A/N: Hey, hey, hey, look who wrote something! ...And yeah, that's all for the A/N. Just read the story!

I was working late. Not that it mattered much, because I don't know a soul who actually sleeps around here. I'm a Pokémon trainer. I'm also a detective. They call me Gold Castillo. I was down on my luck until a certain dame asked me for help.

She blew into my office like a spring breeze in the middle of autumn. Her hair was blue and seemed to have its own center of gravity. Her face had a look that spelled trouble. But trouble is my middle name.

Actually, it's Wilber, but I was trying to imply that I'm used to trouble.

"You've gotta help me, Mr. Castillo!" the dame said.

"Do I, sweetheart?" I asked.

"This is no time for games. I'm being followed," the dame said. She looked around, as nervous as a porcupine in a balloon factory.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" I asked, feeling the need to call her something other than "sweetheart".

"They call me Kris. Or sometimes Crys. But you can stick with Kris," the dame said. "I've only been in town a few days, but I've already stirred up trouble." I nodded. I'd been right about my previous trouble analogy.

"And what help do you need from me, dollface?" I asked.

"I've been told to deliver a certain package. I was advised not to open it," Kris explained. "When I went to the address, no one was there, and I've been having trouble tracking them down. And now I get the feeling I'm being followed." I couldn't help but notice she seemed a lot less nervous now. This dame was as suspicious as a Teddiursa with its hand stuck in a honey jar.

"You definitely seem to be in a pickle," I said.

"So, will you help me? I've got no one else to turn to," Kris said.

"It'll cost you," I said.

"I've got cash," Kris said.

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear," I said. "Maybe I will help you."

"Thank you, Mr. Castillo," Kris said.

"Call me Gold."

I sat down in my office, contemplating the case. Who was the package gong to? What was in it? And who would want to intercept it? My contemplating was interrupted when something smashed through my window.

I walked over and saw a rock with a note tied to it in the pile of broken glass. It was quite a primitive way to send a message. Hasn't this person ever heard of AIM?

I picked up the rock and read the note. As soon as I saw whom it was from, I shook my head slowly.

Silver...

The redheaded kid had been part of a Pokémon stealing scam a few years back. I managed to catch him and send him to jail. It seemed like the stay was a lot less permanent than I had expected.

Better not stick your nose in other people's business, Castillo.

That was what the note said, if you hadn't guessed.

I called Kris back to my office. "What do you know about a certain boy named Silver?" I asked her.

Kris was as quiet as a mouse that'd taken a career as a mime. "...We dated a few years back," she said finally. "Broke up with him, he was too much trouble for my tastes."

I was going to point out that I'm used to trouble, then decided against it. "I'm assuming the package is supposed to go to him?" I said.

Kris sighed. "Nothing gets past you," she said. "Are you going to go after him?"

"But of course," I said.

"Don't be too hard on him...Silver's just been tempted by the wrong side, is all," Kris said softly.

"There's no excuse for him," I said. "Don't try to convince me otherwise."

Kris stared at me for a long while. "...Good luck," she said, turning out and leaving my office.

A/N: Aren't parodies fun? :3 The answer is yes.