Author: The Wayward Angel
Story: Can You Name The Reference?
Word Count: 1040
Chapter: 1/1
Pairings: None
Spoilers: None
Trigger Warnings: Language
Summary: Strange things have been happening in Night Vale. Things…even stranger than normal. (Can you name all the fandom references?)
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
Unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. Please feel free to point out any grammatical or spelling errors.
Can You Name The Reference?
Say my name. Loki. Say my name. Loki. Say my NAME! LOKI! Welcome…to Night Vale.
Old Woman Josie reports that a new angel visited her today. An angel…in a trench coat. Can you believe that listeners? Surely an angel would have better fashion sense than a trench coat. She says he looks like a holy tax accountant.
Do you remember the Winchester brothers that came through town last week? I don't, but this angel was looking for them. Particularly one with moss green eyes named Dean. Old Woman Josie said the angel didn't stay long, just long enough to ask her a couple of questions before zapping away.
During basketball practice yesterday, Steven Moffat reported hearing a whirring sound before seeing a blue police box appear outside of the Night Vale High School. He says a man calling himself The Doctor stepped out and talked to him about those angel statues in the Dog Park. Can you believe that? I mean, just what is a police box? And I can assure you that there are no angel statues in the Dog Park. Of course, I've never been inside the Dog Park, but surely there can't be a statue of something only Old Woman Josie has seen. Surely.
In other news, a flying hammer crashed in the middle of town today, leaving a crater about two meters wide and one meter deep. No one has been able to move the hammer as of yet, but a small group has formed around the projectile to worship it.
More news on that so called Doctor. It seems that Steven Moffat has gone missing. Just gone, vanished into thin air. The Sheriff's Secret Police are out looking for that so called Doctor and his blue police box, but as no one ever saw it and therefore no one knows what it looks like, it appears as if we may never see Robert again. Our condolences to his family and friends.
The bakery at 221 Baker St. will have their jelly donuts, pies, and pickle chips on sale for twice the original price this month. That is one quarter of the price in –ugh, Desert Bluffs. I'll bet that their pies smell of elderberries.
The Night Vale Historical Society is claiming to have found Loki's original scepter in the basement of their building. That's right listeners, the real scepter of the really real Norse God of Mischief. I'm giddy just thinking about it. The unveiling will be Saturday at 9PM. Maybe Carlos, perfect, beautiful Carlos, will go with me. I can only hope…
And now, a word from our sponsors:
Tired of picking up after your science experiments? Buying your own milk and beans? Making your own tea? Well those at Not Your Housekeeper services will do all this just for you! The only requirements for applying for a Not Your Housekeeper is to be a highly-functioning sociopath, consulting detective, and live in a flat with an ex-Army Captain and Doctor.
Not Your Housekeeper, we'll clean your flat, but we won't be happy about it!
Today John Peters, you know, the farmer, woke with a sense of impending doom. Sure enough, listeners, a giant snake came out of his plumbing. Luckily at the time John Peters, the farmer, was facing a mirror and the giant snake only petrified him. The City Council has urged me to urge you, dear listeners, to carry a mirror at all times and use it to peer around corners. So far there is no cure for the petrification, but we remain optimistic that one will be found.
And now, the weather:
"Risin' up back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive
So many times, it happens too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive
It's the Eye of the Tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all
With the Eye of the Tiger
Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds till' we take to the street
For we kill with the skill to survive
It's the Eye of the Tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all
With the Eye of the Tiger
Risin' up straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive
It's the Eye of the Tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all
With the Eye of the Tiger."
I have an announcement listeners! I am very excited to announce that the scientist Carlos –you know beautiful, perfect, wonderful, lovely Carlos –and I are getting married at the end of the Spring. Yes, you heard me right dear listeners. Of course, Carlos does not know that we will be getting married. But that is just a small detail. The important thing is that I love him, very dearly, and he will love me too. Some day.
I believe that is all the news I have for today Night Vale.
Good night, and good luck.
This week's proverb is: Balls.
This week's weather was The Eye of the Tiger by Survivor.
End
Allie: I'm not sorry. It was fun. Reviews are the cheese to my macaroni!