Disclaimer The characters, some of the plot from Endgame and The Farther Shore series by Christie Golden, quotes, etc, etc, etc, belong to Paramount. Many thanks for letting me utilize them for my own creative use.

Summary A twist on Endgame. After Janeway's interference, Chakotay decides to switch time line again, not happy with the second result. J/C

PG-13 for language and angst

Parallel

Seven of Nine rolled over in bed, only to find that her husband wasn't there. Getting out of the thing sheets, she put on a silk bathrobe and opened the bedroom door. Silent feet treaded on the soft carpet in their cozy home in the South American sun. They had bought the home after Voyager's spectacular return from the Delta Quadrant through the Borg hub. During their twenty-six years here, Seven had learned to relax, to become so much more human. Those first few social encounters with other couples had been disastrous, but she was slowly adapting. Despite his best efforts, though, Seven had kept her Borg designation. It would always be a part of her, and he would just have to see through that.

She came into the kitchen to see him sitting on the table, despite the four matching chairs. With only a pair of boxers on, he had his head in his hands, sobbing quietly. Now comfortable with such a display of emotions, she joined him on the table, putting an arm around him and a head on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

He seemed indifferent to her presence. The sobbing continued, but she could just make out words in it.

"Dead…"

Who was dead? No one in any of their social circles was for sure.

"Who is it?" Seven asked in a softer voice.

"Captain…"

Mentally, Seven ran through the most recent database of Starfleet captains. He was already an admiral in the fleet, and was sure to associate with some of them, but none stuck out as possibly dead.

And then he stopped.

It was as if he suddenly realized something, something that could comfort him more than she, something that would take his pain away. He got up and returned to the bedroom. She sat there, waiting. Twenty minutes later, he came back in his Starfleet uniform.

"Where are you going?" He handed her his admiral's pips to attach as he pondered the query.

"I need to go talk with someone." He gave her a kiss, savoring it longer then usual. It wasn't like him to be so reluctant; he never had been. "I'll be back soon."

"Where are you going?" she called after him.

"Chakotay…"

"Come in." Kathryn Janeway watches as Chakotay walks through her ready room door, holding a PADD. Another report, no doubt.

"Morning, Captain. B'Elanna had another false alarm this morning." Janeway's coffee cup was abandoned halfway to her lips as she heard the news.

"When?"

"0400."

"How many false alarms does this make?" Chakotay smiled.
"Three, that we know of."

"That baby's as stubborn as her mother."

"Harry's starting a pool to see who can guess the actual date and time of birth." Janeway got up and circled to the upper tier of her ready room. She crossed her arms over her chest, pondering the baby's due date.

"Tell him to put me down for next Friday, 2300 hours. Anything else?"

"Crewman Chell's asked about taking over in the mess hall full time."

"Neelix left some pretty big pots and pans to fill. Does Mr. Chell think he's up to the challenge?"

"Apparently so. He's prepared a sample menu." Chakotay handed her a PADD.

"Plasma leek soup? Chicken warp core-don bleu?!"

"If his cooking's as bad as his puns, we're in trouble."

"Oh I don't know. I wouldn't mind giving his red alert chili a try. Feel like having lunch?"

"I'd love to but – " Chakotay was interrupted by the Captain's com badge.

"Captain, we have discovered what could quite possibly be the highest concentration of wormholes ever recorded, approximately three light years from here." Seven of Nine's voice was cool and collected as always. Chakotay's heart skipped a beat as he heard that woman's voice, but Janeway's sped up at the possibility of the wormholes. What if one of them lead to the Alpha Quadrant…?

"Understood, Seven. I'm on my way." She nodded to her first officer. "Looks like lunch may have to wait."

Chakotay was in his personal flyer, heading towards a small planet in Klingon space. He had hated leaving Seven like that – it had been six months now – but this needed to be done. For him. And…

For her.

He knew that she wouldn't have wanted him to do this. That he was being selfish. But then again, she wasn't around to give her input.

And it was his fault.

Chakotay's thoughts were interrupted by a transmission. He pressed a button, and Miral's face appeared on screen.

"Admiral Chakotay, always a pleasure to see you." The smile on her face was genuine, and it was such a reflection of B'Elanna that he felt a slight pain in his heart. Another person who should have stopped him. He forced a smile through.

"Ensign Paris. Where can I dock?"

"I'm transmitting co-ordinates now. You may go ahead and beam directly down." She flashed that haunting smile again and then cut the transmission. Making sure that his small shuttle would be safe, he beamed down into the House of Korath. The slight Ensign Miral Paris and two burly Klingons from Korath's house greeted Chakotay.

"Right this way Admiral." Miral began to lead him down a corridor.

"Sorry, but this is where we part ways."

"Excuse me?" Miral turned around and eyed her superior.

"You're dismissed, Ensign."

"Admiral, I really think that – "

"I can take care of myself."

"With all due respect, I've been working on this for six months and – "

"And you've done and exemplary job, but it's over, understood?" Miral lowered her eyes in defeat.

"Yes, sir."

"Take some leave. Go spend some time with your father; he's been anxious to see you. He's also been grieving again. Go comfort him." At the mention of Tom's problem, she retreated. Chakotay continued ahead with the two Klingons who led him into Korath's laboratory. Without turning around, Korath, who was working on a weapon, started talking.

"A Cardassian disrupter. I've modified it to emit a nadion pulse." Chakotay shivered slightly at the Cardassian weapon. How many times had he come up against one of those in battle, back before Voyager? Despite his glorious wins against the Cardassians, Chakotay still hated the sight of the weapon. He went ahead and lauded it all the same. He just needed what he came for, but he might as well make friends along the way.

"Impressive, but that's not what I've come for." Korath turned around, smiling his crooked smile.

"No. You've come for something far more dangerous." Korath turned as if to go get the device, and then stopped.

"However, this isn't something to be handed to just anyone. I noticed some modifications on your shuttlecraft." He turned to a display screen with the schematics. "Deployable armor. Very nice." He turned his grin back on Chakotay. "I'll require that as well."

Chakotay had expected something like this. Miral had forewarned him. Turning to go, he punched one of the two attendants waiting there right in the forehead, bringing a knee to his groin, effectively dropping him. The other rushed towards Chakotay, and he dropped to his knees, letting the Klingon trip right over him. Korath, still in shock, watched the entire thing. He became aware of the scenario when Chakotay lunged at him. He grabbed the Cardassian disrupter, but when he went to fire it at Chakotay, he realized that it was still not put back together, and it overloaded in his hands. Unfortunately, Chakotay absorbed some of the explosion, particularly his upper right arm. Not wanting to have Miral see what he had caused with him still at the scene, Chakotay slapped a tracer on the device and took off back to the shuttle, bleeding arm and all.

And when he tried to rip open subspace and fly through, the Klingons from Korath's House came after him.

On the bridge two days later, Janeway filled in the rest of the senior staff at the science station.

"Ladies and gentlemen, what we have here is the way home. Tom has gone out in the Delta Flyer and, with much luck, discovered that one aperture does lead to a point in space less than a light year from Earth. However, we've discovered that it's crawling with Borg. What we would be using is a Borg Hub. According to Seven, only six of them exist." She let the hand she was using to point out areas of interest fall. "A long time ago, I made a decision that stranded this crew in the Delta Quadrant. I don't regret that decision. But now I have a chance to somewhat rectify that for all of you. By going into this aperture, we will be aiding in the Borg by not destroying one of there greatest tactical advantages. However, I – " The sound of a klaxon interrupts Janeway. She turns to see Tuvok already at his station.

"It appears to be some sort of temporal rift, Captain."

"Is there anything there?"

"We can't tell at this time, Captain."

"I'll be in my Ready Room. Alert me if anything comes up."

Janeway went in and sat down, and then lay on her side. She was so tired, having been up the vast majority of the past two days, continuously looking for a way home.

Home…

She drifted asleep when she heard Tuvok over the intercom.

"Captain, I'm detecting nadion discharges on the other side of the rift."

"Weapons fire?" she asked.

"It's possible. The signature appears to be Klingon."

"I'll be right there." Without checking to see if she was presentable, Janeway strode onto her bridge.

"Red alert."

"Captain, a shuttle is coming through. It's Starfleet."

For a moment, Janeway's heart jumped into her throat. Had they finally found a way to get them home?

"Captain, the shuttle is hailing us." Harry called.

"On screen."

When Chakotay's face appeared, she could almost sense his amazement from his position next to her. She was also in awe. He had aged quite a bit. His hair now had strands of grey throughout, and he kept the hair worn just a slight bit longer, but not much.

And he was still incredibly handsome.

She was quickly jolted out of her thoughts by him.

"Recalibrate your deflector to emit an anti-tachyon pulse. You have to seal that rift." Janeway inhaled deeply. Every day just got weirder and weirder.

"It's usually considered polite to introduce yourself before you start giving orders."

"Captain, a Klingon vessel is coming through." Tuvok said in his soothing voice.

"Close the rift. In case you didn't notice, I outrank you, Captain. Now do it!"

Janeway nodded once to Tuvok, who recalibrated and fired. The rift closed. With that behind her, she turned to the stranger on the screen.

"Now, who the hell are you?" He smiled that familiar dimpled grin.

"I think you can answer that for yourself, Captain."

"Well, Admiral Chakotay, prepared to be beamed to sickbay for confirmation. We'll have your shuttle put in the hanger." He raised his hands in mock surrender.

"Fine by me."

"Captain, he is the commander, twenty-six years from now." The Doctor, having finished his tests, had called both her and Chakotay down here for the news. She was slightly surprised, although not too much. The more she tried to think about it and rationalize the whole ordeal, the bigger the headache, so surprise would suffice.

"Well, Doctor, will you release him to come to my Ready Room?" The Doctor nodded his permission and she left with both Chakotays. The ride to the bridge was an awkward one, each Chakotay slightly sizing up the other. When they finally reached the Ready Room doors, she stopped her first officer.

"You have the bridge, commander."

"But Captain – "

"That's an order." She shut the door in his face.

Janeway turned around and sized up the older Chakotay. He was a little bigger, but not much. That was expected though, when he was his age. And an Admiral. That means he stayed with Starfleet, made it home. But, what was home? Why was he here? She noticed that he had already taken up the position his younger self often did on the couch. For now, Janeway preferred to stay standing. She was in charge.

"Well, Admiral Chakotay, this is a surprise."

"I suppose it is."

"I'll get straight to the point: Where did you come from, and why are you here now?"

He chuckled.

"Actually, I'm here because of something you did. Well, something you will do."

"Really?" The question was tinged with an air of disbelief. This was starting to get a little surreal.

"You recently detected batch of apertures, and you saw that one leads to the Alpha Quadrant. Less than a light year from Earth, actually." He leaned forward, obviously expecting something from her.

"So, what? We get home much earlier than expected."

"Well, yes you do. That's where I come from. I'm from the future where you did take Voyager through, and you even collapsed the apertures as you did so. You returned to Earth against amazing odds. Voyager became celebrated, an icon for many." She circled the Ready Room and sat down next to him. Oh, how much it felt like sitting next to the real him!

"I still don't get what's wrong with this." She crossed her hands over her chest.

"Do you know how you made it back?" She shook her head. "That's where your future self comes in. The first time we made it back, we took the whole road home. I died, Seven died, Tuvok went crazy with a neurological disease he hasn't told you about yet. So your future self, bitter about it all, came back and told us how to go through the aperture and destroy it also. And now I've been living for twenty-six years with my wife."

"Wife?" Kathryn said hoarsely.

"Yes, wife. Seven, in fact."

It took a moment for Kathryn to recover from that shock. She blinked hard a few times, fighting back tears. Finally, she looked back at him, able to continue her questioning.

"Okay. I can live with that…"

"No. You can't."

She was surprised by his words. So he knew from the future that she liked him, but he should know her well enough that she wouldn't let that relationship interfere with her life…Kathryn heard him still speaking in the background.

"…no Kathryn. You really can't live like that."

She looked up, angry and confused.

"What do you mean? Of course I can!"

"No. No, you can't. Thirteen years after we arrive back on Earth, and I'm already married to Seven. You refuse to come near our home; you won't talk to either of us. The only way I kept up with your activities was with Tuvok. He told me of your teachings at the Academy, but he also told me of your Spartan life style. You wouldn't go out anymore, not even with him. You became a recluse, Kathryn, you shut everyone out of your life. And then, just before you're sixtieth birthday party that the remaining crew had gotten together to throw for you, we found out you were dead." A small gasp escaped her lips. "And it wasn't just some accident. You killed yourself." He held up a hand. "All we know is that you had my picture with you, and everyone knew why. I absolutely refuse to go through the rest of the details. It was hard enough for me to do it once. You know how many people from our family had already died? B'Elanna died on Borath looking for her mother; Tom started to grieve fiercely at the death of his beloved. Icheb was expelled from the Academy; he got into a fist fight with someone about his Borg heritage. The Doctor's program was limited; he was allowed to retain everything he already knew, but he couldn't learn more. Harry and Tuvok did all right, which takes us back to me and Seven." He sat forward, coughing. "Well, things started out all right. She would make an excellent wife…to someone else. She favors routine, and I'm an adventurer. I realized, too late, that I needed you, that you were the kind of person who could actually fulfill me, and who I could actually enjoy, not put up with."

Tears were streaming down Kathryn's face. All that had happened, because of her tampering with the Temporal Prime Directive! No matter how hard she tried to do the best for her crew and uphold Starfleet's values, she just couldn't balance it. And on top of all that, the life she had always wanted to live…

"Chakotay, what do you want me to do about it?"

"Blow up the apertures; it'll hurt the Borg for a while, and will actually keep them out of your way more than once. The continue on for home. By my calculations, you'll lose less people, and we'll never have to go through this again." He smiled and Kathryn nearly melted. She would not let that handsome face get in the way of this, but she couldn't help it.

"But what about…us?"

Chakotay stroked her cheek. The hand smelled of him, although the touch was slightly clumsier than his younger self. He leaned forward as if to kiss her, and then stopped and retracted his hand.

"Well, Kathryn Janeway, you'll have to do that yourself. I'm not going to ruin it." He winked. It was so…grandfatherly, and she realized how right he was. He got up to go.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving, Kathryn." He held her hand once more. "Just, try and do this for me. Do it right. Don't let protocol get in the way. Starfleet isn't quite the group of bureaucrats you think they are. They'll be okay with…us."

He laid her down on the couch, letting her think it over, crying silently. She shut her eyes for a moment, and then reopened them. The world looked so much clearer now. Stepping onto the bridge, she greeted the younger Chakotay.

"Tuvok, have you seen the Admiral?" He looked at Chakotay for a moment, brows furrowed.

"I'm afraid I'm unaware we had an Admiral on board, Captain."

"Tuvok, I'm talking about Admiral Chakotay. Where is he?"

"Captain, there is no Admiral Chakotay on board, only the commander."

"But I – " Chakotay put a hand on her shoulder.

"Perhaps we should get you down to sickbay."

"But – "

"Come on." With his hand on her, he guided her to the turbo lift and then to sickbay, where the Doctor immediately procured a tricorder. The Captain coming in without being called was never good. He was already done scanning her when she reached the bio bed.

"What are her conditions?" Chakotay looked at her, and started talking. Now they would both think she was crazy, and end up confined to quarters.

"She believed there was an Admiral Chakotay onboard." The Doctor glanced at Kathryn for her version of the story.

"Doctor, when the temporal rift opened, a shuttle from twenty-six years in the future with an Admiral Chakotay in it. You scanned him and proclaimed him the same man. And I talked to him…he told me of the future." He face took on a wistful look. "So many people died…so many, every time. You died once, and I did too. So many people…" She laid back. The Doctor pulled Chakotay aside.

"Commander, would you mind leading her on a vision quest? Under normal circumstances, I'd request Tuvok for a mind meld, but because you seem to be at the center of all this, I'd rather you help her out." Chakotay nodded, and then took the Captain to his quarters. Unfolding everything, he directed her on how to proceed on the vision quest with his guidance in her mind. He wouldn't be in control, but Chakotay would be able to observe any danger or reason behind the madness.

Placing hands on top of each others, she induced the vision. Chakotay felt himself being pulled into herself; a true out of body experience. She sat in her Ready Room, drinking coffee out of her favorite cup. Chakotay was start to doubt whether this would be of any use when the door chimed.

"Come in." she said.

An older version of himself entered, wearing an alien yet familiar uniform. He could sense himself in the room.

"Ah, Chakotay, so you have come to join us. Greetings." He then focused on the Captain, who was still unaware of him there, despite the fact that she knew in the physical world. Looking back up at him, the elder Chakotay took on an amused stance.

"Young one, you know how much you feel for her. And she for you." Janeway smiled innocently and blushed slightly.

"Are we talking about Chakotay? He is handsome. If it weren't for those rules and regulations…" she trailed off, leaving Chakotay wondering what she would have said. The older Chakotay focused on her again.

"But what did I tell you last time, Kathryn?"

"To forget about those."

"And what else?"

"Don't use the aperture; instead, blow it up. More harm than good will come from going back now."

"And why is that?"

"Because," she lowered her eyes, ashamed. "I killed myself, because I couldn't have him. And all those others that died…" she started to weep.

Chakotay had never heard such raw emotion in her voice, and was suddenly afraid of being in here, witnessing it. The Admiral looked up at him, disembodied, floating.

"Good luck, Chakotay."

And through the crying, Kathryn swiftly saw him there. The shock threw her out of the vision quest, and she sat cross legged on the ground, letting tears dry on her face. Chakotay rose and swiftly checked his console, routing and rerouting systems to his command. Punching in the information, Chakotay discovered what he had expected: a cloaked Starfleet ship nearby, with his bio readings in it. He had come through that rift, and had used a vision quest of some sorts to tap into Kathryn's mind. Chakotay was about to alert the bridge to catch the shuttle, and then stopped himself. He knew that he wouldn't want to be caught, that his mission was done. Turning back, he saw the Captain still sitting there.

"Captain…?" It was a moment before she responded.

"Chakotay…you didn't need to hear that."

"I…I'm sorry."

"No. I'm sorry." She stood and faced him, determination all over her face. "I'm sorry for leading you around, toying with your feelings. You've made it quite clear for me that you're unhappy, or, will be, with Seven. Admiral Chakotay thinks we stand a chance. I happen to know so." Tentatively, she reached up and kissed him, and then took him for all he was worth, silently thanking her and his future selves.