How Much More
Her head was pounding with the sound of drum and bass music, despite already leaving the club. The taste of tequila and vodka swirled around her mouth as she let out a cry of excitement, causing her power to engulf a nearby bench and send it splintering into thousands of pieces. She'd kissed her! Ella had kissed her, announcing to the public that they were together. Raven started to spin around with delight, her face turning a light shade of green. She adruptly stopped, clasped her shaking hand to her mouth and ran towards the bin outside of 'Bar 46', throwing up the liquid contents of her stomach.
As her head left the bin, a crowd of rowdy young adults cheered and ruffled her hair. In the past, this action would have made her angry and sent a spear of energy at their heads. Tonight: she didn't give a damn. She was happy!
Noticing the time, she went to levitate back towards the Titans Tower. However, her stomach started doing somersaults at the idea of being airborne; she clumsily landed on her feet which were housed in a pair of six inch, black wedges and started to walk home.
Robin, being the highly skilled detective that he is, didn't miss the sound of the tower front door closing. This was the third night in a row that he had stayed up all night to observe Raven's behaviour. Luckily, she had been too drunk to notice him sitting low on the sofa this week. Tonight, or rather this morning, was no exception. Unluckily for him, he had to watch her struggle to the fridge to get the water that would aide her morning hangover. He inwardly winced when she fell against the corner of the kitchen worktop, knowing it would bruise in a few hours. Raven hadn't seemed to notice as her head was swaying in time with imaginary music.
He was worried. Since the whole team had grown into young adults, they had all done more partying in recent months. But Raven had always been the sensible, reclusive Titan and didn't overindulge in alcohol. However, she'd been sneaking out all week to party and it was concerning for him. Raven was his second in command, and more importantly his friend so he didn't feel guilty for spying on her post-party rituals. As leader, it was his job to ensure his teammates were always prepared, physically and mentally, for battles with whichever villain stupidly decided to target the innocent citizens of Jump City.
But then why was he cowardly hiding on the sofa instead of confronting the dark sorceress?
He was distracted from his thoughts by the sound of glass breaking. On alert, he popped his head up to witness Raven clumsily picking up shards of the glass that had held her water not moments before. Blood circulated to the surface of her cut skin. Robin couldn't stand seeing her so vulnerable; an oxymoron to her normal, sober self.
"You've hurt yourself," he stated matter-of-factly, delicately taking her hand before grabbing a wet cloth and cleaning the wound. It wasn't deep, just a result of her carelessness and lack of control.
"Robin? What are you doing up at-", she looked at her watch, "-3am? You should be asleep!" Raven let forth a giggle.
Robin couldn't help but smile at hearing her laugh; it was one of the rarest sounds in the world.
"And what about you, Miss 'second-in-command'?"
Raven giggled some more, watching intently as Robin wiped the wound with a dry towel. "I should be with Ella."
'Ella? Raven's never mentioned her before…'
He started to pull a large plaster out of his utility belt to protect her hand, when suddenly it glowed a light blue. Raven waved her hand in his face while flexing her fingers to show that she'd healed the minor injury.
"Great, one less thing to worry about," Robin muttered.
"What else is there to worry about?"
"You."
Raven tried to keep a straight face as her leader gave her a hand up from the kitchen floor and guided her to the sofa. As he went to get her another glass of water, she spotted a notebook on the furthest sofa cushion. The upturned page housed notes about her. She tried to read them but could only make out certain words; the rest were blurry and dancing around the page. The words giving her a headache, she rubbed her temples. A tap on her shoulder refocused her attention.
Handing her the water, Robin noticed his notebook. Judging by the fact that Raven didn't have dark energy flowing from her, he assumed that either she was too drunk to be angry that he was spying on her or she didn't read it.
"Raven, I'm worried about you. This is the third night in a row that you've stayed out into the early hours of the morning and coming back alone, drunk. Is there something I should know?"
Raven was silent for a good twenty seconds before staring Robin directly in the eyes of his mask. Her violent orbs were swimming but the piercing look she was giving him sent a shiver down his spine.
"You should know that my personal life is my business and as long as my social life doesn't affect my ability to battle, then you have no right to let yourself into it!"
He couldn't fault her there. Her recent performance in battle had been impeccable; she had greater control over her powers and emotions; she was making a greater effort with Starfire, Cyborg and Beast Boy as well as himself. She was still reclusive occasionally, taking time to read or meditate but all of Titan's had their own hobbies during their down time.
"You're right, you've been nothing but exceptional recently, but this behaviour is just so unlike-"
"Good ol' depressive Raven! The dark half-demon who likes nothing more than the company of her spellbooks and lavender candles. The Titan who the others have to tread on egg-shells with. The young adult who is finally having fun and letting her guard down!"
"That's not what I was going to say and you know it, so don't put words in my mouth!"
"You were practically thinking it! The boys went out twice last week to 'Rubies' but I bet you haven't got a whole fucking notebook full of notes about their escapades!"
Robin hid the shock at hearing Raven swear. In the six years they'd lived together in the tower, he'd never heard an expletive leave her pale lips. She was the most composed Titan in that respect. He processed everything he'd just heard and had to admit that she had a point. Why was he targeting her? Her voice continued.
"I know I was never the most social teenager, but now that my father's influence has gone and we've all grown up, I'm taking the time to enjoy the life I never got to have. I mean, I love you guys and being in the tower but out there, it's a whole other level. I've made new friends who don't consider me the dark, unsociable demon. I'm finally the fun one!"
"Fun doesn't have to mean mixing drinks and Downing shots, Raven."
"I know it doesn't!" she argued, staring down at her lap. "Ella and the others don't have any expectations of me. They only know this new side of me and its refreshing."
"Who's Ella?"
"My girlfriend," Raven whispered, admitting it out loud for the first time to someone on the team. Her new group of friends all knew since that evening when Ella publically kissed her and asked her if she'd like to be official. Raven had been seeing her for a couple of weeks on their own; it was just this week that Ella wanted to introduce Raven to her friends, and it just so happened that her friends loved drinking and clubbing. Not every night was a heavy one, but Raven was still learning her limits and when she was having fun being 'normal', those limits sometimes took a back seat. Luckily, due to her ability to heal, the excessive amounts of alcohol and the effects left her body by the time she woke up. After the confession, she finally looked up from her lap.
If Robin was surprised by the fact she was dating a woman, he didn't show it.
"You'll have to introduce us sometime," Robin smiled, giving Raven's hand a squeeze. Raven returned his grin with a small smile of her own to hide her shock of not being lectured about the stability of the team or the press getting hold of the story and a possible scandal being created; not all of Jump City's citizens supported homosexuality.
"Does she know you're a Titan?" Robin enquired.
Raven nodded in reply, promising her leader that Ella had sworn she'd keep her secret identity to herself. She relaxed into the comforting arms of the sofa, describing how they had met at the café after the brunette had spilt boiling hot coffee all over Raven on her hurry to get to class. She was an architect student at JCU, specialising in weatherproof buildings after losing her father as a child when their home collapsed during an earthquake.
Robin listened intently to Raven talk about the new woman in her life and couldn't help but feel warmed by the smile she exuded while she chatted away. Some of her words were slightly slurred due to the alcohol, but otherwise she glowed. It was nice knowing that she had found happiness, but it bothered him that she'd never found that with the team, her oldest friends and only family for the last six years.
After she'd finished, she got out her communicator and showed Robin a photograph she'd taken that night of Ella. Robin was amazed at her beauty: shoulder length brown hair bounced around her face; a black dress modestly covered her assets while also proudly displaying a tattoo of flowers and birds sitting on her shoulder; white teeth shone behind lipstick-coated lips while dark brown eyes stared lovingly at who was behind the camera.
Raven could see behind Robin's smile. The bond that had been created after he had ingested Slade's powder was stronger than ever and as a result, she could feel his disappointment and upset.
"I know it's unexpected and you might not have guessed that I'm attracted to women, but-"
"Raven, I am honestly very happy for you. As long as she treats you with respect then I have no reason to get involved. It's just that I've never seen you so happy when talking about someone, not even us before you banished Trigon. I don't know, I'm just a bit hurt that we've never got that reaction out of you."
Gasping, she instantly thought of her other companions. Beast Boy, while extremely annoying at times, was very protective of her and always wanted to make her laugh. Starfire may not have the same interests that she did but Raven still enjoyed her company. She liked teaching her about Earth's customs, understanding how difficult it was to adjust to the culture after coming from Azarath. Cyborg always made sure she was included in whatever was happening in the tower and had her back at all times. Finally, Robin was the one person who could see the best she had to offer and gave her the confidence to believe it. Without them, she wouldn't be alive today and the world they sacrificed their time to protect would resemble hell.
"You, Starfire, Beast Boy and Cyborg are the family I never had and you all mean the world to me. When we were younger I couldn't outwardly show you how much I appreciated you otherwise my powers would go haywire. After Trigon I did my best to show my love for you, and I'm sorry if that still isn't apparent. Ella makes me very happy, but she will never mean more to me than you and the others, Robin. You know that."
The alcohol must have still been affecting her, Robin thought, as she reaching over and gave him a hug; the first one since the 'end-of-the-world' two years prior. He embraced his friend for a while longer before instinct told them both to separate and give each other their personal space.
"I'm still concerned about the drinking though, Rae. I don't want you getting hurt."
"I can heal myself. I can handle myself. I'm always out with other people. The effects wear off by the time I wake up. I understand that I have responsibility as a Titan to uphold a respectful image; I'm not about to ruin that after six years of trying to get the public onside with my demon heritage," she listed off, predicting every argument Robin would give that she'd have to counter.
"I know you're responsible, but I've been watching you and-" he grabbed the notebook with his observations of her while under the influence, "- you have fallen over many times; on Tuesday morning you left the stove on after unsuccessfully cooking pancakes; last night you teleported into the gym instead of your bedroom and I found you asleep next to the punching bag! Not to mention the vomit I had to clean up outside the front door."
Raven blushed, embarrassed at the epiphanies Robin was bringing to light. Robin could sense that she was ashamed.
"I trust you Raven, you know that, and you know I have no control over how you choose to spend your time outside of the team. I've only been watching you because I care about you and the others and because this behaviour is something I've never seen from you before, I was just concerned. I'm sorry; I know that feeds into the whole argument that you're introverted."
"I do appreciate the concern. If it was the other way around, I'd be outside the club watching over you, or the others. I'm just having fun."
"Well, maybe we could all come with you one night to wherever it is you go and meet Ella and her friends. I'm sure she's great; you're a good judge of character," Robin smirked, getting up from the sofa.
"I'd like that," Raven replied, also propelling herself from her seated position. Unfortunately, her legs had gone stiff from sitting for so long and she lost her balance. Heading for the floor, Robin looped his arm around her waist and pulled her close.
"I'm not still drunk," she promised reassuringly. "My legs are just numb. Dancing for hours then sitting hasn't done them any good!" She stretched her left leg up and twisted her foot.
Robin smirked, "You dance?" She lightly punched his arm in retort before leaving his hold.
"Damn well. Goodnight, Robin."
"Good morning you mean, it is four a.m."
"Alright, smart-ass. Good morning." She walked slowly through the common room door to the dormitory level of the tower, leaving Robin to his thoughts. He wandered over to the kitchen and began picking up the discarded shards of glass, but not before throwing the notebook he was clutching into the bin. When he was done, he decided there was no point in going to sleep when he'd be woken up in a few hours by Beast Boy and Cyborg arguing over breakfast. Instead he turned on the oversize TV, ensuring the volume was low enough not to disturb anyone, and flickered through the channels until something caught his eye: a nature documentary about wild birds and how, during the winter months, they stay together in their flock before migrating to an unfamiliar yet warmer place.