The First Chapter, 1: Commencing the Initial Opening Start of the Introduction to the First Beginning
It was the darkest and stormiest night of all time. Thunder rocked through the dark and incredibly stormy night. The stormy night was very dark and had a very distinct lack of light. The absence of light was very noticeable as well as the very vicious and loud storm that raged on. With a crack of mighty thunder, Glen the gallant stomped into the inn. Instantly, he was greeted with loud applause and a cacophony of bone-rattling cheering directed exclusively at him that would drive mere mortals insane. He tossed aside his trenchcoat into like, at least 50 maidens-in-waiting and like 30 steadfast and loyal followers. All of whom groveled and marveled at the luxurious leather construction of the finest trenchcoat they have ever laid eyes or hands on, sweeping it away to the secret supermansion that Glen had requisitioned months in advance.
A small boy had slipped through the adoring crowd, and managed to get a word through to the tall dark handsome figure amid the jubilee. "M-Mister" he called out, bringing Glen's stalwart gaze upon him. "A-aren't you g-going to remove your fedora?" he whimpered, looking at the ground. Glen's terrifying eyes softened, and with a grin, he took off his crisp black fedora and placed it on the little boys head. The boy looked up and smiled at his new hero before being blasted in the face with a devastating punch, fedora remaining suspended in mid-air as he rocketed back. He flew like a ragdoll into the crowd, tearing apart the throng of people as his skin flew off his body. He hit the wall with a crash, tearing away the inn's wall. The adoring fans however, were quick to fill the torn wall. They leapt atop one and other, using their body and blood as bricks and mortar to seal the inn away from the stormy and dark night. Before the fedora had a chance to hit the ground, Glen swept it out of the air, placing it back on his head. The inn had grown completely silent, the suspense was palpable. He turned his back to the wall, "Psh, nothing personal, kid. I just don't like people telling me what to do, that's all" he said with a devilish grin. All women within earshot instantly became pregnant, and fell to the ground. Subsequently, all the men's testicles exploded, to avoid the shame of never coming close to Glen's masculinity. The inn was instantly filled with moans of pleasure and screams of pain.
Glen waded through the sea of people writhing on the ground, keeping his posture as he smashed the unworthy with his titanium legs. Each step sent bodies flying, before they landed back into the pool of unwashed masses from which they came. He sat down at the bar, and called out, "Whiskey, neat, the true drink of a gentleman". His chroniclers scurried amongst the bodies desperately scribing down the words which would later be passed into national law. That's when she came. Stepping silently into the room, carrying the majestic heroes drink of choice. She had a subtle beauty about her, enough to avert the gaze from Glen to her, if only for a moment. Glen had become transfixed, immobilized, staring at her agape. "Here's your drink" she said, leaning in, "Hunk".