Disclaimer

I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the sole property of Masashi Kishimoto.

Characters will be out of character and the timeline is definitely off.

The New Base

Pein's POV

Why had I taken these idiots to a park to hold a meeting?

Right, because we didn't have a base.

"Attention," I say quietly, daring a glance up at the imbeciles I had to take control over.

Why on earth did they have to be here? More importantly, why couldn't I kill them all?

Hidan was off sacrificing a virgin, chanting about his stupid religion again. Some religion. All he was good for was not dying. Unfortunately.

Kakuzu was robbing yet another defenseless woman. Surprisingly, he hadn't robbed a bank. Yet. Maybe he had and I just didn't know about it yet.

Tobi was harassing a little girl, begging her to play with him. Lovely. The parents of the child hadn't noticed that either yet, thankfully. Angry parents weren't needed right now on top of all of the commotion.

Zetsu was doing what I assumed was his form of photosynthesis. In other words, he was off chewing on a leg he had brought with him from home.

Deidara was being his typical self, terrorizing other small children and blowing up the toys they placed on.

Sasori was making puppets out of wood, chiseling away at their features until he was satisfied and placed in on the ground to start a new one. Currently, he had made ten.

Kisame was prodding at fish in the pond just to the right of the sacrificing Hidan was doing. He looked like he was about to start crying until some blood from Hidan's sacrifice splattered onto the fish he had claimed was his new "child".

Itachi was quietly reading, propped against the tree and peering over his book occasionally at me, seeming impatient.

Konan, lovely Konan, was at my side, making her origami. As per usual, she ignored the other members in favor of staring at me.

"Pein, maybe you should-," Konan began, but was interrupted by a blonde screaming.

"I am not a girl, un! Back off!"

Yet again, some unfortunate guy had mistaken Deidara for a girl. I told him he should cut his hair.

In anger, Deidara sauntered over to the group.

"Excuse me, are you the... are you in charge of these people?" a woman asked, tapping my shoulder.

I sighed. "Yes. Why?"

"Your little masked man made my daughter cry. Control your people or leave."

"I'll get him. Tobi, get back here, now!"

Tobi whined. "Leader-sama, Tobi wants to play with the girl!"

"Now, Tobi," I sighed.

The lady, exasperated, walked off, thankfully.

"You hurt my child!" Kisame screeched, charging at a bloody Hidan.

Hidan took a swing at Kisame. I shook my head, ignoring it. Why should I care? They were constantly causing problems.

Kakuzu, however, was annoyed. "Shut up. Do you know you're running people off? I can't steal from people when you two are screaming so much!"

I took that as my chance. "Everyone, get here now. I have some things I need to discuss with you all."

"Like?" Sasori inquired, his usually calm demeanor growing just as impatient as I was.

"We have purchased a new base."

Kakuzu glared. "How much did it cost?"

I sighed. "Give your weapons to Konan first."

His eyebrows furrowed together, but he reluctantly stood and handed his weapons to Konan. "How much?"

"$105,000."

Kakuzu gaped, his jaw hanging open and his eyes wide in disbelief and shock. "One hundred... one hundred and five thousand dollars?!" he repeated, his voice shrill.

"Thank Tobi and Deidara. Had they just taken their disputes outside instead of ruining the base, we wouldn't have this problem."

Almost instantly, Kakuzu's hands were around Deidara's throat.

"Get off of me, yeah," Deidara growled, his voice threatening.

"Settle down. Deidara won't blow the base up again, we can hope."

"What does it look like?" Konan asked, changing the subject.

"Large. We will, however, have to share rooms."

"Who shares with who?" Hidan and Deidara yelled simultaneously.

"I'll tell you when we get to the base."

They groaned in unison before glaring at each other and ending their protests.

"Shall we go?" Itachi asked.

I nodded, standing, and heading towards the new base.