Disclaimer: don't own it not the song and not the characters
I was looking for Mattie. I stopped in front of her door as piano music began to play from her stereo. The music was so captivating that I couldn't move, so I decided to listen to it.
~I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone ~
I hate being stuck in this position; afraid to tell her exactly how I feel; afraid of letting go. Every time we try to put this thing between us down or try to make it go away it stays. When she left JAG to go to Dalton's firm every where I turned, in her old office or in the bull pen, I could still feel her presence.
~these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase~
Now, she has told me that we will never work because we both want to be in control. The pain I've felt since she made that statement is too much to deal with at time. Because we have a history there is too much pain that can't be erased by time.
~when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me~
I have seen the strong marine walls that she put up crumble. I have seen a tear or two fall from her beautiful brown eyes. When she was being stalked I was there. How could I not be? I've been by her side for the past eight years, or at least I have tried to be.
~you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me~
Her face, her voice is everywhere I turn. When I dream her face shows up. When I sit by myself her voice is in my head. When I do hear her voice, in reality, any sense that I had before flies out the door. She just has that effect on me.
~these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
I've been alone all along~
I have tried three different times to tell myself that she's gone; I've lost her to another man. But no matter what we still work together and she is still physically with me but at times it feels like that I am so alone.
"Mattie what's the name of the song you just played?"
"My Immortal by Evanescence."
My Immortal, it fits, but for me it would be more like my immortal love because I just can't seem to kill these feelings I have for Mac. I don't want to, but I know I have to in order for me to go on with my life. I have to accept the fact that I love Sarah MacKenzie and those feelings won't die and move on.
I was looking for Mattie. I stopped in front of her door as piano music began to play from her stereo. The music was so captivating that I couldn't move, so I decided to listen to it.
~I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone ~
I hate being stuck in this position; afraid to tell her exactly how I feel; afraid of letting go. Every time we try to put this thing between us down or try to make it go away it stays. When she left JAG to go to Dalton's firm every where I turned, in her old office or in the bull pen, I could still feel her presence.
~these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase~
Now, she has told me that we will never work because we both want to be in control. The pain I've felt since she made that statement is too much to deal with at time. Because we have a history there is too much pain that can't be erased by time.
~when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me~
I have seen the strong marine walls that she put up crumble. I have seen a tear or two fall from her beautiful brown eyes. When she was being stalked I was there. How could I not be? I've been by her side for the past eight years, or at least I have tried to be.
~you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me~
Her face, her voice is everywhere I turn. When I dream her face shows up. When I sit by myself her voice is in my head. When I do hear her voice, in reality, any sense that I had before flies out the door. She just has that effect on me.
~these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
I've been alone all along~
I have tried three different times to tell myself that she's gone; I've lost her to another man. But no matter what we still work together and she is still physically with me but at times it feels like that I am so alone.
"Mattie what's the name of the song you just played?"
"My Immortal by Evanescence."
My Immortal, it fits, but for me it would be more like my immortal love because I just can't seem to kill these feelings I have for Mac. I don't want to, but I know I have to in order for me to go on with my life. I have to accept the fact that I love Sarah MacKenzie and those feelings won't die and move on.