AN: So just another One-shot that I thought of when looking through my CD collection. The song is A Blank sheet of Paper by Tim McGraw.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the show nor the song.
Blank Sheet of Paper
I'm just a blank sheet of paper
This fool's about to write you a letter
To tell you that he's sorry
For the way he did you wrong
To ask for your forgiveness
For leavin you alone
Tristan sat on his bed at military school. It was his third week there. And tonight was no different than any other night he had spent there. He had been contemplating writing a letter to Rory. His views had started to change and he wanted her forgiveness. He wasn't sure what for, but he needed it. Maybe it was for walking out on the play. Maybe it was for making fun of her boyfriend. Maybe it was for the nickname or all the times he teased her. Maybe it was for leaving her and never kissing her goodbye. That seemed like the best reason. Or was it for telling her he wanted to kiss her goodbye. Tristan didn't know what he was sorry about, but he knew he should be for something. And if he knew what that something was, it would be so much easier to write this letter.
He's been lookin down at me
It seems like forever
He takes the top on and off his pen
It's like he can't decide
What he wants to say
If he'd just tell the truth
I'd be on my way
Tristan had been trying to write this letter for 3 weeks since he got to the school. For three whole weeks, that was twenty-one days. Twenty-one nights of trying to figure out what to say. He'd never been a journalist or a writer as Rory had been. He'd never be able to write a masterpiece, but he was going to try. But what was he trying for? He didn't even know what to say, or why he was writing. He clicked his pen out and put his hand to the page. He should just write that he didn't know why he was writing, that he just was. And that he wanted her forgiveness and he didn't know why. No, he couldn't write that. It sounded too cliché. He clicked his pen in, and took his hand off the page. He couldn't write that. She'd think he was insane. Tristan sighed, maybe he could put it off for another night, but each night he did, it made it harder and harder to write.
But he just stares at me
And I just stare at him
He don't know where to start
To say he doesn't want it to end
Now its one hour later
And I'm still a blank sheet of paper
Tristan stared at the paper willing for the words to come. He'd never had so much trouble writing a letter before in his life. Not that he had written many letters before. What was he expecting from her? Her to write back to him, professing her love for him? Like that was going to happen. He wanted to be back at Chilton. He wanted to talk to her to figure our where they stood. Did she hat him? Tristan hoped not. He wanted something from her, at least he thought so. He wanted, he didn't know what he wanted anymore. Everything sounded cliché and cheesy, and something he would never say. She probably would never even read the letter. She'd just throw it away or burn it or something to that degree. So why couldn't he just write anything and everything down? That was due to the small and huge chance that she actually read the letter.
The sunlight is comin through the curtains
He's almost asleep pen in hand
There's a tear in his eye
That refuses to fall
If it would land on me
That would say it all
Tristan began to drift off. He needed sleep; he would be up the next morning at dawn. He just had to write this letter, but what was the fire under him that told him to write? He'd come to that question again; why, why did he have to write this letter? What was so important about it? And if it was so important to write, why couldn't he write it? Why was Rory so different? Why was she so important? Why was she so special to him? If he could answer that he could write the letter. But he couldn't do either. He just kept staring at the paper in front of him, wishing those magical words were coming, the ones he couldn't grasp on to.
But he just stares at me
And I just stare at him
He don't know where to start
To say he doesn't want it to end
Now it's four hours later
And I'm still a blank sheet of paper
The paper was mocking him, teasing him that he couldn't write this letter. Like he wasn't able to so that made him laughable. Not many of the other guys at the school wrote letters. Most didn't have family or friends to write to or just didn't like the outside world. The latter was understandable. The outside world was complicated unlike the world in here. The outside world was harder. In here it was just physical boundaries that stopped you. In the outside world there were physical boundaries, but also emotional and social and moral boundaries that stopped you. And none of those Tristan was very good at dealing with. Maybe it was just best to let everything go. He could move on and totally forget about Rory Gilmore and Chilton. Yeah, right, like that was going to happen.
Oh but he just stares at me
And I just stare at him
He don't know where to start
To say he wants you back again
One broken heart later
And I'm still a blank sheet of paper
Tristan needed to let it go. Just try for the rest of his life to avoid Hartford, avoid Stars Hollow, avoid the whole state of Connecticut. Why was it that he want to avoid these places? Did Rory have that much impact on him? Had she found a way to chip away at his guarded heart or had she simply chipped away at his ego? Or was it both? She was the one person who wouldn't fall at his feet. How did that make her so important to him? Yes, she had been different, but different wasn't the same as special. Tristan put down the piece of paper and his pen. He'd come back to it the next night. Then maybe he'd be able to write or be able to break the cycle of trying to write the letter. Tonight wasn't that night, so it was time to go to sleep and once again try to forget Rory Gilmore and hope and pray she didn't show up in his dreams.
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AN: So there it is, leave a review if you like. I like this one and if you do too, you can try to convince me to write some more on it in a sequel and you might find out how it might have played out if it would have been continued, if not I don't really care and it will just stay a one-shot as is.