Wet T-Shirt Contest
Summary: Set during Season Two; this will be a one shot about how Dean and Sam judge a wet t-shirt contest at a trendy resort during spring-break…in San Francisco. There will be no wincest or slash, just silly humor.
Rated T for language and sexual references.
I Do Not Own Supernatural, it belongs to the Eric Kripke and the CW and I'm only using them for the entertainment of this story.
Wet T-Shirt Contest
It was the middle of the night and Sam's completely exhausted. They had been hunting a werewolf near San Francisco, California and it took every ounce of energy they had to finally kill it.
Dean was complaining how tired he was, but wanted to eat first. His younger brother suggested take-out or fast food; however, Dean wanted to feast at the famous Market Street Diner.
As they walked into the restaurant, a beautiful waitress seated them. "Hi, my name is Kim and I'll be serving y'all tonight. Can I start you off with coffee?"
Licking his lips, Dean answered, "Thanks, babe, I'll take it black."
Sam uncomfortably glanced at his older brother, "Uh, I'll have a large o.j." She handed them their menus and walked away.
Dean was immensely watching her, then noticed his brother's glances. "What?"
"Dude, you're pathetic. Your eyes are practically popping out, plus you licked your lips like, uh…it was gross."
"Whatever. I think she has the hots for me, so ya might wanna find a motel room by yourself." Dean mentioned as he studied his menu.
Kim returned to take their order, looking at Sam first. "I'll have three egg whites with wheat toast."
Dean gave him a repulsive look then placed his order, "I'll have your famous breakfast burrito, Swedish Pancakes, the Golden-Gate omelet, sour-dough bacon sandwich and vanilla milkshake."
She smiled and walkd away to put their order in.
"Good grief, Dean…are you really gonna eat all of that crap?"
"Yeah, why not?" Dean innocently asked. "Besides, I worked up an appetite killing that beast from tonight."
Kim returned shortly with all their food. Dean immediately began to gobble up the feast, much to his brother's dismay.
"Well, boys, what else can I get ya?" The waitress inquired with a big smile.
With a bigger smile, Dean replied, "How about your phone number, babe?"
"Oh, that's so cute!" She cheerfully responded. "You're trying to make your boyfriend jealous."
Dean was extremely shocked, thus he remained silent. Whereas, his younger brother let's out a chuckle. Kim's hips swaying made it impossible for Dean to call her back.
"Dude, she really gotcha." Sam reacted to his older brother's silence.
But before Dean could speak, a man in his fifties stood at their table. "Hey, guys, my name is Zach and we're looking for some hot young men to judge our wet t-shirt contest this afternoon at our trendy resort, Magnifique. Would you be interested, plus the room would be comp'd?"
Dean swallowed hard, "Hell yeah, we'll do it!"
"But, Dean…"
"Shut up, Sammy and let the man give us the info." Dean motioned for Zach to speak.
"You guys can go check in now and sleep in until the contest starts at 3pm. There will also be a free breakfast buffet and all judges get free beer for the whole event."
Sam sighed and asked, "How long does the event last?"
"The final contest starts at 9pm and usually lasts for about an hour, then the party begins after the main winner is announced." Zach enthusiastically replied.
"I don't know, Dean. This sound like it'll take too long, so I think we should pass."
"Sammy, what the hell?" Dean exclaimed. "We're going and that's the end of this lame discussion."
Dean stood up to shake Zach's hand as they exchange information and soon drove over to the trendy hotel as Sam couldn't help but wonder what they got themselves into.
The oldest Winchester checked them in under the names of Dean and Sam Mahogoff and was soon given key cards, plus credentials for the contest and parties. The duo took the elevator to the eighteenth floor and was pleasantly surprised to their room.
However, it wasn't just a room, it was a junior suite. There was a full kitchen; huge leather sofa; 103 inch flat screen television; large bathroom with a hot tub; king-size bed.
Dean was completely overjoyed that he started to jump up and down on the bed, not realizing it was the only bed.
"Dude, do you see a problem here?" Sam annoyingly questioned while waving at the bed.
"What's the problem?" Dean responded. "This place is awesome!"
"Dean, there is only ONE bed…a king-size bed!"
The oldest brother got off the bed, looked around, and suddenly smiled. "Yeah, but look at the size of this sofa. This, by the way, is where you'll be sleeping, so I'll see ya after my steam shower.
With that said, Sam huffed as he made up the sofa. He hated to admit this to Dean, but this was one of the nicest places he has ever seen. This feeling also made Sam wonder what the catch was.
Dean exited the steam-filled bathroom with the biggest smile as he sat down on the massive bed wearing a pink robe.
"Dude, are ya wearing a pink robe?" Sam asked.
"Yep."
"Why?"
"Because, it was hanging up by the shower, but there is also one in there for ya too."
"Well, there is no way in hell I'm wearing a pink robe." Sam quickly responded.
"It's not pink, it's blue."
"Why did you take the pink one then?" Sam questioned his brother's motives.
"Because, it's…" Dean mumbled, however, his brother couldn't hear him and asked to repeat himself. "I said, I took the pink one, because it's softer, okay?" Dean shouted. "It feels good up against my body…smoothie."
"Smoothie?" Sam inquired, "What the hell? Since when do you like smoothie pink robes?"
"Since my freakin' body hurts after years of hunting and sleeping in shitty motels…that's when." Dean answered as he turned on the tv. "Now, go take a shower and you'll know what I'm talking about."
While eating Peanut M&M's on the enormous bed, Dean noticed how relaxed his little brother looked when he departed from the bathroom one-hour later wearing the light blue robe. "So, Sammy, how was it?"
"Oh man, that was awesome!" Sam ecstatically yelled. "You were right, especially about these robes."
The two brothers ate snacks as they watched Die Hard and soon fell asleep with sweet dreams.
Around 1:30 pm, the phone rang and it was the front desk explaining to Dean that the judges need to check in one hour from now, so if they wanted to eat at the buffet, they better hustle.
It took the duo ten minutes to change and was soon in line at the buffet. It had breakfast items; seafood; steaks; desserts, plus anything else you could imagine.
Sam was sitting at their table when his brother returns with two over-filled plates and a huge smile.
"Sammy, they have everything from cheeseburgers, to chicken chow-mein, to get this…an entire section of pies!" Dean shouts in pleasure. "Did ya hear me…pies! And they even have an M&M pie…I think this is heaven and I don't want to leave…ever!"
"Alright, calm down. I have to admit this food is amazing, but doesn't all seem too good to be true." Sam peacefully remarked, not wanting to start an argument.
"I think we deserve some good luck once in a while, lets take full advantage of all this." Dean said with a smirk, "And I can't wait to see all those perky nipples staring at me later. Oh, that reminds me, I gotta go get some milk to wash down those pies."
Sam shook his head in frustration as his older brother left the table. He glanced around the room and there wasn't a lot of women in the dining room and figured they were probably watching their weight before the contests.
After having five slices of pie, Dean's finally ready to check-in as judges. They were given pens, paper, handbook and strict instructions "not to touch any of the participants", much to Dean's dismay. Plus, they had to sign a waiver stating that they must remain seated in the judging area for the entire show or pay for the rooms or be arrested for theft, because of breech of contract.
A band started playing retro Aerosmith, Warrant and Whitesnake and that made Dean very excited.
The host came out to welcome everyone and the lights dimmed as the music got louder. Sam noticed his brother's eyes and couldn't help smiling. Dean was like a kid in a candy store, but all that changed when the contestants entered the stage.
Dean and Sam looked at one another in horror and wondered if this was a nightmare...
All of the contestants were young men in their t-shirts and underwear. Each one hosed themselves down and then paraded himself around the judges. The crowd went wild as the spotlight centered on each man's crotch as they danced around the stage.
Dean was extremely stunned and was a loss for words. However, his little brother wasn't. "I told ya so. Dean, I knew there would be a catch and something had to be up, because why else would they give us one bed. Oh, and the blue and pink robes were probably his & his…meaning you're the girl in this his & his relationship. Plus, this explains why there was no women in the buffet and why…"
Dean rudely cut off his winey brother, "Okay, I got it! You can shut your cake-hole now and help me figure a way out of this mess."
Before Sam could answer, another round of wet contestants came around and they were flaunting everything in front of the judges.
Dean leaned over to another judge, "Did you know that we were going to judge dudes?"
The bewildered Latino man looked at him, "Duh, that's why it's called Pecks & Peckers.
"Oh God, Sammy! What are we gonna do?"
"I uh, don't know." Sam replied in a soft tone, "I think were gonna have to stay, because if we leave, they'll call the police and that's all we need. Let's just keep a low profile, judge this contest, then leave, okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, you're right." Dean gulped down a bottle of beer. "I'm sorry, Sammy, because ya were right all along."
While writing, Sam nodded and that made his brother question him. "What are you writing?" Dean asked, looking onto the paper, "Are you keeping score…really?"
"Of course, that's why we're here."
"But, Sammy, how are you figuring out who has better junk in their trunk?"
"Dean, really? I'm just judging them on their walk; their dance moves; their uh…"
"Sammy, really? You're actually looking at their cocks to see which one looks better as they walk and dance." Dean shook his head, "Its like I don't even know ya…you're so gay right now."
"You're the ass who got us in the predicament because of your cock…which by the way does most of your thinking!"
"Fuck you!" Dean shouted.
"No thanks, you're not my type."
"Shut up, Sammy!"
"No, I won't. And it's Sam!"
Zach walked over to the judges' table, "Guys, what's the problem?"
Once again, Dean was silent, thus making Sam answer. "Sorry, we were having a disagreement because my boyfriend here is getting very jealous and making a scene. But, we're okay…right honey?"
Pissed off, Dean mocked, "Yeah honey, you can look at all the peckers you want and I promise not to get in your way." He then moved to caress Sam's cheek, "But, you'll still be my one and only."
"Aren't you guys the cutest couple and we're glad to have ya here." Zach cheerfully responded, "And remember all the beer you can drink is on the house."
"Make no mistake; I'll be drinking plenty of beer tonight." Dean added.
The night slowly goes on as each brother continued to drink, judge the wet contestants and try to make the best out of this awkward situation.
Finally, all the judges huddled together as they decided on the main winner. It was tied between two guys- David, a tall, tanned blonde and Cole, a muscular brunette with tattoos and piercings.
Sam and Dean were the last two to judge, as they each voted.
Zach mentioned that it was still a tie and needed to be immediately figured out.
"Sammy, how could ya vote for Cole, when David is clearly the winner?"
"Well, Dean, I feel that Cole is clearly the winner, so why did ya vote for David?"
"Duh, because he's the best looking with great walking and dancing abilities."
"Really, huh?" Sam scoffed, "You were actually paying attention to their walking and dancing abilities."
"Of course I was, because I take my judging very seriously."
"Since when?" Sam demanded. "And you can honestly tell me that you're checking out each guy…each wet guy?"
"Yeah, I was." Dean proudly stated. "According to page three of the handbook, each contestant must show ability to walk, dance and be sexy in their wet t-shirt and underwear. And David was the only one who did that…that's why he gets my vote."
Zach spoke up, "Well, Sam, can you debate his excellent answer?"
Sam cleared his throat, "All I have to say in my defense is that Cole has a very large penis and still could walk, dance and be sexy in his wet t-shirt and underwear."
The other judges mumbled about how large Cole was and now voted for him too. Zach announced how Cole was the new winner and as he jumped around, his large penis and balls were bouncing every which way. Sam looked over to his brother, who was shaking his head in disbelief.
"Really, Sammy?" The eldest Winchester commented, "Is this how ya wanted to win, by making this all about a big cock? You're a douche bag for cheating, you know."
"Yeah, I know. You spoke like a true professional judge by using the hand book and all, but I couldn't let you win. And it's Sam."
"Bitch."
"Jerk."
"Well, now what? You wanna leave or stay for the free beer and the party?" Dean wearily asked.
"Since we're already here, we could just stay." Sam quietly said.
Cole came over to thank each judge personally.
"Congrats, dude, but Sammy here is the one who broke the tie to help ya win." Dean loudly stated as he patted his brother on the back.
Cole hugged Sam, thanking him. "Man, you don't know how this money is gonna help me and me wife." He then waved a woman over, "Honey, this is the judge who broke the tie for us." The beautiful blonde named, Chantel, kissed Sam on the cheek to thank him.
Chantel then motioned for her identical twin sister, Cherri, over and she thanked Sam by kissing him too.
Dean was shocked by the events, especially when Cherri invited Sam up to her room. Meanwhile, David came over to thank Dean for voting for him and invited the oldest Winchester to his room.
"Figures…my luck really does suck. Sammy votes for a large cock, but spends the night with a big busty hot blonde. I play fair and end up getting hit on by a gay guy. Life is peachy."
The End