at once, and he could feel his arms flail around uncontrollably.
Then he felt something push his arms back down and shush his mind back to emptiness. Feeling the presence of someone else, his breathing slowly normalised itself. Opening the eyes he did not know he had closed, he was met with one of the spirits of the mountain he was very familiar with.
Gin made a weak smile and opened his mouth ready to ask what had happened. However, as if still not willing to comply with his wishes, his voice did not come out.
Seeing the agitation at his inability to speak through his facial expression, the spirit parted its lips to speak, knowing the questions he had for it. "You know," it started, making full eye contact with him to see his reaction, "we never fully discarded the body you had when you were a human."
Gin raised a sweat-covered eyebrow, completely confused at the spirit's roundabout answer. Seeing that he had properly heard it, the spirit continued. "As you continued to roam the forest, each of us had been giving bits of our spirit energy to the soulless body, hoping that it might once again be functional."
Something clicked in his mind, and now both of his eyebrows were raised. The spirit smiled. "You brought us life and happiness, and had made sure you followed our rules. Even the god of the mountain acknowledged your kindness and had aided us in supplying your body with energy."
The spirit let go of his arms to pat his head. "Seeing how happy you were with that girl and still restricting yourself from touching her made us all the more determined to revive your body. But then you were suddenly disappearing and we didn't know what to do. Oh, thank the mountain god for accepting our prayers to help us get you back!"
Gin raised his arm, but it fell back limply to his side, tired. He wanted to thank and hug his friend and everyone else that helped raised him. Of course he did not forget the overwhelming regret he felt as he was going to disappear. Determined, he tried to open his mouth again.
"Th-tha––" he managed weakly, before one of the spirits tentacles covered his mouth.
"Save it for later," it smiled, though now it had a little worried hint in its tone. "Sleep. Your body has not moved for years. You need to rest."
Gin then felt another one of its tentacles cover his eyes. Fatigue hit him right after he had made contact with the darkness, and almost immediately, he fell asleep.
PROLOGUE END
AN: Finally donneeeeee! I'm quite new to this archive so hope you guys liked this! I had actually planned to write this right after watching the movie, but then all sorts of things came up :P Please note that I made Gin a bit too emotional near the end purposely. Everything's just going everywhere for him at the moment.
As for the other explanations, I'll make sure to explain everything else during the next few chapters. I just hope I'll be able to have them stay in character during those times. Sigh, it's been a long while since I've last watched the movie. Now…
PLEASE REVIEW! REVIEWS ARE THE BEST INCENTIVES!
