"Oh, this must be the room..." Shrek said to himself as he brushed some debris off his shoulders and entered the "sleeping" princess' quarters. He saw the fragile feminine form in the fragile dress on the fragile bed in the castle, and his eyes began to water. No I must get my swamp back, he thought. But this is the chance of a lifetime, he argued back. This was getting heated. Finally he decided to turn the sleeping girl into a human ATM machine that only accepted cash deposits... FROM HIS DICK.
Meanwhile, Fiona was getting impatient. She could feel someone standing over her. What's taking this guy so long? He'd better grow a pair of balls or I AM NOT going to be very happy. What will I suck? She would not entertain such a horrific opened her eyes and found the enormous green barber's pole looming in front of her face, slowly inching towards her. And for the first time in her unfulfilled life, she became wet. Ecstatic, she reassured herself. This is the moment I've been training for.
But Shrek was having problems. Even an OGRE can tell whether his dick's gonna fit in something or not, and adult male Ogres were NEVER supposed to copulate with smaller-than-average teenage girls who spend most of their time locked up in castles. This will never work, the rational half (or whatever you'd call it) of his brain urged. That was beforethe princess distended her jaw like a snake, effectively fitting her mouth around his peter like a peter-glove.
"Oh. Okay. Cool." Shrek said as he realized that his troubles were over... for the moment. He slowly began to relax. He was (understandably) tired; he'd just escaped almost certain death by dragon only moments ago. He wanted to fall asleep, as he usually did whilst receiving blow-jobs, but Princess Fiona wasn't the only one about to have her life changed forever...
"OOoooOH! AAAAAAAH! UUUNNnnUnnHh! SLIRP! MMmmmmmmmmmmMm!" Eehhehheh.