Title:
Fan-Girls – Mission Impossible: Escape
Episode One – The Beginning
They laughed together, the placid fox and the charismatic bat, as they divided the spoils of their last heist. Both of them had just returned from a great heist that would set them up for the summer, and they were happy in their ignorance. You see, both of them had survived sleeping with thousands of women and somehow managed to not marry any of them, but just recently, they had both made a serious mistake: they'd met another of the obsessive, and had not realized it.
Now, usually, these two promiscuous philanderers would have sex with a woman, realize that she wanted something serious from them, and would do one of the following: let her down gently, threaten her into submission, fake their own death (in the case of Kuronue,) or kill her to keep her away. Whenever they spotted such a girl, those actions were usually the best, in that they were the easiest, which to both of them translated to the word 'best.' However, this time they met two subtles, who secretly obsessed over them without their realizing it. This was what could only be called: divine punishment.
Kuronue woke one night in a cold sweat, falling from his hanging place and flipping to land on his feet. He heard several giggles and 'ooh's as he tossed his hair from the back of his sticky neck, and found himself raising an eyebrow in suspicion.
"Have you heard them?" he asked the darkness, not needing to ask if his partner was up. If anything, the fox had awoken before him. The sweating fox materialized from the shadows, and nodded, earning several more giggles at his transparent clothing. Kuronue could have sworn he heard 'Hooray for hot, Makai summers!' from somewhere in the distance, but he ignored it, and looked to Youko.
"Why are they here?" he asked.
"I don't know." The fox replied.
"Spying to steal from us?"
"I don't know."
"Waiting to ambush us or ravage us in our sleep?"
"Kuronue. I don't know."
"I know you don't, but I'm trying to reason through it." the bat pouted. The fox rolled his eyes, shifting his weight and wiping the sweat from his forehead, earning several more 'ooh's from the bushes.
"Somehow, all of your ideas seem to have perverted endings." the fox stated, gazing off into the woods.
"Oh, come on. Not all of them." The bat smirked, and the fox joined him, and they laughed again, pulling off their soaked clothes and changing to wait for the watchers to move. Unfortunately, they didn't have to wait long.
"Kuronue~!" a woman yelled, leaping out of a tree at the unprepared duo. "I knew you weren't dead!" The pair's eyes widened, and Kuronue realized:
"It's that woman - ah… - what's her name…?" Kurama almost didn't have time to shove Kuronue out of the way of the attacking obsessive, but, unfortunately, consequently pushed them both out of their lair. Instantly, there were unmistakable cries of the thing these two men had always feared the most. They looked at each other, and muttered ion thing.
"Fan-girls." And they were running through the woods, dodging squeals and shouts of "OMG I LOVE YOU!!!" and "TAKE HIS PANTS!!!" and many other things that should not be repeated for the sake of the rating and fear factor.
The two ran from the girls for hours, finally managing to hide in a bar and catch their breath. This was where they met them: the leaders.
"Hey there, you two." the girls greeted, sliding in across from them. Kurama remembered them, and wished he'd gotten their names. They were the ones. The fan-fiction writers, the stalker-callers, and the ones that had gotten the duo drunk and left the two thieves to forget about them. Kurama and Kuronue recognized them immediately, and stood. One of them squealed, and suddenly they were surrounded.
"Shit!" they cried, and ran in fear from the terrifying power those girls commanded, slicing through the remaining fan-girls and running until they could no longer.
"We should be safe here." Kurama assured his partner.
"Don't say anything. They'll hear you." his partner replied before they both fell asleep.