Burn And Shiver
It was their 6th month 'anniversary', but Dean still felt it was special.
Like every day, every moment he spent with Castiel was special.
He clutched the small, black box at the inside on his leather jacket with conviction. He knew that Cas was happy with whatever, he was that kind of guy who was humbled by the sheer thought of giving a gift to him.
He was sweet like that.
He knocked on the apartment's door and patiently awaited as he herd the shuffling of feet. Soon the door was opened and revealed a very disheveled and tired looking Cas in his office suit.
Dean felt his mood darken. Zachariah kept him in a couple of hours after work again. His boss was such an asshole, he always overworked him and gave him trouble.
He and Cas rarely fought, because Cas had that look that made Dean swallow his words, and really, there wasn't much to fight about between the two of them.
But on a rare occasion, a fight had sprung over Castiel's job.
That night Castiel had come over at Dean's apartment at 9 in the evening, when he was supposed to come at 7. The whole day had been awful on Dean, so he looked forward to spending his time with Cas. But, when he showed up late, Dean was mad. Mad at Cas for being late, mad at Zachariah for keeping him late, and mad at himself for being mad to Cas.
He wanted Castiel to quit his job, because Dean was that kind of guy, when he dislikes something he says it, when he wants something he gets it.
But, Cas was too reasonable, needing the money and whatnot, it's a safe place, it's just this month I swear...
He still wants him to quit.
Seeing him like this at their anniversary isn't worth it.
"Dean."- Castiel sighed his name, with a tired smile, though his expression lightened immediately.
"Cas." –Dean responded in kind, not really able to let himself dwell on how much he hates Zachariah. When presented with that voice and those eyes Dean sort of went dumb.
Castiel leaned in to give Dean a quick peck.
"Come inside." –He said with a smile and spread the door out for Dean.
Dean walked in with a sure step. This place was practically home for him, in a sense. He spent more time here than he did at home. He just liked Castiel's place better than his own.
His own apartment was nice, but he'd only moved there 8 months ago, and soon he met Castiel. And with Castiel everything just sort of stopped. He didn't really have the mind to clean his place up, make it homie. He was busy carving a home for himself in Castiel.
Castiel's apartment was a big place, though it didn't seem that way, because every space was cluttered although everything seemed to have an order.
In his living room was a comfy grey couch with a green quilt over it, a light brown coffee table on which sat various magazines and books, a big shelf filled with books upon books and a gimmick here and there. Like a postcard his brother Gabriel sent him from Calcutta, or that little kiddy drawing Dean did of Castiel.
Dean always felt like a five year old when he saw the drawing, like Castiel was his mother who was so proud of his crayon drawing, she decided to hang it on the fridge.
Though Dean always bothered him about getting rid of the drawing he never really meant it. Castiel always explained that it was symbolic and that he liked the memories it brought. It's true though, the day he'd drawn that and given it to Cas was after three days of no sleep and lots of stops for gas. It was a reminder of their unplanned adventure.
Dean smiled as he spotted the drawing, as he always did when he came to Cas' apartment.
"Hey, uh, wait." –Dean quickly said as he remembered. Castiel stopped undoing his shirt's buttons to give Dean a puzzled look.
"Happy 6th anniversary." –Dean said with a chuckle as he opened the little box and let the soft silk of the tie slip through his fingers as he slung it over Castiel's neck and made a loose knot. It looked good though, the dark red and blue striped gave Castiel a kind of look of empowerment. He smoothened the tie over the slightly naked chest of Castiel with a content smile.
"Dean... I didn't buy you anything, I wasn't aware that..."
"You're never aware. Besides it's not even a real anniversary. I just thought I'd buy you something, you know..." – Dean said calmly, giving Castiel's dazed face a slight kiss. Cas never troubled himself with following their relationship's span. Dean would fret over it because this was really the longest Dean had ever been with anyone, male or female. So he liked to congratulate himself every month with giving Cas a gift. Mostly to thank Cas for not getting bored of him.
And Cas would always get flustered and mumble something about "awareness" and Dean would just shut him up with a kiss.
Which turned into a full on make out session. Castiel giving his all and Dean taking it all.
When Castiel kissed him Dean felt everything Castiel's stoic words couldn't express. He made him feel passionate, happy, cherished, wanted, needed, even sexy. Like he was worth to Castiel.
"Dean I... I want to ask something of you." –Castiel pulled back, his voice a little strangled, huskier than before.
It was his voice that first got his attention. He went often to the bar where he first saw him. It was in the first month of moving here, and in his own sorrows of finding a job, settling down, being angry at his brother for leaving for Stanford, he often went to the bar to get drunk, maybe even find a lay.
And that voice, a simple order of whiskey, and Dean's attention was peeked.
"Anything." –Dean responded in an equally husky voice, sliding his knuckles over Castiel's stubble. And he meant it.
"I... I really want to take a bath with you." –Castiel mumbled quietly, and Dean wouldn't have caught it if he wasn't so attuned with everything Castiel did.
His eyebrows shot up in surprise.
You see the thing with Castiel was, with their relationship, was that they'd never had sex.
Six months and no sex.
They've slept together naked, they've eaten breakfast together naked, they've played Assassins Creed together naked, they've even danced together naked (although they've never discussed it as neither is sure if it was a dream or if they really were that drunk that night ).
So, really it shouldn't have been such a big deal.
Except this was, water and naked and dripping and bodies touching, pressed close and...
And Dean really wanted to do it.
"Sure." –Dean said with a smile, dropping a quick kiss to the plush spit slick lips of Castiel.
"Come on." –He took Castiel's hand in his own, giving a reassuring smile to the still flustered face of Castiel. He walked backwards to the bathroom eyes still set on Castiel's blue, glowing ones.
Inside he closed the door behind, dropping Castiel's hand and reaching for the bathtub. He knew his place by heart, turning the faucet at just the right degree, making the water hot but not burning.
So, yeah, he'd had more showers here than he can count, he's not ashamed of it.
He put the plug in place, and just as the water began growing he turned away to start taking his jacket off.
"No, wait." –But Castiel's voice stopped him.
"Let me." –He said as he walked the distance between them. Dean froze in place, as Castiel's hand slowly glided through his chest, taking the worn lapels between his hands and slipping it past his shoulders.
Dean felt all kinds of warm, from Castiel's gaze who he never broke, from Castiel's hands, from the steam wrapping around them.
Castiel's fingers clutched at the hem of his shirt, his eyes darting to Dean's who took the silent request and pulled his arms up, letting Castiel pull the shirt over him.
Once his vision was no longer blinded by the discarded shirt, he watched as Castiel's eyes raked over his body in a way he'd never had.
He put a warm hand on his stomach and Dean's lungs hitched.
"It's my turn." –Dean spoke with a chuckle breaking Castiel's daze, who turned his owlish eyes back to him, with an amused smile.
He undid the tie he'd bought him with steady fingers, and just as he was going to discard it, Castiel's hand stopped his. He took his hand, tie still clutched, and brought it to his lips, giving Dean's knuckles a soft kiss, all the while keeping eyes contact.
Cas had this intensity about him, like he could take any little moment and make it a thousand times more meaningful.
He slid the tie away from Dean's now shaking fingers, folded it carefully and put it on the counter, underneath the big, wide mirror.
Dean's hands once again moved to Castiel's shirt, fingers trembling a little as he undid button after button, until, once again, Castiel's hands stopped him.
And now, nervous as Dean was he chanced a glance at Castiel, and again he was captivated by his eyes. Castiel smiled with his eyes. And his smile spoke of trust. And he did.
He relaxed immediately, getting the grace back in his movements, steadily pulling the shirt off Castiel's shoulders.
Once again, he got to see Castiel's naked chest, and though he'd witnessed it enough, it was like a brand new light had shone over him. Like he was allowed to see more into the naked flesh before him.
Soon, Castiel stepped closer, taking Dean's belt in his hands and working it open, sliding it out of the loops in one fluid movement.
Dean couldn't quite understand what was so sexy about Castiel pulling his belt out with such conviction, the brown leather snapping into his hands.
He undid the button with a flick of a wrist and proceeded to pull the zipper down slowly, Dean's breath hitching at the movement. As he pulled the pants down his legs along with his underwear, he squatted down to his knees, Dean raising one foot after another to help dispose of them. And with the pants off, he slipped his socks off with as much finesse as he did the rest of his clothing.
Squatted there, as he rose his head, he caressed Dean's legs, circling the ankle bone with his thumb and up to his calves where he gripped for support as he leaned forward to kiss at his knees. He mouthed at the hills of bone that stood there, making Dean's body shudder with emotion. It wasn't a sexually arousing task, it was an intimate one.
Castiel looked up, his blue eyes shining with so much feelings, and Dean took him by the shoulders, pulling him up to kiss the life out of him, to express to him how much this all means.
Breaking the kiss, Dean moved back, having a breathless Castiel look over him with glazed eyes.
He quickly undid Castiel's belt, not bothering to slide it off, making work of the button and zipper, quick to get him naked and just, kiss him, kiss all of him.
As he slid to the floor much in the same position as Castiel was, he pulled the pants down hastily, briefs jumbling down to his feet and taking the socks off in one swift movement. And then he had Castiel naked for him, and just for him.
He always thought Cas' feet were cute.
He slid up to full height, bending over to trace his lips along his collarbones, gliding his tongue along the pronounced bones, feeling Castiel's lungs move beneath him.
He kissed upwards Castiel's neck, lapping at his Adam's apple, feeling it bob as Castiel let out a shudder.
Finally he locked his lips with Castiel's own, guiding his tongue through the warm cavern of Castiel's mouth.
"Get in." –His voice rasped with affection leads Dean to the tub.
He aligned himself in the comforting warm of the water, watching as Castiel slipped in on the opposite side of him, shutting the faucet off in the process.
The quiet that descended over them was one thick with emotions. Dean carefully roamed his eyes over the image of Castiel, lover half buried in water, legs peaking out of the water, damp hair, and tiny droplets over his arms that rest on either side of the tub.
And that smile. That content smile, like this is where he always wants to be.
"Come here." –He sayed with a stretched arm, hand opened to grasp Dean's. He took the offered hand, and found himself slowly pulled towards and turned so his back was pressed against Castiel's chest.
He let out a sigh, as Castiel's arms folded themselves around Dean's chest, feeling the bent of his head as he pressed kisses at the back of his neck. He let his head drop backwards over Castiel's shoulder, giving him access to the rest of his throat. Castiel took the silent cue and kissed upwards his throat, Dean shutting his eyes closed at the feeling.
"I love you so much, Cas." –Dean said with lidded eyes.
Saying those words never came as easily as it did with Castiel. Even when he had in his older relationships it always came with a question. Was it safe, was he loved back, did he mean it, should he have said it. But with Cas, everything is just there, and he knows there is no question in his statement.
Castiel's answer was his hands traveling downwards Dean's chest and giving his slowly hardening cock a squeeze.
Dean gave a startled yelp at the sensation. Cas had never touched him like that.
They've had a fair share of intimate moments but they never passed to sex.
At first, Dean was bothered by the lack of sex in their relationship. Actually, he was quite confused. Castiel would touch him, kiss him and hold him like he was precious, but when Dean's hands went to explore another possibility in their relationship Cas would take his hands, smile that smile that made him feel like a 5 year old, and give him a kiss on the forehead, always on the forehead.
But then, miraculously Dean stopped pushing him, and sort of even forgot about it. Castiel, just, seemed to offer so much more with the time they spent together, and Dean came to understand that Castiel actually waited for him, rather than Dean was waiting for Cas. He was waiting for when Dean was prepared.
And, thinking back on it, it was a smart decision on Cas' behalf.
"Would you allow me, Dean?" –Castiel whispered in his ear, just as a shudder ran through him at the slow pull of his cock.
"Fuck yeah, Cas." –Dean said with a low, quiet moan, as he turned his body to face Castiel, the water swiveling around him, wrapping his arms around Castiel's shoulders.
"No, I mean, I want to do make love to you here. Fully." –Castiel spoke as he dodged the kiss Dean was about to give him. And through Dean's haze a sudden realization hit him, as he felt Cas' hand travel down his back, and between his cheeks to tease his entrance with a finger.
"Cas..." –Dean said with a whimper, rocking his hips back into Cas' hand.
Now, Dean wasn't known to be a bottom. In fact he'd never let a guy fuck him, he was always the one doing the banging.
But, he liked playing with himself, and he liked toys and he liked experimenting. So it's not like he hadn't had experience there. Oh boy, did he ever.
But, to him, bottoming was something... Intimate. Something he couldn't give to a guy he'd met in a bar ( although, come to think of it, he did meet Cas in a bar...).
He wanted to be with a patient guy, somebody who wouldn't hurry him, take his time in preparation, be mindful of his first experience, take him slowly and guide him through it, and stop if Dean asked him to. And a bathroom hookup just couldn't provide that ( even though they were in a bathroom now).
But, Cas could.
"Just, please, before you start, I... I haven't done it, before, the real thing." –Dean rasped, his cheeks growing red, not from the heat of the steam but from embarrassment.
"You've never bottomed?" –Cas asked with a quirked eyebrow, his single finger still gliding absently between Dean.
"No. I, mean I've played with myself, but, never the... you know." –Dean felt like a teenager when his mother first caught him masturbating.
"I know, I know..." –Castiel mumbled the words, his finger giving slight pressure to his puckering hole, eliciting another helpless moan from Dean.
"Do you not want to?" –Castiel's attention snapped from Dean's backside over to his eyes in an instant, his hand yanking away, leaving Dean hungry for the touch below.
"Cas, I've been practically begging you to fuck me these past months and if you don't do so know, so help me God I will-" –But, his sentence was left unfinished as his words were swallowed by the passionate gliding tongue of Castiel's mouth in his own.
And soon after, the hand took its place where Dean felt it belonged, joined in by Castiel's other hand, squeezing and massaging his cheek.
"Do you want lube?" –Castiel broke the heated kiss once more to speak, a slight trickle of spit connecting their lips, which Dean soon took care of as he leaned in to peck at Cas' lips.
"Nah, I think the water's got me good." –The warmth had him relaxed and the need made him open as the first hard push of Cas' finger came inside of him.
It felt so strange to have someone else's fingers inside of him. Although it wasn't foreign, it was Cas doing the prodding, and the finger that worked him was one of skilled movements, like, even Dean who had explored himself fully wasn't familiar with the tactics Cas pulled off.
There was no pain, like his first several tries of opening himself, only that slight, comforting burn that promised great pleasure.
"Am I hurting you?" –Came the soft, pleading tone of Cas' voice, as Dean shut his eyes in concentration.
"Fuck no, Cas. More..." –He moaned, as he thrust his hips downward Cas' hand, his own hands resting absently on Castiel's chest.
And his plea was answered as another finger joined in, reaching deeper within him, making him squirm as his prostate was spotted. Dean always had a hard time reaching that peak inside of him.
He rubbed himself over Castiel's body, desperate for friction of his own aching cock.
And then he remembered how selfish he was, and opened his eyes to see Castiel watching his face with admiration and his eyes shining with passion and purpose.
He slowly slipped his hand from Cas' chest down into the warm water, gripping at the hardness he found there. This evoked a soft growl past Castiel's plush lips, his eyes squinting at the edges.
"Fuck me, Cas." –Dean felt the words pass his lips, voice thick with want.
"Anything you wish." –Castiel responded with simplicity in his voice, and with that the skilled fingers left him, making him feel hallow, but he knew something bigger and better was about to replace them.
Castiel took his body by the sides and slid his hips on either side of him, pushing him so Dean hovered just slightly above him.
God bless Cas for buying a big tub.
He angled Dean just right, giving him space to move, and Dean clutched mindlessly at Castiel's shoulders, anxious to be full.
"You will tell me if it hurts and you will most certainly tell me if I should stop." –How could Cas pull his 'no bullshit' voice with such clarity in a situation like this was out of Dean's spectrum of understanding.
Still, even if Cas could find that mindset, Dean couldn't find his own to bicker with him, so he just nodded hastily.
Soon, he felt the soft, yet urgent push of flesh against him, and Dean surprised even himself as he seemed to simply blossom around Castiel's cock, taking him in greedily, almost pulling him in.
Sure, there was a slight hiss of pain, but the pleasure and the implications that came with the moment shadowed over it.
Dean thought that being entered by a man would be not much different than a dildo, but God was it ever. When Dean played with himself he knew he had complete control of the situation, that he was the one doing the movements, but know, with that hot, full flesh inside of him, pushing up slowly, hesitatingly, Dean knew he could never even think of replacing this with a plastic stick.
"Does it... hurt?" –Came Castiel's raspy growl of a voice.
"It's amazing." –The words flew through Dean's mouth before he could catch them. He opened his eyes to chance an embarrassed glance at Cas, who eyed him with an amused and lovable smile, through half lidded, glazed eyes.
"Move." –Dean ordered in a brisk manner, and he was rewarded with a sudden and strong push. He moaned an embarrassingly loud yelp, his eyes widening with the surprise of the impact, his fingers grazing Castiel's skin at the shoulders, leaving burning red traces over pale, white skin.
"Can't you handle it?" –Castiel quirked with an obvious tone of self-satisfaction in his voice.
"If anybody can handle you, Cas, it's me." –Dean let the words out in a huff of breath barely getting them through, as the sensation of Castiel's cock pulled slowly downwards and sharply up, all the while holding Dean in place by his hips.
"I know. That's why I love you, Dean." –Castiel responded with a smile, as he craned his neck upwards to meet Dean's huffing lips, swallowing all of his moans and pants.
And this is why Dean loved Cas.
Because he had the deepest voice that could put Leonard Cohen to shame, because he wore glasses when he read, because he had the driest sense of humor, because he still collected comic books that Dean didn't need to borrow because he could read them with him, because he cooked hamburgers when Dean asked him to, because he put up with him when he was angry, because he listened to him like his words made a difference.
But most of all because he held him like he mattered. Like he was precious, like he meant so much. Like when he'd stir in bed because of a nightmare, and Cas' arms would close around him protectively even in his own sleep. Like it was in his basic instinct to protect Dean.
And here, in his apartment, in the bathtub, water splashing around them, cooled off to mild warmth, as they made love felt like this was what Dean had been waiting for his whole life.
And he finally had it.
Between his fingers as they squeezed bruises into Castiel's skin, in his mouth as it brought moans out, against his body as it moved inside him, he had it.
And dammit, if he was letting it go.
As their tempo sped up, every thrust seemingly hitting his sweet spot, their climax began to rise.
Dean was the first one to let go after holding on, trying everything to prolong the pleasure, but Castiel felt too good. He came with a loud cry against Castiel's stubble, breaking the kiss to exclaim his satisfaction, not having lucidity to stifle himself.
He felt himself contract around Castiel's cock, and evidently this was all Castiel needed, soon following him down the edge, as he came too with a deep, guttural growl. Dean felt himself being filled with hot liquid and he cherished the feeling that no plastic toy could ever bring him.
They sat frozen like that while they were catching their breath, still clutched together, panting and huffing in the afterglow.
"Cas..." –Dean sighed breathlessly.
"Yes, Dean?" –Came Castiel's drunken tone.
"Water's cold... And we're dirty." –Dean said with a slight scowl, aware of their surroundings once more.
"Shower it is then." –Castiel's smile could be heard in his voice as he pushed up to give Dean a quick peck, and dislodged himself out of Dean's warmth.
Six months and it was the best anniversary gift Dean ever got.
So, wow for me because this is probably the longest fic I've written since, ever! It's weird for me, because I can write an established relationship fic in which I keep going back to the past, but I can't seem to work up a relationship without getting frustrated. Woe is me.
However I hope you all felt the love in this fic and I hope it brought you a lady boner. Or a manly boner full of manly boneress.
And if you review I will gift you with one, if you hadn't already acquired one. Or even if you did, you get another one for free.
Cheers!