A/N: I don't own HIMYM, though if I did Barney and Robin would be together already.
He chokes the first time they talk about it. This casual hook-up thing (it's so wrong) Who knew that Barney Stinson was still crushing hard on beautiful, funny, OFF LIMITS Robin Scherbatsky. He throws a few televisions; the violence makes me feel better, more in control. But then he hears her laugh, she shakes that glorious hair again and he's wishing for a 32 inch plasma screen.
She's so cavalier, so aloof, so tantalising that his mouth goes dry and he's left downing scotch like it's water in the desert. Lily's noticed, gives him that warning look every time he starts going goggle-eyed. (That's absurd, Barney Stinson doesn't go goggle-eyed. WHAT UP?)
Marshall knows, because Lily knows and they're the two headed beast with too much touchy-feely crap. Oh god, his body tightens and he shrinks when she grins at him, complains about Ted and being needy. (She admires you, Stinson)
When did he get so pathetic?
He can't speak, not when she's grinning at him like that and offering tacos. She thinks they're his favourite (Isn't she sweet?) but they're not. She's his favourite, but he can't tell her that.
Ted would tell her that. (Robin, I love you.)
He suffers in silence. He's got a room of televisions now (It's habit)
They're all broken.