PDV Shizuru.
I remembered clearly my first meeting with Natsuki. We were eight years old, she was shy and a very enthusiastic child. She was playing in the municipal park while I was reading a book. We were not very close… I was following her around and she never rejected me even if I now realized I was a bother, she was one year older than me. I loved to watch her with her blue cycle, she was cute with her smiling face when she opened wide her arms to enjoy the air, and don't know the reason but I needed to be with her. My family was such a mess, my father cheated my mother and he left with one of her mistresses, my mother, she took care of me, we lived in poverty but we still happy to have food in our plates and a roof on the head, but we had a lot of loans. Natsuki was liked a new environment for me. I could breathe without thinking about my financial problems. Even if I looked at her far away, I felt close to her. I could not prevent from talking to her and asked to be her friend, and she simply laughed at me. She said she did not need a friend, but she did not push me away, she did not ask to let her alone. So, I sat on the bench and I drew her that's the way I was next to her. She was the reason I liked to draw. I have a lot of portraits, essentially of Natsuki. She was the perfect subject and one day, she did not come anymore, I waited for her… days, weeks and months… the seasons changed… but she never came back, she disappeared. I slowly forget her presence in my mind as if she was an illusion to break my loneliness.
Now, I'm seventeen, my life still complicated, with no money, I had some difficulty to study and to eat. I thought about given up my studies, to work and to escape from this city, I hated Fuuka, I was trapped, I felt like I'm drowning. People were nasty, they talked behind your back, they judged you as if they were better than you. But they were the worst. When I'm older, I'll leave and live. For my mother, I knew I was a burden, she worked a lot to provide a decent life. She had a boyfriend, she could marry him and have children with him, but she did not want to leave me, nevertheless, she deserved happiness after all the sacrifices she made for me. I don't consider that man as my father or stepfather, he was only my mother's boyfriend nothing more.
I tried not to yawn, I was so exhausted, I didn't eat well today as the other days… I did not have breakfast, it was too expensive, I only eat at lunch. The other students mocked me, I was so poor and sometimes, my stomach growled with hunger during the lessons. I looked at through the window, the sky was so blue. I wanted to put my hand towards the sky and capture it into my grip, I envied the birds that could freely fly where they wanted. I was my own prisoner, I wished I could escape. One year and my silent pain will be ended.
"Everybody, there is a new student that was transferred to our school, she came from Tokyo, her name is Natsuki Kuga, you should present yourself to your classmate." I suddenly turned my head, I almost hurt my neck and I saw her… it was her, it was HER! I knew it. I was as petrified, I thought I would never see her again, a vulgar memory that I cherished by myself. These bright green eyes, the beautiful long blue hair… she was slender and tall… but that's coldness, distance in her eyes and behavior. Some boys whistled at her, she did not pay attention to them, she went to sit to her place without saying a word. My heart kept furiously beating, my breath was taken away. I hardly swallowed when she turned to my side, did she recognize me? It was longtime ago, of course not, I was nobody as today. I blushed and attentively read my notebook. Did I forget to mention I loved women? And Natsuki was completely my type. I noticed she was my first crush… my first love… and she came back to my empty life, but she was not the same anymore. She wholly changed, and I will quickly find out her new personality. Meaner, stronger, hurtful and dangerous. And yet, I could not help getting closer to her even if it broke my wings.