Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
OTP Boot Camp - Yelling
Promises
He stood in the middle of the silent room. Nothing stirred to disturb him as no one was there but him. He was alone as he had been his whole life but for the past year or so, this time it was no one's fault but his. He had made a stupid mistake that had cost him everything that mattered. A single tear slowly crawled down his cheek for the first time since he had been nine as he thought about all the little things he could have done better and all the things he really should have done instead of ignoring it for later.
There was no more later that he could continue waiting for. All of his mistakes had come crumbling down upon him. The fall had been a slow process unlike the quick and furious one he had expected. Harry had been calm and cool when he had returned from his latest mistake.
He remembered Harry's dispassionate gaze as he had stepped into the room after saying goodbye to Daphne just outside the door. He remembered seeing Harry simply sitting there, watching him carefully. He had taken a step back waiting for Harry to start shouting, yelling and cursing him. None of that came.
Harry had already known, he realized soon afterwards. Harry had known about Tom going behind his back with someone else. Harry had known, waited and then given up as anyone would have done. Harry had given up on them and Tom had never noticed a single thing.
When Harry had finally walked closer to him he had stilled, waiting for some sort of reaction from Harry that would tell him how angry Harry truly was but Harry had not touched him at all, not even the briefest brush of his hands.
"I'm sorry," Harry had said while looking sadly at him.
He had felt his heart constrict ever so slightly at the sadness he saw in Harry's eyes. He could not understand why Harry was apologizing to him. It should have been the other way around, he should be the one apologizing to Harry.
Harry had walked out not long afterwards without another word to him. He could barely believe that he had been as stupid as he had been during the past months. He could not believe that he had cheated on the only person who had bothered to care about him for himself and not the Slytherin Heir that attracted many of the other students.
Loneliness attacked him suddenly as he realized that everything of Harry's that had ever been in his room was gone as if it had never been there, as if Harry had never stepped foot within the room, like Harry had never lived in this room with him. He rushed around the room frantically searching for something – anything - that was a reminder of Harry within his rooms. He searched hopelessly for something that was Harry's.
He found something, the small promise ring that had once lain on Harry's finger. The promise rings had been Harry's idea and he had only worn the ring to please Harry. He could barely remember where he had left his own promise ring but he knew it had been months since he had last seen it. He had reasoned that he did not want the entire population of Hogwarts know about them.
How silly that sounded now! He would no longer mind if everyone in the entire wizarding world knew that they were together, if they had been still together. He was not ashamed of Harry. He could not understand why such a thought had convinced him to take off his promise ring months ago. He was sure that was one of the things that had led Harry towards leaving him as he had today.
He flinched as if struck when he noticed the only thing he had ever gifted to Harry lying innocently on the bed. It was the enchanted violin that Harry had loved so much. He had often entered his room to find Harry listening to the music from the violin. When Harry saw him, Harry would stop the enchantment that made the violin play quickly and tackle him in a hug.
He had found those hugs annoying as he had always been knocked onto the floor almost every time he entered his room. He wished for one of those hugs right now. He longed to feel the cool stone against his back and Harry's warmth happily snuggled into his chest. He wished he could hold onto that feeling that he was someone's, Harry's, entire world as he did every single time Harry had smiled or hugged him because he knew he may never be gifted with that feeling ever again.
He did not know what he would do if he saw Harry on another's arm, smiling, joking and laughing in the way he had always reserved just for him. It would hurt, badly at that, but he knew that the pain he felt would have been nothing like what he had forced Harry to go through over the last few months. He deserved all that and much more.
He tried to summon his own promise ring from wherever he had dropped it. The ring came sailing out from under his bed, a bit dusty and looking slightly worse for the wear. He paid none of it any mind as he slipped the ring back on his finger, wearing it as he should have done.
It was too late now. He had broken his promises to Harry, both his promise never to take the promise ring off as long as he loved Harry and to never betray Harry. He had done both and Harry had ignored it until he no longer could cope with him and his lies any more.
He knew that his eyes were probably puffy at this point but he did not care as he slid to the floor holding both the violin and promise ring close to him, hoping Harry would return waltzing in as he usually did.