A/N: Hey again everyone! Yup I'm back, but this time I've done a little spoof. But don't get too excited, ok? Lol and I'll try and update it as much as I can now that it is half-term but sorry if I don't. By the way I don't own any of the characters and all that kind of stuff and I have takenideas from other movies and stuffthat I also don't own, dammit lol.Enjoy!

"So Billy, what you're saying to me is that I shouldn't flash the jury any thigh?" gawped Velma.
"Yup, n…n…no thigh!" twitched Billy, blinking at the bright light from the window. "It's a b…b…bad idea Velma. Miss Sunshine might notice." He warned pointing a finger at Velma.
"Did I hear my name?" interrupted Miss Sunshine, popping her head brightly into the cell door.
"Oh holy shit!" squealed Billy, jumping so much that he fell off the dingy bed.
"Why hello there my dears!" exclaimed Miss Sunshine, her lips stretching to impossible lengths. Billy retreated to the depths of under the bed and sat shaking, listening to Miss Sunshine's chirpy voice.
"Hey Miss Sunshine! Have you met my dear old friend Mr Flynn?" grinned Velma pointing to the bed.
"Why yes! Hello there Mr Flynn!" cheered Miss Sunshine on all fours, her head peering under the bed. Billy shrieked at the sight of the peroxide blonde curls and cherry-glossed lips.
"Oh now Billy. Come and say hello to our guest properly." Pouted Velma jokingly, peering under the bed.
"Y'know, I…I-I'm ok here thanks." Squeaked Billy fighting back the memories of Miss Sunshine hitting on him. The feather boa…the revealing lingerie…the suffocating floral perfume…and the cellulite - oh the cellulite! Billy shuddered; he still woke in cold sweats night after night.
Velma giggled at his petrified expression and stood back up. She gently shook out her silky hair and brushed herself off before turning to Miss Sunshine.
"Well I am sorry that Billy isn't…erm…quite himself Miss Sunshine. But I'm sure if you come back tomorrow he'll be right as rain!" enthused Velma.
A squeak emitted from the depths of the bed and Miss Sunshine chuckled to herself.
"Don't you worry Mr Flynn I'll be back tomorrow to see you!" cried Miss Sunshine shrilly. "Goodbye Billy, Goodbye Velma, Goodbye Children, Goodbye, until tomorrow…" her voice could still be heard as she flounced down the corridor.

"Don't worry Billy, she's gone." Laughed Velma.
"Why should I trust you?" came the muffled reply.
"Oh you know me Billy, when have I ever lied to you?"
"Well there was that time with the goldfish, oh and that time with-"
"Oh for God's sake just come out Billy." Sighed Velma.
His head peeked out from under the bed and checked the coast was clear before being followed by the rest of his body.
"C'mon Billy she's not that bad." Mocked Velma.

Billy's wide, terrified eyes came the response…

Mama's soft humming filled her office. Yet again she was having to clean up after Roxie had thrown another temper tantrum. 'She's quite a drama queen that one.' thought Mama
"I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want, so tell me what ya want, what ya really really want. I wanna ah, I wanna ah, I wanna ah, I wanna ah, I tell you all I really want is zig a zig ah!"
"Hey that's some nice singing you got there Mama." Purred Velma as she stood in the doorway. She smiled mischievously before slinking her way across the room, trapping her stiletto heel in a crack and falling flat on her face. Mama had to grip her chair and grit her teeth as hard as she could to stop herself laughing, but it was just too much when two hands appeared on the edge of her desk and a mop of black hair.
"Ya know Mama there's been something I've been wanting to ask you…" murmured Velma, sitting herself on Mama's desk and glaring at her.
"Oh yeah? And what's that kid?" replied Mama suppressing a smile.
"Well do you know…Amos Hart?" whispered Velma, her head tilted towards the light.
"Yes I know Amos Hart, who lives on Drury Lane?" persisted Mama leaning forwards onto her desk.
"Yes. Well, she's married to Amos Hart…"
But before she could finish her sentence, a ball of anger and black lipstick flew into the room.
"Speak of the devil." Murmured Mama.
"Hey wait that's my line!" exclaimed Velma.
"Goddammit." Cursed Mama.
"No that's my line." Replied the ball of anger and black lipstick.
"Get over it girl! Geez the work I put in and this is the gratitude I get…" sighed Mama, looking up from her desk to find two withering looks.
"Anyway…Mama I hate this place! And I hate those stupid guards and," she said turning to glare at Velma "I especially hate you."
"Hey if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all." Smiled Velma.

Roxie was quiet for a few seconds before saying:

"Shut up."

"Hey girl that's no way to talk to my friends. I don't want no disrespectin' up in this place, ok?" said Mama standing up from her chair. "Hey and don't you go wagglin' your head like dat girl!" snapped Mama moving forward around her desk.
"Oh whatever! Look just my skinny ass outta this place before next week or you might find your fat ass dead." Growled Roxie before storming out of the office.
"Hey, she knows I'm sensitive about my weight." Mama was on the edge of tears. "I don't try those diets for nuffin ya'know! I mean I been on the Atkins diet, the GI diet, even the 'Special K' diet and they've done nothing man!"
"Sshh. I know, I know. Listen Mama, I think I know a way to get Roxie into…shape." Velma smirked, an evil smile creeping across her face.
"Oh yeah? And what's that kid?" sniffed Mama, plonking herself back into her chair.

"Well I've got a secret weapon…Miss…Sunshine."