Cast:
Announcer- Terra
Chef- Cyan
Producer/Director- Edgar
Make-up artist- Relm
Prop boy and item finder- Gau
Instigator- Setzer
Executive producer- Celes
Sound man- Sabin
Special guest- Leo
"It's time for…"
"Sizzle, Bake, Stir!"
Terra speaks into the microphone with a smile. "With me, Terra Branford! And here is your host, the master chef- Cyan Garamonde!"
Edgar sits back in his director chair. "It's gonna be safe this time, I swear. No more live produce."
Cyan bows to the camera. He is dressed with an apron and chef's hat, but still has his armor on underneath. "Good day, I am Cyan. Today, we will attempt a recipe that I have received from the skilled chefs at the Gaia 9 station, hmmm?"
Edgar whispers over to him. "They're not up and running yet, keep going!"
Cyan clears his voice. "Ahem, the recipe is called Spicy Golden Chocobo a la Cid!"
Relm the make-up artist scrunches her face. "EEEEEWWWW! We're going to kill a chocobo and eat it?"
Edgar yanks her aside roughly and hisses. "No! Censorship would blow us out of the water!"
Cyan looks to them with irritation. "Well, we will have to do something."
Leo suddenly runs up to the kitchen counter and lays down a package wrapped in recycled paper. "Here. It's a package of chocobo meat."
Celes the producer sits up with suspicion. "Where did you get that from?"
Leo shrugs. "Some lady said that it was old and a professional help person told her to kill it…She was scary."
Edgar sighs. "At least we've got the meat."
Cyan continues. "Ah! Now you need ½ lb. of the breast meat. Cut it into strips. (Lightning quick Quadra Slam!)There!"
"No one is going to be able to do that." Celes mutters.
"Now for 6 Paruruge… What's that? Oh dear, Gau come here!" Cyan doesn't know any of the FF IX ingredients, nor are they in the studio.
Gau, the errand boy gallops up. "GAU!"
"I want you to fetch me everything on this list! Go to Gaia 9, I demand an explanation of all this!" Cyan hands the recipe to Gau.
"OK, Be wite back!"
An uncomfortable silence commences. Celes starts to file her nails. Sabin twirls the boom mic around and around. Relm pulls on a piece of bubble gum in her mouth. Edgar squeezes a rubber ball and Cyan just smiles nervously at the camera.
Gau comes running back and speaks into the twirling microphone. "AAH WAA! AAAH!"
Edgar gets up and snaps at him. "Gau! Get away from the microphone!"
"wah!" He brings a bag to Cyan.
"This must be it." He looks through it for a moment. "Paruruge, obuda…
Gau perks up at the funny word. "Obuda? OBUDA!"
Cyan points firmly to the ground. "Gau! Sit!"
Gau jumps a little then settles down. "Sahwy!"
Cyan resumes the recipe. "Chop the 6 paruruge, 1 sprite pias…(Chopping). Next add 1 jalapeno phoenix feather, ¾ cup wakuchen, ¼ cup elixir, 1 Tbsp. echo grass…Hmmm, 2 Tbsp Mog droppings! That's not in here. Gau?"
Gau gets up a bit from where he was sleeping and jerks his thumb behind him. "Das what the Moogle here for."
Mog pops up. "EEEE!" He squeaks.
Cyan looks appalled. "Oh no! This cannot be sanitary!"
Mog pouts at him and shakes his paw. "Moogle waste is clean and pure! Used to make candy!" He squats and strains. "EEEE!" (POOT!) "Look!" He turns around and points to it.
No one moves for a moment, so Celes sighs and checks it out. She leans down, hesitating for a moment before reaching for it and picking it up. The guys cringe. "Sort of a brownish powder…Has a strong sweet odour. I'm not positive on this…"
Cyan coughs slightly. "The recipe must continue! Give it to me!"
They put in the poo poo.
"Now, we add in ½ tsp. gisal vegetables, ½ tsp. meiwkuchen, and … D-dear me!"
Edgar tosses his script down. "Now what?"
Cyan's face is in alarm. "½ cup of distilled Bahamut urine!"
(RUMBLE!)
Edgar looks around the room then ducks. "Oh no! Everybody- -LOOK OUT!"
Bahamut: ROAR!
The dragon rips through the building. Chaos ensues.
Everyone: (Screaming)
--------------------------------------------------(Fizzzzzz! Tuning…Fizzzzzzzz)
"We're back," Cyan and the rest of the crew is all wet, "and with the generous donation from the King of Dragons, I believe we can continue with the recipe."
"ugh!" Celes turns her head in disgust. Everyone complains except Gau who just laughs.
"I shall mix in the last ingredient. Now after refrigeration, or a weak ice spell, use a fire 2 to cook it. FIRE 2!"
Explosion!
Terra looks down at the stage room in shock. "OH, how awful! We've seemed to have lost transmission! Well, this is Terra Branford saying have a nice day."
Here is another mess. I don't think I can get a single show to finish right. I can't help it, I love chaos! Peachy!