Even Broken Hearts Can Mend [Avengers]
Trigger Warning for a panic attack. It's not too graphic though.
Wanda isn't sure what to think of being an Avenger. Her new life is so different from what she has learned- first on the streets of Sokovia, then as a Hydra experiment. But even during those hard times, she had always had her twin by her side.
She still misses Pietro terribly. It's like an ache inside her, an emptiness that never completely goes away.
She wakes screaming every night- having relived her brother's death again and again and again.
It gets so bad that sometimes she's afraid to sleep at night because she knows that her dreams offer no relief from her pain.
The others begin to notice her deteriorating condition, but Wanda tries to keep it hidden, tries to bury her grief and fear hidden deep beneath the surface, and throws herself into her training
So when Steve approaches her about it, to suggest that she maybe take some time off, she declines. The training is the only thing keeping her from completely falling apart, and she just can't let go of it.
But one day, a simple training exercise causes her to lose control.
The exercise is easy enough. They have to take out the automatons and make it to the other side of the roon.
She starts out well. She's able to take out the first few automatons no problem, but then one comes at her aiming a gun at her face.
It brings back all ther fear from the battle of Sokovia, all the pain of her brother's death and suddenly her chest tightens.
She stumbles, her breath coming out in tight gasps. She sinks to her knees, her ears buzzing, black creeping in at the edges of her vision.
She feels a hand on her shoulder and she lashes out in absolute panic, letting loose with a powerful blast that knocks Steve onto the ground.
That doesn't deter him, and her approaches her again helping her to her feet, and gently leading her out of the gym.
"Are you alright?" He asks. her gently. She shakes her head slightly, wrapping her arms around herself, shivering.
"Let's get you to the infirmary," he says, guiding her towards the elevator.
As she lies in bed at night, curled up in a ball, she realises that she does need to get away.
She picks up her phone and dials, holding the phone with trembling hands.
"Hello," she whispers down the line. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I need to ask a favour..."
"We're here," Clint says, gently shaking Wanda awake. She lifts her head from where it rests against the window.
He had come to pick her up after she had called him from the base,her voice shaky and afraid.
The make their way to the front porch, Clint stops and gets out of the car and heading for the door, while Wanda takes a look around.
The farm is wide and sprawling, surrounded by wide fields and forests. It looks just like the kind of place Pietro would like. The thought of him sent a wave of sadness over her, but she pushes it down, forces a smile on her face, and goes to say hello.
Wanda settles into a routine that's both comfortingly familiar and completely alien at the same time.
She grows close to Laura, who treats her like family, and they spend many nights talking and getting to know each other.
She also spends a fair amount of time with Cooper and Lila, and helps out on the farm where ever she can. She loves the animals, especially the horses. She even learns to horseride, and finds out that she is a natural at it
But she realises that she is absolutely horrible at archery. The first time she tries to shoot an arrow, it goes so far off the mark that it flies into the woods, and it takes her an hour to find it. The next time Clint offers to practice with her and the kids, she declines and decides to sit it out.
.
The days pass, and Wanda slowly starts to feel more at home, and more at peace with herself.
But then her birthday arrives, and with it her grief comes back in full force.
She and her brother always found a way to celebrate their birthday together, no matter what their circumstances or where they were. But now he's gone, and she's been left all alone
She doesn't inform the Bartons of the day because she doesn't want to even think about her birthday, doesn't want to celebrate without her twin.
.
The Bartons and Wanda are sitting around the kitchen table, eating their dinner. Wanda is quiet and picks at her food, having withdrawn into her head.
Cooper lets out a loud laugh, and Lila claps her hands with joy, the noise snapping Wanda back to attention.
"Everything okay?" Clint asks, concerned. Wanda nods feeling a lump in her throat.
The sight of the happy family brings back memories of a simpler time. It reminds her of how her family used to be before the bombing that had changed her life so completely. She misses her brother more than ever and it suddenly becomes all to much for her to bear.
She pushes her chair back and jumps to her feet. And then she is running. She flees from the room, ignoring Laura's concerned call. She leaves the house and flees into the woods.
She keeps going until she can run no further, and collapses in a silent heap on the ground, her body shaking with silent sobs.
She doesn't know how long she's been out there, but she feels someone's presence, someone who is searching for her.
Clint.
But she just stays where she is, not wanting to talk to anyone. But Clint sits down next to her, not saying anything.
Finally she speaks- "It's my birthday today," she says softly, her voice hollow and broken.
"And you miss your brother," It is a statement, not a question, but she nods miserably, tears welling in her eyes.
"I've never been apart from him for more than a few hours. But now he's gone forever. And- and I feel so alone" She starts crying the tears falling down her cheeks.
In this moment Clint doesn't see her as an Avenger or as a team mate. He just sees an frightened young woman, who is all alone in the world.
"It's alright," he soothes, moving closer to her. "We're here for you, Laura and I. You're part of our family now." He wraps his arms around her. "You are not alone"
Wanda decides to spend a few more weeks at the farm.
She had apologised to Laura for running. She explains what had happened and why she was so upset.
Laura immediately tells her not to worry, embracing her in a hug.
Wanda began to feel like maybe Clint had been right, that she wasn't completely alone.
Even when she returned to the base, she stayed in touch with both Clint and Laura, visiting the farm often and spending time with the entire family.
She doesn't have as many nightmares as before and starts to find her training easier and easier as time passes.
She isn't sure what to think of her new team mates.
She slowly begins to develop friendships with her other team mates.
She and Vision are often paired up during training as they are the most evenly matched, and they spend time together outside of training as well. She finds it easy to talk to him about her life before the Avengers, and especially about her brother.
She's there when baby Barton is born, waiting in the hospital room with Natasha.
She is shocked and a bit overwhelming when Laura places her son in her arms. She is extremely nervous, but holds him gently and rocks him back and forth.
"What's his name?" she asks.
"Nathaniel," Clint says. "Nathaniel Pietro Barton."
She smiles quietly to herself. The pain of her brother's loss was still within her but it was slowly and surely healing.
In that moment, looking down at her brother's namesake, she realises something. She was a part of something bigger than herself, and she finally had something to fight for. She decides to honour her brother's memory by fighting to protect the world, just like he would have wanted.
Hope you enjoyed it :) Please leave a review letting me know what you thought :)