I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. I like-
Vincent: One more word and I'm ripping out your voicebox then feeding it to you.
Alucard: You're so cute when you're-
Finish that sentence and I'm ripping out your voicebox.
Alucard: ...Very well.
Naruto: You know who's hot?
Sephiroth: Jensen Ackles?
Scar: Jeffery Dean Morgan?
Itachi: Jared Padalecki?
...You like Jared Padalecki?
Itachi: Woman, I have eyes and I know what pleases me.
Naruto: ...You like Jared Padalecki?
Cloud: The question we should all be asking is how the hell Scar knows who Jeffery Dean Morgan is.
...He has a point.
Scar: (mumbles)
Kyuubi: ...Seriously?
What about the rest of us that don't have super human hearing?
Kyuubi: Sorry to burst your bubble, sugar, but the only one lacking super human hearing is you.
...Is there a reason you're channeling Lorne or is today a special occassion.
Cloud: I think it's kind of cute.
Sephiroth: He's like that voice inside your head that gives you advice!
Naruto: ...He's that voice inside my head that tells me to kill.
Kyuubi: Why do you have to be such a bitch?
Ladies, ladies, please. Let's just do what we came to do then go home.
Vincent: ...Should I find it disturbing that she's being reasonable or just not think about it?
Alucard: The latter is more comforting than the former.
Itachi: Well said, sir.
You guys wanted to know how Let Me See your Madness began so now we'll just have to wonder how it's going to end.
Alucard: The usual warnings apply so have no fear but tread with caution, my darlings.
And I don't own Naruto!
--
My So-Called Happy Ever After
The war was finally over, Orochimaru had been completely destroyed and Sasuke had returned to Konoha. Hinata, Gaara, and Naruto were the only ones to see him arrive in the dead of night. And surprisingly, it was Hinata, not Naruto, who then promptly broke Sasuke's nose and told him what a thoughtless, self-centered prick he was and if he ever pulled another stunt like this then there wouldn't be enough of him left to put in a plastic baggie.
Friend or not, a traitor was always a traitor and it was only Gaara's gaze that kept her from snapping Sasuke's neck. She looked over her shoulder and into his fathomless sea green eyes. The two exchanged a silent conversation that was all half-smiles and eye rolls then flatly looked at Sasuke.
He wiped the blood off his face then raised an eyebrow at the strange companionship. Naruto met his dark gaze steadily then gave a helpless shrug. "You've missed a lot, Uchiha," he simply said. Not Sasuke. Uchiha. It wasn't like the magnitude of his defection of Konoha just hit him but it sure as hell felt like it. Naruto, his one true friend, couldn't even say his name.
He looked Sasuke up and down then grinned. "So, how was life as Orochimaru's number one bitch," Naruto asked with a leer, "because with a uniform like that the pay better be good." And for the first time in a long time, Sasuke smiled.
Council of Konoha Elders...
"He's dangerous!" "He's all we have left after that twice-damned brother of his slaughtered his family then joined Akatsuki!" A murmur of unease spilled forth. Though Akatsuki was still active, it was like they vanished.
Just when it seemed that Sound was about to triumph and Orochimaru's dream was about to be realized, Akatsuki silently ripped through his ranks like fire consuming paper. Some suspect that Itachi still held lingering affection for the village that was once his home while others believe it was just a display of power. However, all know this was the day that Itachi Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki fought side by side without a single word or glance passing between them.
"Be that as it may," one of the elders slowly began, "if it wasn't for that boy's name then he would have been dealt with a long time ago. Our Elites were more than capable of handling a single child but you, fellow councilmen, foolishly believed that the young Uchiha would, how did you put it? Ah, "come to his senses."
The other elders looked sullen and unrepentant but held their tongues so the speaker continued. "You let him back into this village alive and if any calamity should befall us then it shall be upon your heads." Whether it was a prophecy or a warning, it should have been heeded but no one listens to the child that says the sky is falling until heaven come crashing down at our feet.
--
The village rejoiced at Sasuke's return. Naruto could understand why but he still felt unresponsive and immune to the happy atmosphere. The bright colors and smiling, glowing faces only sank him deeper into the beginning of a dark depression.
"He has returned." Even if Naruto was blind, deaf, and dumb he would still be able to sense Itachi's presence… even in the middle of Konoha's town square packed with every person that lived within her walls. "This pleases you." Naruto leaned back into Itachi's waiting embrace then looked into calm eyes the color of fresh spilled blood. "Should it," he asked with a flippant grin. Itachi simply blinked and the corners of his mouth twitched. "Perhaps," he mysteriously said. "Nonetheless, he has returned."
Naruto nodded absent-mindedly and they stood in silence though surrounded by sound. "What are you doing here," Naruto finally asked as he turned to face Itachi with wary eyes, "you look like…" Itachi suddenly stepped back and twirled then bowed mockingly in his civilian clothes. He looked… young. "You look like an idiot," Naruto snickered, "I mean, I know you can walk around in your normal choice of attire but isn't this kind of… Oh, I don't know… Public," he said as he flailed his arms spastically.
Itachi regarded Naruto in slight amusement then tilted his head thoughtfully. "Sadly, I find your fish out of water routine somewhat endearing," he said as he patted Naruto on the head. "besides, what people see doesn't reflect what truly is." At Naruto's blank look Itachi actually rolled his eyes and took on the tone of a teacher whose prize pupil just fell out of his chair while asleep during a lecture.
"You've mastered Rasengan but a simple transformation jutsu combined the elements of a chakra cloaking device confuse you," "Itachi sighed with a pained expression though his usually expressionless eyes were soft. "How I taught you nothing?" Naruto fidgeted self-consciously then looked mildly disgruntled. "…If this is you teasing me then I would just like to say I feel very uncomfortable with it," he muttered as his cheeks flamed while he picked at a stray thread on his sleeve.
A chuckled filled the air and Naruto froze at the strange sound then looked at Itachi in alarm. "Stupid, brave child," he said as he gently cupped the blonde's face. Naruto let out a squeak as he was suddenly kissed. "If you ever allow another to touch you as I have then you will be punished," Itachi quietly said with a look that a succubus would've whimpered at.
"Uzumaki!" Naruto whirled around so fast that Kiba keep took a step back to avoid getting his head ripped off. "Easy there! Tsunade wants to talk with you, man. No need to get twitchy," Kiba easily said. Naruto found that oddly comforting but couldn't understand why. He simply nodded and followed Kiba. He didn't even need to look back to know that Itachi was gone.
"Uh, I hate to break it to you but this looks like a hell of a lot more people than Tsunade, Kiba," Naruto said as he found all exits of the abandoned warehouse with all the windows barred and blacked out. All nine teams were also present. Hinata and Gaara looked as clueless as Naruto did though they hid it a whole lot better. "Where is the old lady anyway," Naruto said with a frown. "No need to get whiny, brat. I just wanted witnesses for what I'm about to do," Tsunade said.
At her first step, Naruto, Gaara, and Hinata were back to back with blades hissing out of their sheaths and sand whirling at their feet as their combined chakra crackled through the air. "Did I startle you," Tsunade asked with a smile.
Gaara couldn't fight back the sneer that twisted his face even when Hinata put a comforting, restraining hand on his shoulder and Naruto looked like he want to break something. "What the hell," he hissed though elongated teeth. His eyes were a dark, bruised purple and it looked like whiskers were cut into his face.
"I just wanted to congratulate your team on their display on the battlefield," Tsunade said with a playful tilt of her hips and a cheeky grin. "…Uh." Naruto helplessly looked back at Sasuke and Sakura but they quickly shook their heads though they smiled. Naruto's primal rage was soon replaced by confusion. Hinata shook with silent laughter while Gaara remained impassive.
"So, who's team captain," Hinata drawled as she threw an arm over Gaara's and Naruto's shoulders. "I lack people skills despite your training," Gaara said with what looked like a smile forming on his face. "I also cannot tolerate the stupid and find compassion sickening though acceptable." "I won't be taken seriously," Hinata said with a frown. "And apparently I have "anger management problems…"
Sasuke's eyebrows were now past his hairline and Sakura valiantly choked back a laugh as the look on Naruto's and Sasuke's faces. "Guess that makes you our fearless leader," Hinata said to Naruto with a thoughtful look. "Huh, this should be fun…" Naruto Uzumaki wasn't ashamed to say that he fainted but if anyone asked, he had a moment of extreme disorientation and decided to take an eight hour nap.
tbc...
I plan to do a lot more but tell me what you would like to see. I know some of you enjoyed the Angelus/Angel thing i recently did so I plan to expand that into an actual fic.
Scar: She likes reviews and they amuse us greatly so please read and review.
Alucard: We promise to continue the madness but we need your encouraging words to fuel it.