The Logic of the Mistletoe

By Asso

Is there some logic in kissing under the mistletoe?

Let's see what T'Pol thinks.

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"Come on, T'Pol. Small. Really."

"Trip…"

"A little kiss, just a peck. Very small."

"Trip..."

"At the end of the day, what do I ask you? Nothing else than a small kiss. Okay, we are not alone, but, believe me, nobody will pay attention. Well, maybe a little, I admit. But, T'Pol, let's be honest, everyone knows and, in the bargain, here there is no Vulcan besides you. Oh Come on, T'Pol, it is only a small tear to the vulcan etiquette."

"Small, Trip?"

"Small. Just a small exception to the vulcan behavioural protocol to honour a small and very gentle human tradition. That's it. A tradition that brings luck."

"Luck is a false concept, Trip, typical of Humans. It is not of luck that you have to speak, but of randomness."

"Okay, okay. Let's say that was a randomness and not a luck that you have met me."

"I beg your pardon, Trip. Are you talking about what you call good luck or are you speaking of what you define bad luck?"

"Have you been unlucky to meet me, T'Pol? It was a… deplorable randomness?"

"Not a few vulcan women, in my place, would be led to ask themselves this question."

"And you? Are you led to do so?"

"There are some occasions when it would be illogical to deny that I am induced to wonder about such a matter."

"Ah thanks. A lot. And this, is it one of those occasions?"

"I cannot say that it can't apparently appear so."

"Only because I have asked you to be so kind to comply with a fine human tradition? An innocent and dainty tradition. Sweet."

"Indirectly."

"What does that mean, indirectly?"

"The problem is not the observance of this tradition. If what you call luck has decided that I have to stay with you..."

"So, it was not you to decide. It has been luck, Oh, pardon. Randomness."

"…and if I decided that it was logical for me to give ear, to put it in your words, to the luck or to the randomness, as you prefer..."

"Ah, good. I was beginning to be a wee bit worried."

"...it is also logical for me, considering that our peculiar situation can't but bring us to share each other's beliefs and traditions, being in agreement in complying with the traditions of the Humans exactly like you agree, this must be acknowledged, to comply to those of the Vulcans."

"Oh, well. But then, why don't you want to give me that small kiss under the mistletoe?"

"Trip, if this tradition must be respected, it is illogical not to respect it fully, in the most appropriate and correct way. For real, just the way it requires. Logically, in a word."

"Which means?"

"When will you learn to listen with discernment?"

"Hey!"

"See to open well your ears, as you would say, at least now."

"T'Pol! Do not..."

"When, by trying with difficulty to insert myself in your usual stream of wordiness, I have asked you 'Small, Trip?', certainly I was expressing my disapproval, as you rightly noted."

"Okay. So what?"

"But I wasn't referring to the scope of the tear to the vulcan etiquette."

"Ah no?"

"No."

"And what the hell..."

"I was referring to the kiss."

"H… huh?"

"The kiss must be anything but small, Trip."

"Anyt…"

"It must be big."

"B…"

"Big. Very, very big."

"B… big!"

"Exactly. The bigger the kiss, the greater the luck. Am I wrong?"

"Oh… oh… no, no! But… but you…"

"And then, do you really think that a small kiss can really reflect what there is between us? Quite frankly, a kiss of this kind would be totally unrepresentative, and, consequently, illogical to be performed. The logic of the mistletoe, to speak figuratively, just as you love to do, would come out totally disregarded. And that would be unfair, besides illogical."

"Oh... oh yes, of course. Nat... naturally. Certainly. But... but..."

"But what?"

"Ho… ho… how…?"

"How? The most logical way to show you 'how', it is to proceed with a tangible demonstration."

"Tang… tang…"

"Thing I do immediately, without further illogical delay."

"Oh my God!"

"Here's how, Ashayam."

The End

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Mh ... what do you think, my friends?

Is there any chance that Trip may appreciate the mistletoe logic of T'Pol?