Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, or all of my OTPs would be canon.
Contains Some Language, Sexual Themes, religious themes, But No actual Sex, probably.
Alfred was scared. He'd never been so worried in his life, nor so ashamed. He sat in the back seat of the family's blue sedan staring at his hands folded in his lap. His parents said nothing, staring blankly out the windshield not chancing to look back at him. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything. Maybe the problem would just go away. All Alfred knew was that he was going to a camp for boys like him. St. Levi's Center of Counsel for Boys. Though many people called it by other names, most of which were not polite, Alfred called it "Camp Pray-The-Gay-Away." He had willingly submitted himself for the Camp's therapy program, hoping and praying to God that he could be Cured. The Camp was highly publicized, and considered the best in the world for this sort of problem, so many kids from all over the world were admitted. As a matter of fact, Alfred's brother Mathew was taken to camp earlier that summer, though not as willingly.
Another reason, as if he needed any more, that he was worried was Mathew's reaction. It had been Alfred who ratted out Matt to their parents after he accidentally walked in on him masturbating to what turned out to be pornographic material not of a heterosexual nature. His parents hadn't taken that well. Alfred came from an ultra conservative and zealously religious family. There had been so much arguing and shouting and horrible name calling that ended in Mathew almost getting kicked out of the house, until Alfred saved him by suggesting sending his brother to a camp so that he could be healed of his filthy ways. That night, Alfred overheard his parents talking about how they "still had another" and that Alfred "was always the good child anyway." That was both bull and something to make him feel worse. Mathew always got As and did what he was told, whereas Alfred was the rebel who always did as he pleased whenever it suited him. Now, even as "the good child" he was letting them down further.
Alfred himself was unaware of his own feelings. He had never really been "into" girls, saying that sports came first or that he was too busy hanging out with his friends. It wasn't until recently that a trip to the Gym became note-worthy to him. He was in the locker room as usual, changing to go home when he caught himself staring. At first he had brushed it off as just zoning out, but he found himself with strange new thoughts. How muscles under the skin rolled while being stretched…it was…beautiful? Did that word apply? No. Alfred couldn't let himself think like that, he wasn't a… well, he didn't… He was blushing to his ears, so he quickly finished changing and left. Though he ended up thinking about it all day, among other things, wondering if that was how Mathew had felt, "No, that's different." He thought to himself. He refused to think anything else.
Until the dreams started. That's when Alfred started panicking. It wasn't so much about what he dreamt of, as much as how much he liked the images flickering around in his head. It would start out as nothing out of the ordinary, like watching football with a friend, and then would take a dramatic turn. One was when he had just won a football game for his team and suddenly he was in the locker room, naked as he was pressed into the cold metal, and passionately making out with a teammate. Alfred refused to think about the specifics, but he couldn't ignore how dreams like that made him feel. And it scared him.
He began trying to prove to himself that he couldn't be gay. He was Manly, he was straight! But…it didn't seem to matter. He could be as masculine as humanly possible, but it wouldn't make the strange thoughts go away. So he tried to conjure up new thoughts of him with girls. Beautiful girls with big boobs. It didn't work, he just couldn't find it quite as appealing for some reason. With his trusty laptop, he looked up images of all types of women in what were supposed to be alluring and erotic states and doing lewd activities. These were supposed to turn him on, but in reality it kind of grossed him out a little. He finally struck out when he convinced this girl he knew liked him to go on a date with him. She was pretty, he supposed, with medium length blonde hair, big blue eyes, same shade as his, and a rather large rack. She had a similar sense of humor. He took her back to her place (her parents were out) and then…well things just didn't work out. He tried, but he just couldn't…well…let's just say they didn't make it all the way. Anyway, kissing felt all wrong too. And he wasn't sure what to do with her boobs, if anything, they were in the way, he thought. At least she was very polite about it. She promised not to tell anyone, and didn't make one remark about it, but it was clear she was a bit disappointed.
Maybe he was sick. That had to be it! He was sick and it would go away. He blamed Mathew for this, not that he'd done it on purpose, but it had somehow rubbed off on him and now he was sick like Mathew. When the feelings didn't go away as quick as he'd like them to, he began to think that maybe if Mathew made him…whatever this is…that if he went to the camp Mathew did, he could be cured too!
There was the problem of Mathew again, though. Would he be grateful to Alfred for saving him? Or would he be pissed that Alfred had humiliated him? Maybe Matt would just be happy to see him; after all, campers were not allowed visitors, so Alfred hadn't seen his brother in the last five or six weeks. The trip took much less time than it should, but the silence made it feel much longer anyway. The Jones family finally pulled up to the Gates of St. Levi's for the second time.
They were met at the door by a few staff members, who took Alfred's luggage to the room he'd be sharing with someone else, and led them to an office where Alfred was placed in a chair in front of the large polished desk. After waiting what felt like hours, but was really only a few minutes, a man with short black hair and a small mustache led a very confused looking Mathew into the room, then took his spot on the other side of the desk. Mathew looked at Alfred in bewilderment, before registering the fear on his brother's face, and quickly went to hug him. "Oh Alfred," Mathew sighed, "welcome to Hell."
A.N. Because this is following Alfred and from his point of view, I write in his current opinion. That means that if I say something is Bad or Evil, that is not my actual opinion, And Alfred's opinion is subject to change maybe. There will be several Character pairings in the upcoming chapters,
Please Review!
Criticism is accepted, but no flames please. If you think the rating needs to change, please let me know. I'm trying to keep it T, for language and Adult situations that are not explicit.