Disclaimer: I own nothing. Well, I do own my computer, and some clothes, and a really cool Attack of the Killer Tomatoes doll. As to anything NCIS related, nope, not mine.
Set post Silver War, slight spoilers, maybe.
DMV
Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo stood behind his partner, Ziva David, in a line of people; all of them waiting for 8 am, the time the doors to the District of Columbia DMV driver's examination center opened. Everyone here in line for the DMV but me. Well, these people aren't really orderly enough to be considered a line. He thought to himself. They are more of a jumble. Can you call a group of people a jumble? I mean outside of a porno…
Tony gave a muffled chuckle at his thoughts, causing his partner to elbow him in his stomach. "Behave, Tony," she said keeping her eyes front. "It is almost eight am, the doors will open shortly."
Tony gave a small sigh, as he remembered the short and utterly futile argument he had with Gibbs about having to accompany his partner here. Tony went into the argument knowing he was going to lose, he really didn't mind getting out of a morning of work; but one had to keep up appearances. If I seem too eager to help her, Gibbs will suspect how much I want to break Rule 12 with her. Ooh, page 57... wait, pull back. Tony pulled himself out of his daydream and ran his gaze over the jumble of people in front of him.
He looked around aimlessly, until he was drawn back to the woman in front of him. At least there is something to look at, he thought. His gaze dropped lower to pass over the back of Ziva's tight white top that ended just above the waist of her tan cargo pants. How can she move naturally in something so tight is beyond me. Tony began to slip into another daydream definitely not involving page 57. Pages 54 through 56 may have been mentioned, though.
His eyes snapped up to a more decent level as Ziva turned slightly to look over her shoulder at him. She took in his completely blank expression and gave a small smile.
"See something…interesting, yes." She asked him, her tone letting him know it was not really a question.
Tony flashed her a huge smile and leaned in so their noses were almost touching. "You know, you are right," he said. "The blonde about four people ahead of you has some fabulous…assets." His smile became a smirk as he nodded toward the girl in question.
Ziva gave a little frown and replied in mock confusion, "I noticed that earlier. I did not think he would be your type."
Tony's eyes widened slightly and he pulled back to recount the number of people in line. He saw that the girl was number six, number four was actually a blond man in his early twenties. "Dammed jumble," Tony muttered to himself in disgust.
He turned back to his partner and leaned back in. "Very funny, Zee-vah," he drew out the syllables in her name to show her that she had scored the point this time.
Ziva turned back to the front to hide her smile as they heard the click of the doors being unlocked. The line started to file in and Ziva's grin was wiped from her face as she saw the inside of a DMV for the first time. "What is this?" She turned back to Tony in shock, indicating the poles linked maze-like with ribbons of black nylon.
"This, Ziva, is a shining example of American bureaucracy," Tony paused to enjoy the growing horror on his partner's face. He weighed the enjoyment of watching her spend the next hour forced to wait in line versus the pain she would inflict when she found out she could have avoided the wait.
"Don't worry, ninja girl. You have an appointment at 8:05 for your driving test." He told her with a wide smile. "I set it up for you yesterday, when they told us you had to take the test."
Ziva visibly calmed down, "Oh, good then." She turned to her partner to restart the argument they had had for the entire trip over. "I have an international driver's license as well as a valid Israeli one. I do not see why I need one from the United States."
"We've been over this, Gibbs said you need to do this, you need to do this. It's not our fault some bean counter says you need it to be covered by the NCIS insurance rider," Tony explained tiredly. "Trust me, you are going to need that coverage sooner, rather than later." He gave her another smirk.
Ziva gave Tony a punch on the arm as way of reply, then her face lit up as an idea occurred to her. "Oh, I know, Abby can just make me a license," she said triumphantly.
"No, no," Tony shook his head, and replied while smiling. "That wouldn't be kosher."
"But it would be a valid license."
"Valid, yes. Genuine, no." Tony replied. "As a Federal agency, NCIS expects its agents to actually be law abiding. Well... more or less." He looked across the room and saw the check in desk for the driving portion of the test.
"Just walk over there and check in, Ziva." Tony pointed to the appropriate desk. "I'm going to wait outside, by the test course."
Ziva turned toward the desk and paused, looking back at Tony, "You want to watch me take this test?"
"Of course… you are my partner." Tony puffed up with false concern. "I am here to provide moral support." He paused, looking her in the eyes, before he broke into a huge grin. "OK, I wouldn't have missed this for anything," he told her starting to laugh.
"You really are enjoying this too much, Tony," Ziva told him reproachfully.
"Oh, yes I am." Tony agreed still laughing. "I cannot wait, now go sign up. Hurry." The last was said with him flapping his hand like he was brushing her away.
Tony paused for a moment to appreciate Ziva walking away from him. Page 57. He shook himself a bit and then hurried out to the test course.
One hour later
Tony walked away from the test course, pausing at a trash can to disgustedly throw his bag of popcorn away. I can't believe she actually knows how to drive, he thought. She aced that test and didn't even have to threaten or kill anyone.
He waited, wrapped in his own thoughts for a few minutes until Ziva came skipping out with her new license. "How come you don't drive like that normally? and before you ask, no. I am driving back," he finished firmly.
"It's just so boring to drive that way," Ziva replied with a laugh. "Also, I enjoy the look of terror you and McGee get when I drive."
"Well," Tony asked. "Let me see it."
Ziva flashed her new license at Tony. When she went to draw it back Tony snatched it out of her hand with an exclamation of surprise.
"Hey, this isn't your address." Tony looked from the license to Ziva and back again.
Ziva gave a small sigh, "Yes, Tony. I lied about my address. Why would I want to make it so easy for someone to find me by having where I live in a national database?"
"Why didn't you just use the Israeli Embassy?" Tony asked her with a small frown of confusion as they began to walk back to their Dodge Charger.
"Tony, an Embassy is sovereign territory. It is not, technically, a part of the United States." Ziva explained patiently, as she reached out for the license.
"Hey," Tony exclaimed, lifting the license out of Ziva's reach. "This is McGee's address. Why would you use probie's address."
"It is an address where I would still receive mail that has been sent there." Ziva was quickly becoming tired of her partner's questions.
"But, but, what about my address?" Tony asked, exasperated. "We are partners, why wouldn't you have asked me."
"Who says I asked McGee?"
"You know what I mean," Tony stopped as he sped up slightly to beat Ziva to the driver's side door. "I would have been happy to help." He gave her a hurt look.
"Tony, think," Ziva started. "Would you expect to ever find me at McGee's place?"
"Well no, but..." Tony began, opening the drivers side door. He paused briefly as he thought about what Ziva said. "Well, you've never been over at my place either."
Ziva walked up on him and leaned up to whisper in his ear, "Not yet." She grabbed the keys and her new license out of his now loose grip and slapped him gently on the cheek before slipping in behind the wheel and closing the driver's side door.
Tony shook off his shocked expression and replaced it with a huge grin as he made his way around the back of the car. The words, Page 57, echoing in his head.