Title: Letter's He Wrote.
Rating: K+.
Genre: Family.
Pairing: Elle & Robert Greenaway.
Summary: When Elle misses her father, she reads the letters he once wrote her to make her feel close to him.
Authors Note: Earlier this week, I had watched "The Fisher King Part 1 & 2", where I had learned of Elle's father's passing, for the very first time. Before I was born, and when I was little, my dad wrote me letters like you're about to read. For some reason, I pictured Elle's father doing something like this too.
Dedicated: This story is dedicated to my dad, on his birthday. I love you so much, and I do not know what I would do without you. Thank you for always protecting me, and for giving me everything that I could ever need. I thank God for you every day, for I don't know what I would do without you.
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.
Better to write for yourself and have no public than to write for the public and have no self." –Cyril Connolly.
9 & ½ Weeks.
Dear Peanut Greenaway,
Two weeks ago, I found out that I was going to be a father. Your mother is almost 10 weeks pregnant, and I can't believe than in less than 7 months, I am going to have a little boy of girl to call my own. No matter what, I am going to love you very much. The doctor told me that right now you are around the size of a peanut, and this nickname stuck. I hope you don't mind, but Peanut is going to be your nick name, so you better get used to it now. I love you more and more each day.
Love, Daddy
22 Weeks.
Dear Peanut,
In less than 5 months, you are going to be in my arms. I cannot wait to have a son or daughter to hold you close to me. Right now, I am looking for a job with better hours. As soon as you are born, I want to spend every possible moment with you, and being a part of your life. You are loved so very much, and you aren't even born yet.
Love, Daddy
31 Weeks.
Dear Noah or Elle,
In the past few weeks, your mother and I finally agreed on what we would call you, when you were born. Your mother wants a little boy, and I want a little girl but all we both really want is a healthy child. In almost two months, I am going to be a father. It hasn't quite hit me that it is going to be so soon. Last week, I was offered the position of a New York City police department. Without hesitation, I said yes. I start my new position right after you're born, on January 1st 1971. With this job, I am able to give you everything that you ever wanted, and more. I will be getting the bad guys off the street, and making the world a safer place for you to live in.
Love, Daddy.
1 Day Old.
Dear Elle,
At 11:23AM on November 30th 1970, you came into my life. I cried when I found out that God had given your mother and I a beautiful baby girl. You have my eyes, and my smile, with your mother's complexion. You are beautiful in every single way possible. I love you more than I ever thought I would be able to love another human being. Your mommy and daddy love you very much, along with your Greenaway grandparents and your Cruz grandparents. You aren't even twenty-four hours old, and I know that you are going to be so very spoiled, but you will also be loved very much. Always remember, I loved you first.
Love, Daddy.
One Year Old.
My Dearest Elle,
You are one year old today. Right now, you're probably eating the sweet potato pie that your Aunt Cora has made you, while Daddy is writing this letter at work. I wish that I could be with you and mommy right now, but someone called out of work, and daddy had to be his partner. I promise to be there for every single one of you birthdays though. The only reason my heart is not breaking into a million pieces is because I don't think you will be able to remember your very first birthday. But if you darling; I'm so very sorry.
Love, Daddy.
Two Years Old.
My Favorite Daughter,
Today, you are two years old and you are running around the house. You are talking a mile per minute in English, and your mommy is trying to teach you Spanish. I feel very spoiled for the first word you ever said was 'Da-da', I swear that my heart was going to explode with happiness. You are the light in my life, and you always know how to make me smile. In a hour or so, Mommy is going to give you a special present that we bought you last week. I know you asked for a pony, but Mommy and I couldn't get you one of those this year. I hope you like the doggie that we got you instead. I love you lots, and happy birthday sweetie.
Love, Daddy.
Three Years Old.
My Darling Elle,
You are three years old. You know exactly how to show me three fingers, you constantly are telling strangers how old you are and carrying around the Minnie Doll that I got you when I was working outside of F.A.O Schwartz last Christmas Eve. Your Mommy is teaching you how to speak two languages, English and Spanish. You are going on the potty, just like big girls go, you know how to count to ten in English and Spanish. You are wiser than your years, Elle. Not a day goes by that you don't seize to amaze me.
Love, Daddy.
Four Years Old.
My Smart Elle,
Two months ago, you started going to pre-school at the elementary school down the road. Just last week, you told your classmates that you want to be just like me when you grow up. I couldn't find anyone better to be just like her Daddy. For your birthday this year Mommy and I got you a bike. Please be careful riding your bike with the training wheels on it, and in a couple years I will teach you how to ride it without the training wheels on it. Please love, stay off of the streets, and be please don't talk to strangers. There are too many bad people in this world, and Mommy and Daddy can't always be there to protect you. But, when we are there, please know that you are safe, and very loved.
Love, Daddy.
Five Years Old.
My Sweet Elle,
Last month, you gave me and Mommy quite the scare. You took medicine, because you thought it was candy. You weren't supposed to take this kind of medicine, and you could have been really hurt. Mommy and Daddy would not be able to live with the thought of losing you, so please promise us that you'll never, ever, ever do that again. We love you Elle, and we're not mad at you.
Love, Daddy.
Six Years Old.
My Beautiful Elle,
Yesterday, you asked me and Mommy why we named you Elle. We named you Elle, because both Mommy and I liked the way it sounded with our last name: Greenaway. Elle was a name that could make girls, boys and teachers smile when they saw it. Your mom had always wanted to have a girl named Elle, and I knew that after you were born and I saw your face, that Elle was the perfect name for you. When you get older, people will see the name your mother and I gave you, and they will feel safe because they will know that you are taking care of them, and keeping them safe. And that, is more than I ever could ask for.
Love, Daddy.
Seven Years Old.
My Most Precious Gift,
Today, is Thanksgiving. And, it is only ironic that it is also your Birthday. This year, and every single year, I am thankful for a daughter like you. You make me and Mommy proud, you give me a reason to wake up every morning, and you are the first thought I think of when I go to sleep. Without you, my life would have an empty gap, that only a child like you could fill. You are everything that I could ever ask for, and I hope you know that we love you so much.
Love, Daddy
Eight Years Old.
My Darling,
I love you more than words can express. In the past eight years, I have seen you grow up from an infant, to a toddler, to a child that is very much like her mother and I. I love how you want to be so much like me, and how much you love your mother. Two nights ago, you had a scary nightmare… and it reminded me of when I was a child. I know things may be scary, my peanut but what you dreamed about was not true. I am not going to let anything bad happen to you. I know you are still young, and that you're still afraid of the boogeyman, and the monsters in your closet. But, know that they cannot hurt you. I love you so very much, always remember that. And please, Peanut… try not to grow up so fast.
Love, Daddy.
On The Day That He Died…
New Years Eve; 1979
My Beautiful Daughter,
My eyes are welled up with tears as I write this letter to you. You are so very young and you are not old enough to know why I am upset though, my darling. Right now, there is a situation going on at work, and I am afraid that my life may be in danger. As your teacher Mrs. Reynolds told your class that there were 10 police officers killed this month, 7 of them from my team. As you can see, I have a reason to be worried, but I don't want to give into complete fear.
If something happens to me, I don't want you to be sad, that your Daddy is gone. I want you to take care of Mommy for me, and know that I am looking down on you from Heaven. I wish I didn't even have to tell you this way, but I don't want you to find out on the news if something does happen to your Daddy. I love you so very much. Please, know that I would do anything to keep you safe, and that is why I joined the NYPD.
Always remember the good times, and that we shared. Remember me as I was, not as I was when you and Mommy buried me. I love you, my peanut. Always remember, I loved you first.
Love, Daddy.
25 years later, 2005
Dear Daddy,
I can't believe that you have been gone for 25 years. Every single day, I think of you. But, I also think of our last conversation. I was only eight years old, and for some reason I told you that I hated you. That bothers me, because what I should have said was I love you, or to have a safe day at work… not that I hated you. I wish I could turn back the clock, but I can't.
When I was four years old, my heart made up its mind, and I decided that I wanted to be like you in every single way. I remember telling people in class that I wanted to work for NYPD, and keep the good people safe, and protect them from the bad people. But, I do something a little different now. I now Special Agent Greenaway. I can handle a Glock 19, and I know how to use it. Even though I'm only 33 years old, I have been through so much. From my experience, and with my dedication to this job, I am capable of so much. I specialize is sexual crimes with the FBI with 'Uncle' Gideon. He got me a job after I finished college with the Behavioral Analysis Unit, where I work with people I trust and love. Speaking of Gideon, he misses you Daddy, and he constantly tells me that when the job got busy, you were the man that he wanted on the other side of the radio.
Mommy misses you. In case you were wondering, she never got married again. Shortly after your death, Grandpa Cruz got an pneumonia, and he never got out of the hospital. Grandma Cruz then moved in with Mommy and me, and it was just the three of us until I got the job in Quantico Virginia, and had to move out of the house you raised me in. It was bittersweet when I left, for I knew you would be so happy of me, but I didn't want to leave the house that built me.
I'm also not married. I've gotten two proposals from long term relationships, but I don't think I'm ready to settle down just yet. With what I do for a living, my life is not glamorous, and I've only had the time to go out on 3 dates in the past 9 months. But, I'm okay with that, for I'm more interested in making a difference, than getting married. When, and if the right man comes around… please give me a sign.
Whenever I have a bad case, I read the letters you have wrote me so long ago. The pages aren't folder from constant reading, for I know the words by heart, and mom had them made into a book when I got the job with the BAU. After so many years, I feel as if you are in a better place. Instead of protecting the streets of Brooklyn, you are protecting the streets of Heaven. Don't wait up for me, for I have a lot to take care of on Earth until I'm ready to see you again.
Love, Elle.
PS- You may have loved me first, but I loved you last.
"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." -Abraham Lincoln.