Sick Day

By the Idiosyncratic Wordsmith

"Jaaade… Jaaaaaaade…" Karkat moaned out through the congestion in his chest.

"Whaaat…" Jade moaned back.

"I think you got me human-sick… somehow you managed to spread your filthy disease over the species barrier… good fucking job…" He groaned out.

That was the way the day started for Karkat and Jade. They had been dating for a while, and Jade had fallen ill the day before with a bad cold. Karkat, being the fussy romantic he was, came over to her place and brought her over to his own house to take care of her for the day, spending all his time cuddled up to her. Whenever she warned him about the fact that colds were contagious, he merely waved it off. Human diseases can't infect trolls, he said. They're two wildly different biological makeups, he said.

What he didn't account for is the fact that the common cold is easily the most virulent motherfucker in all of paradox space.

So, when he woke up that morning, such was the dialogue between them. Mucus was backed up into their sinuses, they were shivering, their coughs had a nasty hack to them, and they were both physically and mentally tired but completely sick of sleeping. They spent a few hours in bed together, but it wasn't long until their stomachs were growling and they desperately had to get out and just do something. Obviously, the first thing to do would be to make a healthy, hearty breakfast. The problem was, who was going to go do it?

Karkat was the first to start lurching out, but Jade sat up as soon as he was out of the bed.

"What are you doing?" She snivelled out from her flushed, sickly face.

"I'm going to make breakfast." He stated simply, going to walk out of the room and towards the kitchen.

"You're sick, Karkat. Here, I'll make breakfast." She declared, rolling out of bed slowly. Karkat turned around in the doorway and slid his arms around her waist, looking at her. They were almost even in height, though Karkat had perhaps a few centimeters on her. She looked almost painfully cute like this, hair all a mess, eyes groggy, brow furrowed tiredly. A part of him just wanted to kiss her right then and there, but he restrained that desire, knowing that two sick kids swapping spit was considerably less attractive than two healthy kids doing so. Instead, he focused on taking care of his woman.

"Jade, go lay down, I'll take care of it." He insisted. She sniffled, shoving the runny snot of her nose back to the abyss from whence it came.

"No." She responded simply, planting her arms tiredly on his shoulders, crooking them slightly to loosely wrap them around his neck. "I'm not gonna laze around while you fuss over me while you're sick, too." She explained. He kissed her heated forehead with his own feverish lips before a small cough puffed out from his throat as he aimed his head away from her.

"I am way too fucking tired right now to argue with you about this. Why don't we just… make each other breakfast, or something?" He offered. Under any other circumstances, he'd fight tooth and nail about this, but they were both tired and sick and miserable and hungry and he just wanted to move on with the day. No conflict, no struggle, no arguing, just the two of them doing their best to care for each other. He was even too sick to spend time hating himself today.

"...Fine." Jade conceded, coughing a bit. She knew it would be the best she'd get from Karkat. Besides, she could tell between the slightly reddened eyes and chaotic mess of his hair that argument wasn't going to be something he'd be fond of today. So she decided she'd do her best to make the day go as easy for the both of them as possible.

With that, the two of them walked out of the bedroom together, down the hall, to the left, into the kitchen, and went to work. Karkat reached into the fridge and got eggs, while Jade got the leftover waffle mix out. Karkat knew Jade loved scrambled eggs with a shitton of pepper, and Jade knew Karkat could scarf down waffles until they came back up again. Jade plugged the waffle iron in while Karkat heated a pan on the stove, poured in the batter, then added a slight sprinkle of chocolate chips. Karkat, who was scrambling the eggs with milk, noticed this, and smiled a little bit. Chocolate chip waffles were a particular treat in his book, and she knew it.

While she let the waffle bake, she hacked into her arm before going over and draping herself lightly onto Karkat while he let the egg fall onto the pan. While they sizzled violently, cooking quickly, she kept her arms draped under the near shoulder and over his far shoulder, her head leaning against his near should. He nuzzled his head against hers a little bit, the soft thick plush of her hair invitingly warm, before turning his head away and hacking a little.

"Do you want to go back to the bed or set up in the living room?" He asked her. The bed was comfy, but the living room had TV and Netflix.

"Mm… living room. I'll go grab the blankets and pillows." She said. She slowly dragged herself off of him and began lumbering towards the bedroom to fetch the mentioned items.

"Grab some tissues and shit, too." He reminded.

"Mmm." She replied.

In a few minutes, Karkat had served Jade's eggs on a plate with a side of lightly toasted toast, complete with butter on the toast and a considerable layer of pepper on the eggs. Jade had plopped the blankets around the sofa, which was large enough to support two cuddling sickly collegiates and cushiony enough to be comfy, especially with all the additional blankets and pillows. Karkat also had a coffee table in front of it, which she set the various artifacts to tend to their health on. She lumbered back into the kitchen, still in her white pajama tee and sweatpants, with no intent of changing, to get Karkat's waffle. She went to the iron as Karkat was finishing serving her plate up in his own black tee and dark sweatpants, but found slight difficulty in opening it up.

With great fear, she realized that she didn't spray the iron before pouring the batter. Panicking a bit, she pried the iron open, hoping that the waffle was salvageable.

Thankfully, it seemed unscathed. With a slight sigh - which caused a short coughing session - she remembered she got him the new nonstick coated iron a few months back. What a life saver, she thought. Serving the large waffle on a large plate and buttering it before cascading syrup onto it, she presented her offering to her boyfriend, who looked upon it with hunger in his red-yellow, sickly eyes.

"Have I mentioned how much I love it when you cook me waffles?" He asked. She responded with a peck on his cheek.

"You may have. Come on, let's go eat." She invited, taking his beloved waffle, along with a glass of water, out to the living room. He followed with her eggs and water, making sure to cough away from them. They plopped down onto the couch, serving each other their breakfast, which they ate quietly. Karkat's eggs were a little underdone, and the waffle could've been a bit softer, but neither wasted breath complaining. It was food and they were sick and they were eating and it was all good.

Once they finished eating, Karkat wrapped a blanket around them and pulled Jade down with him as he laid down onto the sofa. Jade shifted herself accordingly, and in very short order they were cuddling and snuggling very neatly and with great comfort on the couch, facing the TV as they played their favorite shows and films on it. They laughed and chuckled and gasped and ranted together as story arcs and season finales came and went. Critiquing episode by episode, bitching about bullshit character deaths and complaining about bad character development, they spent their day tangled up in each other physically and conversationally.

When it came time for lunch, Karkat was fast asleep beneath Jade's weight, so Jade took it upon herself to conduct some stealthy operations. She slowly climbed off of Karkat and walked back into the kitchen, grabbing two cans of chicken noodle soup and bringing them to heat on the stove. In just a few minutes, she walked back into the living room with warm, delicious soup in two bowls, which she set down on the coffee table. Karkat stirred a bit, and propped himself up, still wrapped in a thick blanket.

"What the fuck is this?" He asked.

"Chicken noodle soup. It's lunch." She explained, sitting back down and slurping some soup.

"I would've made something…" He protested.

"I know. But I did anyway. Now eat." She commanded. He sat up a bit more and did so, too groggy to try pressing the topic further.

It took them all of ten minutes to eat the soup, but rather than returning to their Netflix binge, they simply fell back asleep together, exhausted by the war raging inside their feverish bodies. Their soft breath, the steady pulse of their hearts and cycle of rise and fall in their lungs, all served as lullabies as they slept through the afternoon. When next Jade woke up, it was because Karkat was getting off the couch from under her. She didn't speak, but merely watched him sneak over to the kitchen and grab a frozen pizza out from the freezer and slide it into the oven before walking back over. Obviously, he noticed that she was awake. He pecked her forehead in greeting.

"Sorry… I guess I'm not as stealthy as I thought…"

"You aren't. Now get back over here and snuggle with me. I can't sleep when I'm sick unless I have a Karkat-sized lovebug cuddling me." She ordered. How could he defy such a command? He slid back onto the couch and cuddled with her, waiting for the pizza to be ready. Neither of them really fell asleep, but they cuddled with their eyes closed and their minds relaxed, which was just as nice if you asked either of them.

After nearly half an hour, the timer went off, and Jade allowed Karkat to get up and get the pizza. He specifically timed it a bit short so the pizza would be ready, but not painfully hot. He sliced it eight ways and brought it over, serving dinner to himself and his girlfriend, which was consumed quickly. It was three cheese pizza - their mutual favorite. He liked meat lovers, she preferred Hawaiian, but three cheese was something they could both scarf down. Once it was gone, Jade draped herself over Karkat again, this time laying down on top of him rather than cuddling along side him. She kept her head buried in his chest, her ear listening to the steady walking pace of his heart, her arms kept around his midsection while his own arms wrapped around her waist. She kissed his lower jaw gently.

"Thanks, Karkat…" She mumbled tiredly. They had done nothing all day and yet she felt like she had run a marathon from how tired the sickness made her feel.

"For what?" He asked, with just as much exhaustion in his voice.

"For being the best boyfriend." She answered. She felt his lips kiss her head in reply.

"Yeah… thanks… best girlfriend…" He responded. He would normally debate the idea of him being the best boyfriend, but he was tired and sleepy and so was she. He'd let it slide. The day had gone so nicely and lazily and warmly, he wasn't going to spoil it by topping it off with an argument. In fact, to some extent, he even felt good about himself.

It's nice to take a sick day every so often, he realized. They'd have to get sick more often.