After Sam learned that Dean sold his soul to the devil to bring Sam back to life. He got upset with him. Then, Dean told him that he only had one year before he had to pay the price. Sam felt empty, sad.

They got back to the hotel, Sam and Dean in one room and Bobby and Ellen in the other. Sam and Dean were so exhausted. Dean got in the shower, trying not to think about what he'd done to save Sam. It had been the only way to save him.

Dean came out of the shower to find Sam sitting at the edge of a bed with his head in his hands. He wasn't making a sound but his body was heaving with sobs. That made Dean feel even more guilty. He sat down beside Sam and waited.

Sam looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes. There were so many emotions and words inside him that he couldn't make any sense of. The only word he could squeak out was," Why?"

"Why'd I make the deal?" Dean took a breath before continuing. "I made it because I had failed you. I'd promised to protect you always. There was nothing else for me to do. And, I wouldn't want to be here without you."

Sam's eyes just pled with him for more information. He couldn't understand how everything had gone so wrong. They'd killed the demon. Shouldn't they be able to feel some joy over that?

"Sammy," Dean put an arm around his shoulder. "Let me help you. You've had a couple of long days and need rest."

"But I need to find an answer, a way to get you out of your deal," Sam sounded desperate.

"It's not going to happen when you're this tired, Dude," Dean tried to comfort him. "Let's get you into the shower so you can get some restful sleep."

Dean choked back tears as he watched Sam cry. Sam let Dean move his limbs out of his clothing and get him in a shower. Dean helped him clean up and got him out. He led Sam to the bed and turned down the covers. Dean had to do some prodding to get Sam to sit on the bed and lie down.

Dean moved to shut off the bedside lamp and Sam stopped him. "Leave it on."

"You haven't been afraid of the dark since you were three, Sam."

"I've never lost my big brother before," and although his tears had been constant, his sobs returned. Sam tried to hide his face.

Dean clicked the light off and crawled into bed beside Sam. "I'm not lost, Sammy. I'm right here."

They were taken back in time to when Sam would get awful nightmares as a child and Dean would be the one to calm his fears. Sometimes he would lie beside him at night, just so that Sam didn't feel alone.

"I'll be right here, Sammy," Dean whispered. "You just rest and I'll stay here to watch over you."

Sam rolled over to face him and grasped Dean's hand. "Please don't let go."

"I won't, Sammy. I won't."

It seemed like a long time later that Sam's breathing slowed to his usual snore. Dean had gotten so used to his snore after their many nights in cramped quarters. The sound was like a lullaby to him. Dean slowly drifted off to sleep, trying to think about finally getting the demon, getting revenge.

Bobby and Ellen didn't say much to each other. They went through the motions of getting ready to rest. After Sam and Dean had settled in, Ellen asked Bobby," How do you thing they are doing?"

"No idea, Ellen."

"Do you know of any way for Sam and Dean to break Dean's deal?" Ellen tried to be optimistic.

"No," Bobby's voice sounded grim. "But that doesn't mean that I won't find a way."

"I was thinking that the boys shouldn't be alone. They shouldn't be living out of motels and chasing evil with the time they have left together."

"We think alike," Bobby agreed. "I plan on having them come home with me. They spent many happy times there. I want them to have those memories around them while they try to figure this out."

Ellen nodded. She thought for a minute and said," Um, Bobby? The Roadhouse burned down. Do you think you'd have any room for me?"

"Sure, Ellen. You never need to ask."

Sam was still asleep the next afternoon. Dean crept out of bed and left their door open as he knocked on Bobby and Ellen's door.

Ellen opened the door. "Are you two doing okay?" concern dripped from her voice.

"Not really," Dean scraped his fingers through his hair. "Sam's having a hard time. It's still sinking in. I promised him I wouldn't leave him alone while he slept, that was the only way I could get him to sleep. Here's a key to our room. When you guys grab something to eat, could you drop us off something?"

"Sure, sure," Ellen replied as Bobby appeared behind her.

"I want to take you boys home with me," it sounded more like an order from Bobby instead of a request. "It will give you a comfortable, familiar place to sort this all out."

Dean nodded. "Let's just stay one more night here. Sam needs to get his strength back. I don't want to change too many things for him right now. Remember when he used to have those nightmares?"

"Yeah," Bobby scratched his stubble on his chin as he recalled the screams coming from the boys' room across the hall. Bobby would check on them and Dean would be in bed beside Sam, comforting him and lulling him back to sleep.

"Well, it is like that again." Dean struggled as he went on," I know it's odd considering our ages, but Sam seems to need to feel me close to calm down. He needs to know he's not alone."

"His worst nightmare is coming true, Dean," Bobby put a hand on his shoulder. "Whatever Sam needs, we will help him with. Whatever you need, we'll help you, too."

"Thanks," Dean tried not to let his brave face crack. The lump in his throat was growing bigger. "I have to get back to Sam."

"We'll just drop food in when we get it," Ellen reminded him.

Dean just gave her a wave without looking back because the tears were stinging his eyes. He closed the door softly. He laid back down beside Sam. Sam's face was twisted in a confused look. He said one word over and over, "Dean."

"I'm right here, Sammy," he brushed his long locks back. "I'm right here. Hush now, go back to sleep." He found Sam's hand and held it. "I'm not going anywhere. We both need out sleep."

Sam settled back in. It wasn't long before Dean heard the familiar snore and he, himself, fell asleep.

Sam woke up and focused on Dean's sleeping face. He looked so peaceful. Sam wondered how he could sleep like that with what was going on. Sam's own dreams had been about being lost or trying to find Dean in very heavy fog. He called out to Dean, looking for some direction. The part that was the most freightening was that Dean never answered back. Sam tried to keep his breathing even and he remembered that one day, in less than a year, Dean would never be able to call back to him.

Dean opened his eyes and was surprised to find Sam staring at him. Dean rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and was about to make one of his usual brotherly smart ass remarks when he saw the look on Sam's face. "What's up, Sam?"

Sam just shook his head as a tear slipped down his cheek before he could wipe it away.

"Talk to me, Sam," Dean placed a hand on the side of Sam's head to he couldn't look away.

"I woke up and it hit me--you already have less than a year left."

"Yep," Dean was starting to feel weary again," That's the deal I made."

"Why did you make it?"

"I had to save you, Sammy," Dean hadn't found any new way to explain why overnight so Sam just got the same answer as before, even though Dean knew it wouldn't be enough Sam.

"Now, how do I save you, Dean?"

"I don't know. I don't know if there is a way."

Sam sat silent, soaking in the presence of his brother. "I've always loved you, Sammy," Dean told him. "You have been mine since you were little. Mom was gone, Dad was on too many hunts, and you were mine to take care of."

"I remember you always being there," Sam started. "I love you, too, Dean. I just can't imagine life without you--without knowing you always have my back."

"Let's try not to think about it," Dean made sure he had eye contact with Sam. "We need to push that aside for now. We're brothers, and nothing can change that. I want us to take time off and enjoy ourselves. We've been running and hunting for too long. Bobby has offered us a place to stay and I think we should take it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am. I know that we could do research from there and we could also just enjoy some sunshine. I think we need more time in the sun, Sam. A little more joy in our lives than we've had lately. Bobby's place would be a good day to start."

"When do we leave?"

"In the morning."

They had some of the food that Ellen and Bobby had left for them. Neither one had an appetite. Since it was already getting dark again, they went back to bed.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Sammy."

"Do you think I'm being childish for wanting you close by?"

"No. I've always been here when you needed me. It's just always how it's been."

It was silent in the darkness. Then, Dean gave a chuckle and asked, "Sammy, do you remember the time we tried to make Dad a birthday cake? I don't think we had all the ingredients. It must have tasted awful, but he still told us how good it was."

"Wasn't it an easy cake from a box?"

"No, we had Mom's recipe to make his favorite cake from scratch," Dean remembered fondly. "He was so touched that we'd tried to make it for him. I'm not even sure we had the right day for his birthday. It was just the fact that it was Mom's recipe and we loved him enough to try to make it for him."

"Do we still have the recipe?" Sam didn't remember much about their Mom, and didn't know if they had anything left that was hers.

"We might have it stashed with some of Dad's things at Bobby's." Dean answered. "I guess when we get there, we can look for it. Bobby doesn't throw anything out, so if we brought it there, it's still there."

The sun felt good on their faces while following Bobby and Ellen to Bobby's. The road had a rhythm to it that was relaxing. They were so used to driving around, so it calmed them into a comfortable lull. Sam fell asleep and Dean was glad to have the reprise from the questions. If he had answers, he'd give them to Sam. Problem was, he didn't know, and he was scared himself.

Sam awoke when they pulled into Bobby's yard. "This place never changes," Dean said. There were cars as far as the eye could see in many different states of repair or dis-repair. It was hard to tell which. Then Bobby's dog came pounding down the drive to welcome them home.

Dean and Sam brought their packs to their usual rooms at Bobby's. It was the same as the last time they'd left it. It felt as close to a home as they had ever had. The familiar objects brought some comfort for the weary boys. Bobby's was the only place that they ever unpacked.

"Dean?" Sam was unsure if he should ask the question.

"Yeah."

"Dad is in heaven with Mom now, right?"

"I think so, Sammy. It is how it should be," Dean thought of his folks together after all these years.

"Think we could open Hell's Gate after, you know, and you would be able to ascend like Dad did?"

"I thought the plan was to find a way to break the deal," Dean replied.

"It is the plan," Sam answered. "I just want to have a Plan B"

"Let's get some R&R and work on Plan A first, okay?" Dean looked over his shoulder to see Sam standing there between his bed and dresser.

"Um, sure," Sam took two of his long steps and was right in front if Dean's face. "I just don't want to lose you." His voice betrayed him. He put his arms around Dean like he would be able to physically keep him on Earth.

Dean sighed and put his arms around Sam. "I want to stay here with you. Let's count on that. We will find a way. After all, we're Winchester's, right?"

Sam tried to laugh and brushed away a couple tears," You're right. You're absolutely right. It's just a matter of finding the answer."

"And Bobby and Ellen will help us along with the guys in Dad's journal. We're not alone in this, Sammy. We can do this," Dean tried to sound sure of himself.

They went downstairs to find Bobby and Ellen busy in the kitchen. When the four of them sat down to their meal, the mood got more relaxed.

"Do you remember Bruiser, Sam?" Bobby asked. "

"Yeah," Sam replied. "He was a small dog you had around here for a long time."

"But do you remember how we got him?"

Sam shook his head.

"You found him somewhere in the yard," Dean told Sam. "He was all alone and tiny. One day I found you asleep inn one of the cars, with that puppy snuggled in. You were holding him like you'd hold a stuffed animal, and you were both snoring."

"He was the only dog I ever allowed in the house," Bobby added. "One day when the puppy was wandering the yard and had gotten a little too far from you boys, a stray dog attacked it. I looked out the window to see both of you running toward it. Dean had a wrench in his hand from tinkering on a car. By the time I got outside, Sam was holding the puppy and it was bitten all over. Dean was bleeding because of the bites he'd received rescuing the puppy from the stray. Sam was in tears over all that had happened. He sat there and watched stitch up his Dean. Then, he handed me the puppy. I'd wanted to put it out of its misery but Sam gave me those big, pleading eyes of his--he was good at using them to his advantage even back then. So, I stitched the puppy up, not expecting it to make it.

I have a picture somewhere of the three of you in bed. Sam was clinging to the puppy and Dean was next to Sam because he knew Sam was sad. The puppy was still alive in the morning so we named it Bruiser."

"I remember grabbing the wrench before I ran to the dogs. I knew my size wasn't going to scare the stray off and it made me mad that anyone, even a dog could hurt my Sammy," Dean added.

"Bruiser always slept in our room," Sam's eyes sparkled as he recalled a dog who had long since past.

"No, Bruiser always slept in my room," Bobby insisted. "It's only when you boys came to visit that he slept in your room."

Dean and Sam chuckled at the thought of Bobby having to share his room with a dog when he generally drew the line at letting a dog in the house. Bobby may have seemed gruff on the outside but he wore his heart on his sleeve when it came to the boys. Ellen had a laugh at that, too.

"Even back then, you were 'my Sammy' and 'my Dean'," Bobby smiled. "That's the way it had always been."

A sense of hope surrounded the table. Sam and Dean weren't alone in their search. Bobby and Ellen weren't going anywhere. They still had all the resources, research and other hunters.

They weren't a family of quitters. They were the Winchesters.