Slight AU, Slash (don't like don't read), Rated M for safety (I guess it's not that explicit, but just to be sure)

'Sighs' I love when Ryo gets bold (to boldly go where... oooops, wrong fandom)

Disclaimer: Fake and it's characters belong to Sanami Matoh, not me. I own nothing except the plot.

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About Courage

I'm so damn tired that I could fall asleep right here and now. All I can hope is that we don't need to go out of the office today for some case or the other. Sitting at my desk is enough for today even if I have too much time thinking about the reason for my lack of sleep. Ryo of course. He is all I can think about lately and while he seems to be oblivious to my state of mind it will stay like this forever as it seems. When I went to bed yesterday I began to think about him and our whole relationship-or-not-thing. So many things went through my mind and they all wanted to be the first thing to be thought over so I just lay there and tried to sort my mind while time went by way too fast. My alarm didn't wake me up for I didn't get even one hour of sleep last night. All thanks to this handsome man who sits opposite me and works like there is no tomorrow… I close my eyes, just for a few seconds, just trying to make them feel better but when I wake up I nearly jump out of my skin because I feel heavy hands on my shoulders. Ryo's hands and for a split second he seems considering giving me a small massage but then he decides against it and gets back to his chair.

"You haven't slept much last night, have you?" He asks and I want to snort at this comment. Sherlock would be proud of you! I bite back all sarcastic comments that pop up in my head and look up at him. He seems to care, right? But then he would for every other detective and officer in this building because… well, this is Ryo. Sweet, beautiful, compassionate Ryo. I sigh and nod without saying a word. What should I say? 'Yes, Ryo. Thanks for all the fantasies of you that keep me awake at least once a week.'? He would just drop the topic, turn a slight and adorable shade of pink before getting back to his work. "You know it can be dangerous on this job if you are not fully awake, Dee?" How I love when he says my name. Like a teenager who feels happy that the prettiest girl in school remembered his name. It doesn't make me proud that I feel this way but I cannot help it because he is always there, always so nice to me like I'm in his league and worth being cared for while I know that I'm just some street rat who doesn't match his manner or intellect. I sigh again and close my eyes. "Dee!" Louder this time. "If you cannot stay awake just go home and get some rest!"

"Ryo, I wouldn't sleep now if I went home so I can as well stay here and try to get some work done." He looks at me his large brown eyes full of doubt but with a shrug he lets the topic slip and looks back at his screen. I do too but I do not see anything except Ryo's face and want to howl in frustration but instead I get up to get me a coffee and a tea for Ryo. When I do something at least I won't fall asleep. The whole way to the small kitchen at the precinct I think about Ryo. It's all I can do lately which is very unnerving for I cannot think another clear thought while he wanders around in my head. I need an answer from him I want to know if he is interested or just curious and too nice to tell me to leave him alone. I have seen this before: men who are not sure if they are into other men. They want to try and see how far they will go but for me it has always been kind of a game. But with Ryo it's so different from any other person I ever found attractive. He is not only that – attractive – he is also smart, clever, witty, intelligent, compassionate, caring, calm, spirited, patient, … the list has no end. One night I even lay awake and tried to find some negative aspects about Ryo and even those I found were nothing compared to his better side.

Ryo is a bit distant at some times and unsure of himself. And when has an aim set he heads straight for his target, no matter what. Hell… I sigh and roll my eyes. These are not even bad characteristics if you look at them in the right light. They can get on my nerves but that's it. Okay, so Ryo's just perfect. At least for me and that is okay because I'm totally in love with him. Right, there I thought it. But I will not tell him yet, maybe never. Deep in thoughts I pour me a coffee and brew some tea for him before heading back to our office. He still sits in front of his screen like he hasn't moved since I went out. When I hand him his tea he looks up at me and turns a deep red. Wow, he is so damn sexy when he blushes even if I don't know why getting a cup of tea is a reason to blush.

"Dee…" he begins with his eyes looking everywhere but at me. This seems so strange that I want to grab him and shake him until he tells me what's wrong with him. "I…er… Bikky's not at home tonight, sleeping over at Carol's and I'm in no mood to cook, so… would you mind going out with me? Nothing fancy, just this new Chinese restaurant downtown. They say it's very good and I'm curious. I would go by myself but I thought you'd like it, too, so…?" Aww… I'm just about to melt, my face hardly staying calm while he talks. This is not about Chinese food, my dear Ryo and we both know. My hearts skips a beat than runs at double speed. Trying to look normal and not like a 16 year old girl I simply nod. Ryo smiles brightly and I cannot help but smile, too. He is so damn beautiful but I guess he doesn't even know. "I'll come over and get you at seven." He adds and gets back to work, his cheeks a deep crimson by now. If this was just about asking a friend out for a nice evening he wouldn't blush like this. I float over to my chair, my feet barely touching the ground I so feel like flying. Ryo asked me out… I cannot wait for my shift to end.

++++

Finally, finally the day is over and it is just half an hour until Ryo will pick me up. I cannot sit still and so I use the opportunity to wash my dished and clean the kitchen completely. When Ryo arrives my kitchen sparkles like a new one and I'm contend with myself. Yes, very nice. I turn around and look at Ryo standing in the doorway of the kitchen with a laugh on his velvety lips. "Do you want to cook at home?" he asks while looking around. I cannot help myself, I'm so awfully drawn to him that I come closer to him and carefully place a feather light kiss on his lips. Every fiber of my being screams for more but I stand back and take in his reaction. His arms are still crossed in front of his chest and leaning against the doorframe like he is completely calm. He never is when I kiss him, I always manage to make him edgy and uneasy but today he just looks relaxed. And still so breathtakingly beautiful. His eyes never leave mine so that I have to be careful not to melt into a quivering puddle of hormones. No living person walking this earth had ever had the ability to do that to me and I hate and love him that he is the one who can.

"We can stay here, if you want to…" I offer. My fridge is full of things waiting to be cooked we would not starve. Ryo just gives a small nod and takes off his jacket. It surprises me and I follow him back to my living room where he stands, clearly unsure of what to do next.

"I… we need to talk, Dee." Ryo says and my heart jumps up into my throat just to go on beating in this uncomfortable place. Whenever someone says this sentence something happens and I have made the experience that it's mostly bad what follows. So I come into the living room and make a gesture towards my sofa. With slow and graceful movements the beautiful creature sits down and I place myself next to him. When he goes on he looks at his hands in his lap.

"I have made some serious thinking about us. I thought a restaurant would be a good place for a talk like this but… I guess this is way better." Hell, don't pussyfoot Ryo, tell me you love me, tell me to leave you but don't kill me with letting me wait any longer. "This was a joke for you at first, I know." I want to say something, that this is not the way I'd put it, but he silences me with a gesture of his hand. "But this got more and more serious and even when I pushed you away sometimes you stayed at my heels and chased me." Chase? Like some deer? "But I need to know something, Dee. It is of great importance to me." Oh Gods. I want to faint or run away but his gaze captures me. "Do you love me?" His voice is so soft I nearly overheard these words that completely caught me off guard. I do not have to think about it and so I decide to be honest. He deserves and I don't want to hide anything from him.

"I do, Ryo. I love you so much it hurts sometimes." I confess, all my heart and soul pouring into these few word. The angel in front of me closes his eyes nevertheless I can see a tear escape. Is he happy? Or afraid that he will hurt me deeper than he thought he would? He shivers slightly and I reach out my hand to caress his cheek with my fingers. He instantly leans into the touch, then throws his arms around me, crushing me in a hug that knocks my breath out of me. Woah! This is a good sign, at least it feels like this. "You're trembling, Dee." Ryo notices and I try to suppress a slight sob. I still don't know what he wants to tell me but my feelings are on a rollercoaster right now.

"I'm afraid. I hope. You're so serious and I don't know where this may lead." I answer honestly. Ryo smiles, a true and heart-warming smile that reaches his eyes, makes them sparkle and I want to melt. Again. Ryo grabs the sides of my face and pulls me closer, his lips gently brushing over mine which makes me shiver again and he can feel it, I know. Before he sits back I steal another feather light kiss. This is when he surprises me most. His hands on my cheeks wander to the back of my head where he grabs strands of my black hair to deepen the kiss. Oh Gods… Ryo has never done this and I'm very sure he doesn't know what he's doing to me when his tongue darts out and slowly opens my lips to deepen the kiss. I swear I will never forget this sweet moment when he forces me to lie on my back so that he can position himself above me and I willingly let him do what he wants. I want this, more than I ever wanted anything in my whole life. Ryo grabs my hands and presses them down onto the sofa, I feel a bit helpless but in the best way possible. My senses suffer from overload while the kiss doesn't end, I know that he can feel my body react to his ministrations and I can feel that this effects him in more than one way, too.

I don't dare to open my eyes when Ryo sits up and shifts his weight. If this is a dream I don't want to wake up, I want to enjoy this as long as possible. But I can feel him, his hands press against my chest, he is waiting for me to look at him and so I do. I would do everything to make him happy. I may seem like a loud-mouthed, no-shit, never caring man but where Ryo's concerned I can't help myself. "Look at me." He demands and this is what I do. My eyes were closed for only three minutes but I swear he is more beautiful than ever. This is what I think every time I look at him. I'm helpless. "I love you." He whispers and I close my eyes again, trying not to come right here and now. He still smiles when I look at him, more than shocked. I was sure I wouldn't hear those words for another three years. "I just thought I'd let you know." He adds when I still gape at him. He is not used to me being speechless.

"Say it again." Is all I can manage after another minute and he bents down, slowly licking his way from my neck up to my ear. I didn't know he was into torture. "I love you." He whispers into my ear, making sure his warm breath caresses the shell so that I shiver under him. He enjoys that he has so much power over me, I can clearly see it in his eyes and his teasing does not stop. My brain was busy working on the sensation of his breath and I haven't noticed his hands slide under my shirt and over my abdomen. He gently touches the muscles, shoves the shirt up and exposes more and more skin. "Ryo…" I whisper for lack of words. His name and face are the only things I can see and think, the house could burn down, now, and I wouldn't notice as long as he lies above me and does this to me.

"This was about courage, Dee." Ryo whispers stroking my sides. It tickles and is nice at the same time and I draw in a sharp breath. Courage? I don't know what this is supposed to be and so I sit up, finally taking an active part in this as well. But before I answer I cannot resist but kiss him again. His hands wander to my back where he massages his way up and down.

"Courage?" I ask, my voice hoarse. I don't wanna talk now, I need him and he wants me. The handsome man sitting in my lap pulls my shirt over my head. Okay, so I guess talking isn't on his mind either.

"I was drawn to you since the first moment I saw you. But I was so afraid, this was new for me and I didn't want to face the facts…", Ryo says while his fingers are busy mapping my whole body. I lay back my head, this is so amazing. "This was so stupid of me. I'm a cop, a detective, a sharpshooter. We have dealt with the most dangerous murderers and I'm afraid to let you love me… Stupid, stupid, Ryo." The man chides himself and all I can do is stare again.

"From the beginning?" I whisper and bite back a deep moan that emerges from my chest when I feel his hands going lower, so they lie on my hips. Ryo gives me another one of his stunning smiles.

"You should have known… If I wasn't interested I would've told you. I've told Rose a thousand times to leave me alone." He's right and this is exactly what I had built my hopes upon. And my dreams have come true. I cannot hold back any longer, I grad his collar and pull him towards me, crush our lips together in a hard kiss and when I feel him response my heart fills with joy. I will never let him go. He's mine from this moment on. With trembling fingers I release his shirt and pull it over his head, hugging him close. We both moan loudly. I knew it would feel incredibly nice to feel his skin on mine but this sensation nearly drives me insane.

"I love you." I whisper between two kisses. I want to tell him this over and over, I want to mark him as my possession, I want the whole world to know that Ryo Maclaine belongs to me. And he seems so sure about all this, he doesn't show any doubts. This thrills me to no end and with a sudden flash of clarity I look up again. "You sure about this?" I ask breathless. When he wants to reclaim my lips I escape and wait for an answer.

"Yes, Dee… I made my decision so long ago and was just too frightened of…I don't even know, please, Dee. Don't stop." He whispers urgently and I realize he just as excited as I am. Stopping was never my intention but hurting him even less. That's all I need to know and I bring us into a standing position. The sofa is nice and soft but the bed will be so much better. First Ryo seems disappointed that I get up before he gets my intention. I press him up against the wall next to the door to my bedroom, pressing our bodies together. Holy Mother of God, I've never felt so much desire in my entire life, Ryo is more than I can take.

I let my hips rock against his and he hisses when our lower bodies meet. He's as excited as I'm, he wants more, like me. But I let Ryo set the pace of this so that he will not shrink back from me like so many times before. He has stopped my efforts so often when it grew more serious between us. With trembling hands he tries to open my belt buckle and after a few failed attemps he succeeds, his long and slender fingers finding their way into the waistband of my pants.

Oh Gods. I spin us towards the bedroom but this time he pins me against the doorframe and kisses me. So hard and needy that I have to concentrate again to not come instantly. This is better than I had hoped. Ryo had seemed to be the shy and hesitating part in bed but he just overwhelms me right now.

Finally we make it to the bed our clothes torn from our bodies somewhere on the way and when he lies down, pulling me with him I admire his gorgeous body. I cannot stop myself when I see him like this and after another mind-blowing kiss I kiss my way down his chest, take my time, slowly, teasingly licking his sensitive nipples until he is panting hard, his hips thrusting upwards, seeking tension. I let my lips trail towards his wonderfully shaped abdomen. His skin tastes like summer, like sunshine and so much like him. I want to weep with happiness when I let my tongue flash out and he moans.

Okay, that's it, I can't stand it any longer. With teasing flicks of my tongue I cirle his throbbing member, making him squirm underneath my mouth. When I crawl up over his body and kiss him hungrily he spreads his legs and offers himself to me. I whisper small words, nonsense, close to his ear, I kiss him and he closes his eyes.

Good God, it feels so good, I'm not able to hold myself back, I moan and press myself deeper into his body, slowly, carefully, I don't want to hurt seems okay, he lies completely still, his hands grabbing my shoulders, pressing me closer to his incredible body. I do not move at first so that he can get used to the feeling of sleeping with a man. And it is Ryo who thrusts his hips up, catching me off guard. „Gods... Ryo..." I whisper before I engulf his lips in a sweet kiss.

He responds eagerly, kisses me back. When our lips part his head falls back against the pillow, his eyes half closed, just like his lips. He pants heavily and I'm happy that he enjoys what I do to him. Being so close to him, feel his skin on mine is all I ever wanted. I bury my head at his shoulder so that he can hug me close to him and he does. He is as close to the end as I am and a few more gentle thrusts and he shivers wildly. So sexy that I try to get closer to him, I bury myself closer in his warm body and when he comes I follow soon after. He holds his breath, closes his eyes tightly and gives such a sweet moan that I feel myself coming, too.

Exhausted, happy, tired, rejoicing and contend I let my head rest between his neck and shoulder inhaling his scent while his fingers gently stroke my hair. I don't realize I'm crying untill I have to hold back a sob. „Dee?" He says in a small whisper. „Something wrong with you?"

„No, Ryo, no. I'm just the happiest person in this world. Love you."
„Love you, too"

FIN

…...

Ooops, maybe this was just an excuse to write a sappy, fluffy, M-rated story.

I hope you like it nevertheless?
Please let me know!

Reviews are loved!