Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

So yeah, I thought I'd try a story were Derek suddenly becomes a single father.

Dead?

How can a mere four letter word cause so much distress. You see it in the news and read about it in the papers, yet when it happens to someone you know, when death happens to someone you love, time seems to stop, and you're stuck in that moment forever.

Dead?

How can she be dead? How can she be dead and I never had the chance to say good-bye, to say that I love her? How can god just take her from the world, from me?

It's been five years since I've seen her, since I've held her in my arms and whispered 'I love you' into her ear as we both lied in bed.

Christina called me yesterday. Of all the people I thought I might have heard from, Christina was defiantly not on the top of the list, and when I heard her voice I knew, I knew something was wrong.

"Derek."

That was all she said, and I knew. I just knew something terrible had happened to her.

"Please don't tell me what I think you're going to tell me." I pleaded with her. If she didn't say it out loud then it couldn't be true.

"She's dead, Derek. I just thought you should know."

And she hung up.

Damn, she said it. She's dead, Meredith's dead. Why, I don't know. How, I don't know. When, I don't know. I know she's dead, that's all I know.

I told Addison last night that I had to go to Seattle for a while. She didn't seem happy at the mention of Seattle, but she asked me why. So I told her, I told her Meredith was dead.

I expected her to be angry with me because even after her death, I still desperately loved her, my Meredith.

But she wasn't angry. She said she was sorry that Meredith was dead. And then she apologized for taking me from her. Addison cried, Addison doesn't cry. She said she was sorry that I didn't get to spend the time with Meredith that I should have. And then she booked my flight back to Seattle.

That's how I ended up in front of her house, in my car, sobbing.

'Deep breaths, deep breaths.' I tell myself.

Her front door opened and Izzy walks out. She walks to my car and climbs into the passenger seat.

"I'm sorry." She says.

I say it back.

"I'm sorry, too."

Then I ask the questions, I have to ask.

"How, why, when?"

"A few months ago she was hit by a drunk driver. She suffered several head injuries, nothing serious though and she was supposed to make a full recovery. But something showed up on the CT scans. A tumor. A big tumor. A huge tumor, two of them. She was given at the most a year to live. She didn't quite make it that long."

She's crying now.

"Why didn't anyone call me?" I need to know.

"We all suggested that she call you, but she said no. She didn't know how you would react, and she didn't want you running back here only to lose her so soon. She didn't want you to see her so sick. She did want us to call you after, after…"

She didn't say it, she didn't finish her sentence. And then we drifted into silence. And that's how we stayed, for fifteen minutes, in silence.

"You should come in now. There's someone you should to meet."

I don't understand how she expects me to go make friends when the love of my life has just died. But I follow her inside anyway.

Once inside I can see that everyone is already there. Christina and Burke, The Chief, Bailey, Karev, O'Mally, Dr. Torres, even Finn and a few young children. And there's one little girl sitting on the couch, looking at the floor.

I remember, I thought she looked like a small version of Meredith. And then George spoke.

"Dr. Shepard, meet Allison Grey-Shepard, your daughter."

I looked back at the girl and I immediately saw the resemblances between myself and her. The eyes, the chin, and the mouth, all me. But mostly, mostly I see Meredith.

But Meredith is gone, and she left me with the greatest gift she could have given me, our daughter.

Our daughter, we have a daughter, and Meredith isn't here, we can't be a family.

I have a daughter, and she's hurting. I have a daughter, and it's me and her now.

I walk over to her and kneel down and look her in the eyes.

"Allison?" I ask, although I already know who she is.

"Are you my daddy?"

I nod, and she asks me another question.

"Can you do me a favor, daddy?"

Again I nod.

"Can you find mommy for me and bring her back?"

It's such a simple request, bring mommy home, but I can't, I can't bring mommy home.

"Allison, look at me."

She does.

"I can't bring mommy home. I know you miss her and love her. I miss her and I love her too. But no matter what anyone does mommy can't come back. She's with the angels now, watching us. It's me and you now, sweetie, me and you."

She looks down again, and I see the tears in her eyes.

"Mommy isn't coming home?"

"No sweetie, mommy isn't coming home."

"Are you going to leave?"

"No baby girl, I'm never going to leave again. It's me and you now."

"Me and you, daddy?"

"Me and you."

She finally holds her arms out to me and I lift her up and hug her as we both cry. It's me and her now. I have to take care of her, protect her, and raise her. I am responsible for another life.

I only wish Meredith were here.

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Yeah, so this chapter is kinda boring, I know, but the next chapter will be in the future and will show Derek as a single father raising his daughter without Mer.