He should have been home a half hour ago Mikey realized as he spotted the large clock embedded into the wall above the main entrance to a department store. Normally that would have sent him scuttling to the nearest sewer entrance, but tonight Mikey merely grinned.

Tonight was one of those times when his entire family was too preoccupied with their own doings to notice that Mikey was missing in action. Raph and Casey were once more competing over which of them could get the most torque from their motorcycles and would be at it for hours.

Don was on his computer with April, going over some sciency stuff that Mikey didn't understand and didn't want to understand. When they had started spouting a bunch of ten dollar words though, it meant they were totally going to lose track of time.

Of course Leo was doing what he normally did when they weren't out patrolling; he was practicing. Master Splinter was guiding him as usual, teaching him something new because Leo simply did not know how to have fun.

Mikey had intended to stay in and watch a couple of movies, but Master Splinter kept casting disapproving eyes in his direction. It was hard to get into the fight scene between the three headed bear and the youthful campers when you were expecting to be dragged in to spar with your perfectionist brother at any minute.

The first opportunity he got, Mikey had grabbed his trench coat and beat a hasty retreat from the lair. There wasn't a lot to do topside, so after stretching his legs with a good long run, Mikey had started window shopping.

Wearing the coat and with a knit cap on his head, Mikey wasn't too concerned about anyone freaking out over his appearance. The stores were all closed and a light snowfall combined with the darkness to keep most people inside for the evening.

Most but not all. As he strolled along the sidewalk, Mikey caught the faint sounds of music in the distance. Curious, he started in the direction it was coming from, but after a few seconds it faded out. He stopped, thinking maybe it had been from a passing car, but then he heard it again.

The music came and went intermittently during the next eight minutes, the amount of time it took for Mikey to track down where the sounds emanated from. When he finally located it, Mikey saw that what he'd been looking for was a small club. Each time the entrance door was opened, music from inside spilled out into the night air.

Standing in the shadows around the corner from the club, Mikey waited for the door to open again, thinking he might catch a glimpse of the interior. Hanging out in clubs was another of those things that as a mutant turtle he couldn't do, but he could still live vicariously through others.

When he heard voices approaching, Mikey pressed closer to the building where he was hiding, anticipating that they were headed for the club. As soon as the trio of people came into sight though, Mikey had to do a double take.

All three were dressed in animal outfits. One was a giant rabbit, the second a fox, and the third a moose, complete with antlers.

As Mikey watched, the trio went directly to the club and entered. While the door was open Mikey saw vague forms outlined by the strobe lights within. They were all animal shaped.

"Costume party?" Mikey asked himself, speaking aloud. "Weird time of year for one, but whatever. This is my chance to find out what club life is like."

Figuring that he could get away with wearing his belt and pads, Mikey removed his cap, coat, and mask. He remembered that clubs usually had bouncers who would boot him out if they saw his weapons, Mikey folded his nunchaku into his coat.

In the nearest alley behind a building with a fire escape, Mikey jumped up and tucked the bundle between a metal support post and the brick work. A casual observer wouldn't notice it up so high, hidden in the shadows, and Mikey wouldn't have to worry about some homeless guy helping himself.

The thought that Master Splinter or Leo would have a fit if they knew what he was doing never entered Mikey's mind as he waited for a car to pass before crossing the street. When he reached the door to the club, Mikey opened it and went in.

Loud thrumming music hit him first, like a hand shoving against his chest. It took a minute for him to catch his breath and allow his body to adjust to such deep bass. When Mikey felt like he had his bearings, he walked farther inside and looked around.

As clubs went, the space wasn't very large. There was no one manning the door, no one collecting a cover charge, but there was a bouncer standing off to one side. The big, burly fellow stood with his arms crossed and a slightly disapproving look on his face. He was the only person in the room not dressed in an animal costume.

With some surprise, Mikey noticed that everyone else was some sort of animal. There were no princesses, or pirates, or nurses, or doctors – just animals. Shrugging, Mikey decided that it must be an animal themed costume party. Lucky him, he fit right in.

On a small stage in one corner was a man dressed as a tiger who was apparently the party DJ. The electronics spread out in front of him would have made Donatello envious. It was amazing how much sound the equipment produced.

He'd only taken a couple of steps further before a grinning porcupine popped up in front of him, holding a jar full of money.

"Gotta pitch in for the guard and the DJ," the man in the costume said excitedly, obviously doing his duty by rote, clearly more interested in returning to the party then collecting funds.

Dismayed, Mikey said, "Aww dude, I'm tapped out. It looks like a boss party though. Guess I'll take off."

He'd turned to leave when a woman dressed as a raccoon stepped up, tucked her arm into his, and told the money keeper, "He's with me."

She dropped a couple of bills into the jar and half dragged Mikey to the dance floor.

"Um, thanks for paying my way in," Mikey said.

"You can return the favor by dancing with me," the raccoon said. "That doofus ferret over there has been hitting on me and won't take no for an answer. I don't want to have to leave the party right when it's getting good."

She had already started moving so Mikey did likewise, thrilled to have a chance to actually dance with someone inside a club. He must have been doing something right, because before long the raccoon was dancing very close to him.

Running a hand along his arm, the raccoon said, "Damn! Those are real muscles, not padding! I thought I was imagining it earlier but you really are pumped."

"I work out a lot," Mikey said proudly. As if to emphasize the statement, he did a quick backflip, followed by a split, bounding upwards to grab her hand and spin her.

"Wow," the raccoon said breathlessly as Mikey dipped her and then pulled her upright.

"So, what's the occasion for the party?" Mikey asked. "I'm new around here."

"I knew you were," the raccoon said, clinging to his shoulders. "We've never had a turtle in the group before. This is the regular monthly meeting of the furry society."

"Furry . . . ." Mikey stopped to think for a minute and then realized what he'd stepped into. "Oh, people who role play animals."

Giggling, the raccoon said, "Yes silly. What, did someone just tell you to put on a turtle costume and show up here?"

"Sort of," Mikey said, since admitting a certain level of ignorance was easier than trying to pretend he knew what was going on.

"Well, I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself," the raccoon said suggestively, smoothing her fur covered hands across his shoulders. "I'll make certain of that."

Mikey had never been in a situation where he felt quite so flustered. He'd entered with the idea of having a good time, but it was pretty clear now that the raccoon woman was hitting on him. He had to admit to himself that he was flattered, but he didn't quite know what to do about her attentions.

Off to one side of the dance floor Mikey saw a polar bear and a black bear scratching each other's backs.

"What are they doing?" Mikey asked, nodding in the direction of the bears.

The raccoon glanced over and then back at Mikey. "That's called skritching. You have to get into the lingo. When we're inside the club, we're not allowed to engage in yiffing or fur piles. Not that I go in much for those, they can get messy. The spooge you know."

Mikey didn't know but from the way she said it he could guess. "In their costumes?" he asked.

"Yes. Some of us have sex in our costumes. That's why they're made of material that can be easily cleaned," the raccoon said. "Though yours probably takes less maintenance than most."

Her hands were exploring the hard plates of his chest and Mikey swallowed. "Yeah, I can wash and dry pretty easily," he replied, feeling more than a little silly.

"I'll bet," the raccoon said, leaning in close. "You know, I avoid the rest of these losers regularly. They dress like virile animals but wind up having no stamina. I'll bet you have stamina though, don't you?"

To cover his embarrassment, Mikey took her in his arms and danced her around the floor, performing steps he'd only ever seen on television. Much to the raccoon's credit, she kept up with him.

"I can dance all night," Mikey bragged once they slowed down.

"Just dance?" the raccoon asked eagerly.

Before Mikey could answer, a coyote approached them. An obviously feminine voice said, "Okay Vickie, you've hogged him long enough. I want to dance with . . . what name do you go by honey?"

Blinking, Mikey said, "Mikey."

"Mikey Turtle. You're very unique. Come dance with me," the coyote said, tugging him away from Vickie raccoon.

Without even a second to think about it, Mikey found himself in the new woman's arms. Encouraging him to move with her, they were soon halfway across the dance floor, leaving the raccoon to stare after them.

"Vickie is a snob," the coyote said. "She won't skritch and she turns her nose up if anyone starts to talk about yiff. I was surprised to see her feeling you up, but now I know why she was doing it. Most of the guys around here are really thin or very blobby. You've got a super fine body under that turtle wear."

"Th . . . thanks," Mikey stuttered as she reached down to grope his ass.

"We could sneak out of here," the coyote said, her head very close to his.

"I . . . uh, Vickie paid my way in, it wouldn't be right to just leave," Mikey said quickly.

"Oh my god, that's so cute," the coyote said, throwing her head back to laugh. "Not only are you built, but you have a sense of loyalty. Don't worry baby, she already got her money's worth."

Mikey had no idea how to respond to that or how to extricate himself from his current situation. Hooking up with a random woman in an animal costume was not at the top of his bucket list.

"My turn Ginny," a high-pitched male voice said as the wolf it belonged to pushed his way between them.

"He likes the female of the species Wolfie," Ginny coyote said, still clinging to Mikey's arm.

"How would you know?" Wolfie wolf retorted snidely. "You and that other bitch haven't given the poor guy room to breathe."

Wolfie wolf shoved against Ginny coyote's hand, dislodging it from Mikey's arm, and then danced the confused turtle backwards away from the woman.

"The women around here can be such pigs when it comes to new talent," Wolfie wolf said. He laughed. "Pigs. They should all change their costumes, but then that would give pigs a bad name, wouldn't it?"

The music was laying down a fast beat, one that wasn't suited for partner dancing, but the wolf held tightly to Mikey. He was tall and lean with a long enough reach so that one arm could go around Mikey's carapace while he used the other to stroke the grooves in Mikey's scutes.

"Man, this feels so real," the wolf said. "Like your fine muscles. Where have you been all my life?"

"In . . . uh, in New York," Mikey said, utterly baffled at the treatment he was receiving. So far this whole club party scene seemed to be an excuse for people in animal costumes to find sex partners for the evening.

Wolfie wolf giggled. "You're such a card!" he exclaimed coyly. "If you wanted to go back to my place I could give you a couple of drinks and who knows? Maybe pretty much anything else you might want."

"I didn't really come here to . . . ." Mikey began, starting to feel panicked. He was interrupted by the fast approach of both Ginny coyote and Vickie raccoon.

"Hands off," Ginny coyote said, pulling Wolfie wolf's arm off of Mikey's shell.

"I saw him first," Vickie raccoon said, stomping on Wolfie wolf's fur covered foot.

"Ouch! Bitch!" Wolfie wolf yelled, slapping Vickie raccoon.

The furries around them stopped dancing and moved back, sensing a fight. "You guys stop!" Mikey exclaimed. "We're supposed to be having a good time."

Ginny coyote stepped in front of him, her face right against Mikey's. "Let's leave these two to their fight and cut out of here."

The coyote was suddenly jerked back. "That's my territory!" Vickie raccoon shrieked.

All three of them started yelling at each other and Mikey backed up. They were soon loud enough to be heard over the music and that's when the shoving began.

When the bouncer pushed onlookers aside and barreled into the midst of the quarrelsome threesome, Mikey made a hasty exit from the club.

Dashing across the street, Mikey retrieved his hidden gear and made for the roof tops as fast as he could climb. Once he was a couple of blocks away from the club, he tied on his mask, tucked his weapons into his belt, and donned his coat and cap.

For a moment he just stood there, enjoying the silence and the light dusting of snow that surrounded him.

Finally shaking his head, Mikey said out loud, "Humans are weird. I never knew so many of them wanted to be just like me."

Taking a deep breath at the oddity of nature, Mikey made a beeline for home.