Chapter One: Fresh Starts

There was no use to the blaring ring of the alarm clock. I was already wide awake - didn't sleep a wink at all last night. Maybe it was the caffeinated drinks I consumed the night before to give me energy to unpack and settle all of my belongings, but I inherently knew it was the prospect of starting my junior year at a new school that kept me awake. My curtains were drawn back, but that didn't matter it was still dark and gloomy outside. Forks, Washington always was. I stretched my hand across to my bedside table cutting off what reminded me of my day ahead.

I sluggishly pulled myself out of bed, and when I peaked out my window, I saw that Charlie's cruiser wasn't in the drive way. Thinking back to yesterday's reunion I felt embarrassed at how awkward it was. He was my father yet he was practically a complete stranger to me. Forgetting the fact that Renee had divorced him for a reason, he really was a nice guy. A couple of people from the neighborhood stopped by yesterday afternoon, and just from that I could tell he was well-liked and respected in Forks; that and the fact that he was responsible for giving me my very first car. The beaten-up Chevy parked humbly on the drive way was all mine because of Charlie, and for that I had to be thankful.

After a light breakfast of egg and toast, I hopped into a hot shower in hopes that it would touch up my probably haggard appearance from lack of sleep. With a bathrobe around my dripping wet body, I wiped away the hot steam off the mirror. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I looked like my normal self, tired and pale – someone who hasn't had a good night's sleep in months. A small glimmer of hope arose in me then as Renee's departing words came to mind.

"Think of this as a fresh new start" Renee, with a forced hopeful visage that told me she was really just praying and crossing her fingers that it would be. I hated myself when I saw tears welling in her eyes. I had given her hell for the past couple of months before I left Phoenix, and moving away was the last resort. She's only trying to be a good mother, I reminded myself. Maybe if I lived somewhere else, I could somehow erase what had happened… Then, I found myself lifting slightly the right sleeve of my bathrobe. At the small glimpse of purple and blue skin, I immediately pulled it back. No, I said out loud. I have to try; I'm going to try for Renee. Maybe even for Charlie. My face was distorted by the steamy residue left on the mirror, but I forced myself to smile. The biggest smile I could muster without my face and lips hurting.

I drove with my windows down despite the tiny pellets of rain starting to pour into the Chevy's interior. It was nice to breath in the fresh air of a new town, a new start. As I pulled into the parking lot of Forks High School, the nerves I thought were sequestered heightened dramatically. There they were - the student body of Forks High School. There weren't many of them in actuality, but the way they hoarded together like herds of animals made them seem so much larger. Nearly every space was occupied except for one. I was sandwiched between an average-looking Toyota Camry and a silver Volvo. It was embarrassing having my less than spectacular Chevy on display next to the glistening exterior of the Volvo, the black sheep of the entire lot of anticlimactic cars. Before I could decide to abandon parking all together a distinctive ring sounded, and the herd of teenagers flowed in a current, into their separate tributaries.

I walked with urgency in my step. I knew I was already late, but I was relieved to see that a scatter of students still lagged behind in the hallways. Some of them stared at me which I probably shouldn't have been caught off guard by. I responded with a small smile, but hurried away not really looking at their responses. I wanted to avoid making the 

typical new student entrance. Those were awkward and often called for an explanation and a follow up questionnaire. What was your town like? Do you like Forks better? Then I would either find a seat in the back and melt into obscurity for the rest of the semester if they didn't like me or I would be paired up with the most friendly (fake) group of girls who would dump me once they found out we had nothing in common. Either way, I would lose.

I had English first block. Followed by gym, biology, and the only class I hung on to as my one hope, Advanced Art. I had been scheduled into it when Charlie told my guidance counselor, Mrs. Carr that I was a "gifted artist" – I knew he had gotten this bit of information from Renee, but I was horrified when he pulled out a sheet of paper, obviously ripped from one of my sketchbooks and showed it to Mrs. Carr as evidential proof. I glowered at Charlie then, who only looked back at me with an apologetic face. Mrs. Carr stared at the sketch, unsure really what to make of it. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised, what I had drawn was difficult to look at let alone appreciate. It was a portrait of a monster, a portrait of me. But she didn't know that, no one did and I was glad for it. A moment passed, Mrs. Carr looked at my direction and nodded sweetly."Advanced Art it is," she chirped brightly ready to take the meeting to a different direction as she handed me back the rendering.

I didn't have much trouble finding my class. The departments were nicely organized, and I already had gotten a small tour from Mrs. Carr after she assigned me my classes. Before walking into Room 133, I heard a muffle of voices dull as a woman's piercing voice ordered everyone to settle down. They were waiting for me. I took a huge gulp of air then walked through the wood-framed door the linoleum floor squeaked with my heavy step. I tried to be subtle by making my walk lighter so that maybe I would go unnoticed. But the late bell rang just as I entered further drawing attention to me, the new kid.

The fluorescent lights beamed down on me and I stared at the mass of curious eyes. One particular pair coming from the back of the room glowed, and I diverted my attention towards them. They belonged to a bronze-haired boy, and I was terrified to see that he reciprocated my stare. His eyes were dark as ebony and stood out against the pallor of his skin. They pierced me with such an intensity that I honestly believed he could hear everything I was thinking. What a beautiful face was what immediately crossed the planes of my mind, because it really was so beautiful. At first glance, I processed a boyish face – beautifully and delicately crafted for sure, but once my gaze leveled the chiseled, architectural features set in: the angular jaw, lifted chin, aristocratic nose, eyes that framed a maturity far beyond a typical high school boy's. Beauty that could not be described by any human device, but by an ethereal other worldliness. He stared back at me too and my heart lowered into my stomach, because his eyes did not see the same in me. He looked completely repulsed, even enraged by me and I didn't understand. I realized then that all the surrounding desks were significantly farther away, he was an island unto himself.

I must have just stood there like a dummy, because Mrs. Kochevski (I soon found out her name) was suddenly at my side. She patted my arm, and turned me towards the class like I was a visual to a presentation. She smiled with her teeth and said, "Welcome to Forks High School. I am Mrs. Kochevski, and I will be your English 11 teacher. Please, tell us something about yourself" I was never one for an introduction, and I hated speaking in front of an audience, but I garnered my nerves and began with, "Hi, my name is Isabella Swan, but I go by Bella" I don't know why I paused then, its not like a round of applause would meet me. I lowered my eyes then, my words faltered slightly as I resumed, "I-I just moved here from Phoenix, Arizona yesterday, and uh Forks seems like a nice town." Blank stare to blank stare except for the one in the back – for that moment I wish I could read minds, because I had no idea what any of them were thinking. Mrs. Kochevski must have 

sensed the lull the room had gotten into, and led me to an empty desk next to a blond, curly haired girl.

The room began to teem with life again when Mrs. Kochevski momentarily had her back turned to the class. The blond girl adjacent to me turned on her side "Hi, my name is Jessica Stanley!" she said with an arm out waiting to be shook. I took it and smiled back at her. "What's your schedule?" she queried. I told her my entire day's plans, and her face lit up when I was done. "Wow! We have the exact same schedule except for last block. You can definitely sit with us at lunch." I looked to see that three other backs were turned towards my desk. I later learned their names: Mike Newton, Angela Weber, and Eric Yorkie. They all asked me questions about my former life in Phoenix as expected. Mike Newton seemed especially wowed by me and he constantly turned back to talk to me. To be honest, I found his overfriendliness annoying. I ventured a peek behind me, he was only three seats away, but I quickly reverted back when I saw how he glared back at me. Class began and seemed to go on forever. Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre was the current discussion, I had already studied it at Phoenix, but no one knew that and Mrs. Kochevski began her lecture.

"…And what, class, is one of the biggest struggles that Jane faces throughout the novel?" Mrs. Kochevski asked and a look of pure annoyance marked her face as the room quieted to a cricket. "Anyone?" she asked again. I thought about it and as a proactive move to prove I was truly beginning a new life, I decided to be audacious, and raised my hand. Mrs. Kochevski's craned her neck to where to sat, "Oh, Bella do you need something?" I shook my head no. She obviously didn't expect me to know anything about Jane Eyre. "I don't need anything. I just wanted to answer the question." The woman, perched on a desk with Jane Eyre on her lap, lifted her eyebrows with a look of pleasant surprise, "Alright then. Lets here it!" I began slowly, "Well, throughout the novel Jane is struggling with this internal conflict. She's fighting with herself all the time like she isn't sure whether to follow her heart or follow duty. She's always debasing herself thinking she's unworthy to everyone else." The atmosphere was still as everyone stared back at me, but Mrs. Kochevski smiled widely impressed, nodded and continued her lecture.

I didn't look back again for fear of meeting those same angry eyes. Once class was over, I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. I began to pick up my new textbook when a hand lowered down before me and swiped it. Mike's shiny, happy face greeted my probably bewildered countenance. "Can I walk you to class?" he said with such enthusiasm I couldn't turn down. Jessica's voice chimed in and she whispered quietly, "Did you check out Edward Cullen? What a hottie!" she practically melted in her spot. "Who is … Edward Cullen?" I whispered back. "Well, you probably didn't see him when you came in, but he sits in the back row over there (she pointed three seats behind my desk. I didn't look because I knew exactly who she pointed to) and OH is he totally hot and totally unavailable! But he's like a monk he never talks to girls, never looks at them either" I let the information sink in. So, my one-sided nemesis' name was Edward Cullen. "Well, can I take you to class, Bella?" I looked at a slightly peeved Mike, but my peripheral vision focused on a black blur race like light out of class, it was him, it was Edward. My attention trailed off as I pondered why he looked so repulsed by my presence. I mean, I did shower this morning so I didn't think I smelled bad. I took an ineffectual sniff on my long sleeved top, but Mike's pleading, puppy dog face made me concentrate on the present matter "Bella? What's your next class?" Mike practically had to yell to catch my attention. I nodded as I realized he was still there, "Gym, Mike. Let's go"

The day continued on like a blur, more introductions, and curious stares from other students. I couldn't keep my mind off the mystery of Edward Cullen. I hadn't seen him for the rest of the day so I assumed he wasn't in any of my other classes or in my lunch. I was 

relieved to find that Advanced Art was a very calm, relaxing class with only a handful of students. My art teacher, Mr. Marx, was a total hippie and he took to my reserved nature well - believing I possessed a "hidden grooviness that he was excited to unleash." He looked through one sketchbook I had at hand, and seemed very happy with it commenting every so often with adjectives like radical, killer, and of course groovy. When the class assignment called for us to "render our feelings onto paper" I immediately knew this was going to be my favorite class. I was never any good at expressing my feelings through words, but the medium of art was where I was safe and at home. I took some charcoal from a bin while others chose paint or pastel, and I began to shift and shape my hands all around the sheet of paper I was given. The door opened, and Mrs. Carr stepped in. She whispered inaudibly to Mr. Marx. All I could make out was "Edward Cullen" before Mr. Marx nodded cheerily, and Mrs. Carr left the room. I watched curiously as Mr. Marx went to his multi-colored, paint stained desk and wrote on what appeared to be an attendance book. So, was Edward in this class? I cleared my mind away from the idea of him, and reverted back to my drawing.

When the day was over, I was greeted again by the eager presence of Mike Newton who apparently had been waiting for me outside of my art class. I smiled at him, and we began to walk side by side he asked about my day so far. Then, when we were at the outer entrance adjacent to the parking lot, Mike stopped me, with an arm on my shoulder and asked, "Hey, can I give you a lift home?" I raised an eyebrow surprised by this sudden move, "Um thanks Mike, but I drive. I really appreciate it though" I managed to add before his face fell slightly. "Alright then, do you think I can have your number? Please?" he pressed after a moment. An alarm sounded in me, much like the one from this morning, except it awoke in me suspicion and paranoia. I felt ready to bolt. "What?" I croaked out through the heat rising in my chest. "Bella, I think you're a really nice girl. I want to get to know you. Maybe we can hang out at my place, watch a movie, and get to know each other a little more", he said this with such confidence believing he had me lured in. He lowered his hand down to my waist and drew me closer. I stared up at him in horror, not wanting to believe he was there. "Stay away from me," I muttered in a low huff. Instinct kicked in, and I pushed Mike's arm away. I felt hundreds of pairs of eyes bore into me as I stepped onto the gravel ground of the parking lot towards my truck.

I felt the blood rising to my face, my breathing becoming heavier, and I was overcome by a foreign sensation. It was like acid filling my eyes – a barren wasteland that hadn't tasted a drop of water for years. It was both a relief and an unwelcomed natural force. I hadn't cried since then, and I didn't want anyone in this new, stupid school seeing me in this crazy state; I fought nature back. I was ready to break into a run to escape the stares and whispers, but I restrained myself. I closed my eyes, balling my hands into fists, and murmured to myself. A new start, Bella - do this for Charlie and Renee. I managed to get to my truck without getting hit by any of the cars backing out. When I opened my eyes he was there, the owner of the beautiful silver Volvo. With eyes, still dark holes, that pierced into mine so coldly and viciously before this time trained on me with a different nature. There was a tinge of curiosity, bewilderment in them as he gripped tightly onto his leather steering wheel. It looked like he was ready to bolt, too. If I were feeling like my normal self, I would have been relieved by the change in his glance, but I was much too flustered. I disconnected from our eye contact, and climbed hurriedly into my truck. I quickly grabbed a blanket from the back seat, lowered my upper body down to my knees, drew my breath and pressed my face into the fleece material absorbing my screams.

The world had frozen in time then. I didn't hear anything to my right or left. Not the sound of the engine, or the wheels back out. And I thought I might have just imagined it all along, because when I managed to lift myself up, he was gone.