CONFESSIONS OF A GOOD FRIEND

we have always been together, how long i can't remember

i remember how i saw you're smile from a distance

and how your crisp laughter echoed throughout

it created an impression i can't forget no matter what

starting that day i knew there and then i fell

no matter how many times i deny it

no matter how i rationalize my feelings

fact remains, without you, part of me is incomplete

we started as friends, really good friends

no matter how strong i felt, i kept my feelings at bay

in fear that if i say single word, or convey my feelings

i'm going to lose something more precious than my sanity

years have passed my feelings haven't changed

though it hurts me seeing you happy in the arms of another

i'm all contented with us being friends, good friends

though at times i wish we we're more than that.

i kept my feelings at bay, kept them hidden

though mere thoughts of you drives me insane

you're an addiction that i can never do without

i love you, i want you, but i can't say it

then one fateful rainy night,

the fates played their cruel joke on me

the very words i dreaded to hear came out

from your lips, you said "Fuji, I'm getting married"

i masked my hurt and pain with a plastered smile

congratulated you like a good friend i am

my placid smile did not betray me, neither did my eyes

though i'm already breaking and dying inside

your auspicious day came at last

you were more beautiful than you ever were

i see you all smiles, anxious and excited

but there was sadness in you cerulean eyes

you said your vows all teary eyed

i sat through the whole ceremony or ordeal

i was hurting, wishing it was me in front of you

no matter how hurt i was, i stayed, still the supportive friend

you were all smiles and laughter

but those look in your eyes haunted me

they felt they were accusing me or some thing

maybe i'm paranoid, but it felt just that

years passed i was still the good friend

i was there, stayed with you till the end

yet those look in your eyes haunted my waking hours

i knew i wasn't imagining, because those look were real

the very day the fates took you away

i found a letter addressed to me

weird thing is, it started with a question:

"Why aren't you mine?"

i read through the letter, and all through it were questions

a confession of love, wanting, accusation and regret

my heart bled, a sharp pang hits with every word written

the letter was signed by you..

i thought i was the one loving you

didn't know you were loving me as well

i thought i was nothing but just a good friend

i didn't now i was more than that.

now that you're gone, i left with your memories

and in the pouring rain i'll confess, i know you'll hear

i love you and i'm sorry i kept my silence

i've always known in my heart i was yours and you were mine

always and forever...