Dis: Obviously Twilight and Halo aren't mine.
A/N: Just a one-shot, featuring our favorite boys
In this fic, Jacob lives with the Cullens. They are all currently in his bedroom.
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"Emmett why the hell are you under my bed?" asked Jake looking at Emmett's butt (which was quite near his face) from his position on his bed
"Ahah, I knew it was here." said Emmett triumphantly re-emerging "And why were you ogling my butt?"
"Ewww, Emmett you're sick." Jake grimaced rolling onto his back
"Why do you have an old shoe box?" asked Jasper from where he was laying sprawled on the floor
"Do we even want to know?" remarked Edward from his chair by the window (without looking up from the book he was reading)
"Haha, you're hilarious." Emmett said rolling his eyes as he opened his 'treasure chest'
"Oh, Em, nasty." Edward gagged
"Playboy?" Jasper smirked
"What?" Emmett asked
"Why the hell was that under my bed?" asked Jake sitting up
"I couldn't keep them in my room. Rose'd hurt me." Emmett justified
"Dude, I want those out of my room now."ordered Jacob angrily "I don't want to know what'd happen if Nessie found those in here."
"Alright, alright, keep your human form." Emmett said as he left to stash his porn elsewhere
"Pervert." stated Jasper
"At least I'm not a pedophile, like Edward." Emmett countered coming back in the bedroom
"That make me a pedophile too?" Jake asked smirking
"I still haven't decided." Emmett replied
"You guys smell." Jake remarked
"So do you." stated Emmett
"Touche." Jake replied
"I'm going to kill myself." Jasper stated matter of factly
"Need any help Leech?" Jake asked politely
"No thanks pup, I'll do it myself." Jasper replied
"You guys need lives." Edward remarked
"Wuss." Emmett remarked
"At least I don't turn to pornography the moment my wife goes shopping." Edward countered
Emmett shrugged and turned to Jasper "Jasper likes it, don't you Jasper?"
"Girl." Jasper said insultingly
"Baby."
"Effeminate."
"Dork."
"Eunuch."
"...."
"Is that it, no more insults?" Jasper asked sweetly
"Are you questioning my man-hood." Emmett growled
"I just might be." Jasper replied smirking
"Well, well" Emmett floundered
"Have you lost the ability to speak coherently as well?" Jasper asked
Emmett settled for "I hate you."
"I love you too." Jasper replied
"Edward what are you reading?" asked Jake changing the subject
"A novel on the accomplishments of Ulysses S. Grant." Edward replied
"WHAT?" yelped Jasper jumping up grabbing the book
"Forbidden Lovers?" Jasper snickered
"Aw, Eddie, a romance novel?" Emmett smirked
"Bella's making me read it." Edward said defensively snatching the book back
"Yeah, we believe ya, Ed . . . NOT!" Jasper started laughing
"Is sex all you people think about?" asked Jake rolling his eyes
"No, we sometimes think about . . . cars, and sports!" Emmett said having to think about it a minute
"Hey Em, remember the time I bet you wouldn't-" Jasper was cut off by Jacob as he and Emmett were thrust from the room
"Good you got rid of the annoying people." Edward said once more engrossed in his book
"Edward, please leave."
"But, I'm almost your father-in-law." Edward protested
"Yes, but not yet, so please?" Jake begged
"Oh, fine, I need to try something anyway." Edward said as he left
"Finally, some peace and quiet." Jake said appreciatively
(five minutes later)
"Hey Jake wanna play Halo!?" Emmett yelled up the stairs
Jacob moaned to himself, then "Okay, but I get to have a bazooka."
"Yeah, yeah." Emmett called back
the end
So did you like it, hate it? Let me know, please review. I might do another if I get a good response.