This is an insane story that originated as an RP that fellow FanFiction member InkedRequiem and I had done over the phone...It IS a crossover, but since it's between SEVERAL anime, I simply placed it in the category that the main characters are from. Rated M because...who knows what I'll end up writing in future chapters...

KAKASHI AND JIRAIYA'S AWESOME ANIME ADVENTURE! (CHAPTER 1: THE CURSE OF THE RAVEN!)

Hello, dear reader. My name is Kakashi Hatake. I would tell you a little bit about myself, but then I'd have to kill you. Besides, this story is only about one particular event in my past and nothing else should be relevant to you. Are we clear?

It all started on a Sunday afternoon. I had just finished eating a Ninja Cheeseburger (it's like a regular Cheeseburger…except ninjas eat it…) from Ninja McDonald's (it's like a regular McDonald's…except there are ninjas…) and was looking for a pleasant way to spend the rest of the day. So, I went home and called my companion, Iruka.

"Wazzaaaaaap! ?" I exclaimed before Iruka even had the chance to say hello.

"That's not even funny anymore." Iruka sounded quite disgusted. I could tell something was wrong. So, I used my expert social skills to try and subtly probe for information.

"What the hell is wrong with you! ?"

"It's that Uchiha kid." Iruka replied, "He stole the eggnog from my fridge."

I pondered the situation for a moment. What would Sasuke Uchiha want with eggnog? I was sure that whatever the purpose, the outcome could not be positive.

"I will get to the bottom of this dilemma." I hung up before Iruka got the chance to say goodbye and swiftly put on my Ninja Vest. In seconds, I was out the door, sprinting down the street to the Playbo—errm…Uchiha Mansion. There was no time to waste.

I burst in the front door, heroically as always, "Where's the nog, you sick bastard! ?"

Alas, there was no one there. The mansion was completely silent, except for the faint sound of a television. I followed the sound into the living room to find, you guessed it, a television. It was on, but no one was in the room watching it. At first, I thought that maybe Sasuke had left it on for his cat, but then I remembered that the government had seized possession of Sasuke's pets long ago (that is a story for another time).

Using my advanced technological skills, I located the power button on the front of the television and turned it off. Just then, I heard a quick and rapid succession of footsteps pounding down the staircase. It was Sasuke; and he was NOT happy.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU TURN OFF MY TV! ?" Sasuke's eyes were filled with an intense fire, and I could feel actual heat emitting from them. However, I stood my ground. I could not show fear.

"What are you planning, Sasuke! ?" I boldly enquired, "I know you stole Iruka's eggnog!"

"A PLAUGE UPON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!" Sasuke shouted demonically, pointing at me with much intensity. As I braced myself for a fight, I heard a voice behind me.

"I came as soon as I heard Sasuke referencing Shakespeare!" Naruto exclaimed, keeping his distance, "He only does that when he's really ticked off!"

"Well, how do I get him to calm down! ?"

"You don't!" Sasuke interrupted, "But it doesn't matter, because I have just placed an ancient Uchiha curse upon you."

"What kind of curse?" I asked nervously.

"The Curse of the Raven." He replied, "In seven days, the Great Raven will come down from the heavens and feast upon your mortal flesh!"

"Don't you think you're overreacting a little? All I did was turn off a TV…"

"Your fate has been sealed!" Sasuke began to exit the room, "Oh, and for your information, I never overreact."

Just as Sasuke went to complete his exit, he stubbed his toe on a rocking chair.

"INFERNAL WOODEN RECLINER! I WILL SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO THE DEEPEST DEPTHS OF HELL!" Sasuke screeched as he tore the piece of furniture to bits. After a few moments of catching his breath, he slowly looked up at Naruto.

"You know what tonight is, don't you?" Sasuke asked him with a hint of anger. Naruto didn't answer him, but gulped in fear. However, Sasuke seemed to be satisfied with that response, as a wicked smirk gleamed across his face, "I want you to wear your special outfit."

With those words, Sasuke left the room. I looked over at Naruto, who appeared to be both sad and unnerved at the same time.

"Should I even ask what that was about?" I genuinely did not want to know, so I'm not sure why I even asked.

Naruto quickly shook it off, "Don't worry about that! The only thing you should concern yourself with is breaking Sasuke's curse before the seven days are up!"

"You mean, there is a way out of it?"

"Yes." Naruto replied, "But it will be the most dangerous journey of your life."

Suddenly, epic music began playing. I looked around, trying to find the source, but to no avail. Just as I was about to ask where it was coming from, Jiraiya came out from underneath a cushion on Sasuke's couch.

"There are so many chicks down there!" He grinned.

"Hey pervy sage, can't you hear that music! ? This is serious! Kakashi-sensei was just cursed by Sasuke!" Naruto shouted.

"Yeah, yeah. I know." Jiraiya emerged completely from the couch, "It's not exactly soundproof in there."

"Look, I just want to know how I can break this curse." I asserted, beginning to grow tired of the constant distractions.

"If you want to break the curse, then you must pay tribute." Jiraiya stated, handing me a slice of bread, "You must offer this piece of untainted Wonderbread to the Great Raven."

Needless to say, this caused me to become even more confused, "How am I supposed to do that?"

Jiraiya chuckled, "You're really clueless, aren't you? Maybe I should accompany you on this quest. We'll have to cross into many other dimensions before we arrive at our destination."

"Let me go with you guys!" Naruto pleaded to Jiraiya.

"No way kid." Jiraiya rejected his request, "You have other obligations to fulfill."

Naruto sniffled, "I know…"

"Now, if we're gonna do this, I better go pack my things." Jiraiya declared, going back inside the couch.

"So why did you break into Sasuke's mansion anyway, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto curiously asked.

"Well, he stole Iruka's eggnog, so I figured he was up to no good."

"Oh, no. That wasn't Sasuke, that was me."

"WHAT! ?"

"I didn't steal it either. Iruka GAVE it to me." Naruto continued.

"Then why did he tell me that Sasuke stole it!"

"I don't know. You know Iruka; he has more memory problems than Dory the fish."

"Who is Dory the fish?" I asked, dumbfounded.

Naruto paused and then responded in a semi-state of shock, "I…I don't know…"

Jiraiya broke the strange silence that followed as he emerged from the couch yet again; this time, with a suitcase.

"What clothing are you POSSIBLY packing that suitcase?" I interrogated, "You never wear anything other than what you have on right now."

"Oh, there's no clothing in here. It's just Suzy." Jiraiya chuckled perversely, "She's inflatable."

I sighed, deciding not to issue a response.

"Come on Kakashi. There's a portal in Sasuke's back yard that leads to the first dimension we must venture through." Jiraiya announced, "Have fun Naruto."

As Jiraiya and I exited through the back door, I glanced back to see a teary-eyed Naruto slowly waving goodbye. To this day, I wish that I could have saved the poor kid from what my imagination tells me he had to experience that night, but it was hard to think much about it at the time due to the fact that there was this huge triumphant horn section playing Jiraiya and I off on our adventure. I still have no idea where the hell that orchestra is, but when I find it, the conductor is going to pay BIG TIME.

IN THE NEXT CHAPTER…

Kakashi and Jiraiya enter the first dimension in their epic quest. Everything seems to be ordinary; until they meet an insane psychopath named Haruhi Suzumiya who wants them to be in her club, the SOS Brigade.