Poisonous
I let it fall, my heart
And as it fell, you rose to claim it
It was dark and I was over
Until you kissed my lips and you saved me
When they told him the truth, that he was worthless, nothing but an annoyance they sent away to die, there was nothing left in him, not even pain. The latest device he had been so eager to show his Tallests slipped from his hands. It might as well have been his heart.
Then he came. Not with insults or hatred, but with something else, something much more tender and foreign to Zim. He took Zim's now empty hand and stepped close, closer than he had ever dared to be before. His warmth, his hand on Zim's cheek, warmed Zim's frozen, numbed flesh; his soft, gentle mouth gave Zim something else-it gave him life. It gave him hope. It gave him a home.
My hands, they're strong
But my knees were far too weak
To stand in your arms
Without falling to your feet
Zim continued to invent, to plan, to create, but he never strayed too far from Dib's side, never went long without eliciting some sort of sign of affection from him-a smile, a hug, a kiss. Anything to show that he was still cared for. Anything to reassure him that he wasn't worthless and unwanted, like the Tallests said. Dib never hesitated to give him what he wanted, nor to let him linger there, in the comforting circle of his arms, for as long as he wanted, whenever he wanted.
But there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things, you'd say, they were never true, never true
And the games, you play, you would always win, always win
There were others. Zim knew that. There had to be, to keep up Dib's facade of normalcy, so crucial to his job as Membrane Lab's leading scientist. No one would ever take him seriously again if they knew he was fucking the very person he swore was an alien all those years ago. Dib's words, not Zim's. But Dib swore, as he held Zim's softly crying face at night, that he didn't care about any of them, that his interactions with them went only as far as one night. That Zim was the only onewho mattered to him.
And Zim believed him, until he overheard Dib and his 'guest' one night. Softly spoken words, sighs and moans, noises Zim thought only he could bring out of Dib, words he thought were only for his antennae to hear.
He ran, but there was no corner of the house where he couldn't hear them, whether physically or in his mind. So he burst out the doors, fleeing into the night.
But I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Let it burn while I cry
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name
It was raining. Zim continued to run anyway, to jerk his newly made laser pistol out of his PAK and shoot wildly at the scalding drops, to burn the rain as it burned him, as Dib had burned him, as the Tallests had burned him...
"Zim. Zim." The gun was pulled gently from his fingers and tossed away. He was pulled into familiar warmth, a soft jacket moving to shield him from the burning rain. He clung to the human as he sobbed helplessly, hating him, hating himself for needing him so much. Dib held him, stroking his head, his antennae, whispering apologies, endearments, promises that it would stop, no matter what the world thought.
Zim listened, knowing that Dib had won again. But deep inside of him, something stirred, something that hadn't stirred inside of him for a very long time...
Distantly, a male voice called out for Dib, but Dib didn't move, just continued to hold Zim and shield him with his jacket. Zim raised his head, cupping the human's cheek, kissing hard, claiming him once more as the sound of a car roaring off into the night reached them.
When laying with you
I could stay there, close my eyes
Feel you here, forever
You and me together, nothing is better...
Later, they lay tangled together in their bed. Zim's eyes were closed as he hugged the warm body beside him, his head pillowed on the human's chest, just like it had been their first time, when Dib was a teenager. Zim wished it could stay this way forever, no morning to bother them, no other partners to get between them, no rain to harm them. But deep inside of him, that thing stirred, and he knew that was impossible.
Dib's arms tightened on him. "See, Zim? You and me here together. Nothing is better. Just like that song says."
'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things, you'd say they were never true, never true
And the games you'd play, you would alway win, always win
That morning, Zim woke before Dib and padded down to his hidden lab, almost in a daze. During the night, the thing had grown, and it prodded Zim to create, to create in a way he had not done since he and Dib were enemies and constantly at each other's throats...
After witnessing so many lies, from Dib, and from his Tallests, it became ridiculously easy to lie about what he was really doing down in his lab over the following days. To lie to Dib's smiling, affectionate, unsuspecting face about the plans that were forming right along with it.
It became a game, to smile, to cling to Dib's affectionate embrace like he used to, to make love with one face, to scheme, to plot, to create with the other. A game he was determined to win.
But I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Let it burn while I cried,
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name
In the end, it was ridiculously easy. No one had suspected, not even Dib, not till the end, when the envirodestroyer had already been in place and functioning. Zim bared his jagged teeth in a vicious parody of a smile, watching the world below burn as he stroked his unconscious Dib's face.
They screamed out his name, in the end, begging Membrane junior to save them, pathetic pleas that went unheard by everyone except for the former Irken Invader, the very engineer of their destruction.
Who was the worthless one now, Tallest?
Who was the helpless one now, Dib?
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Where I felt somthin' die, 'cause I knew that
That was the last time, the last time...
When Dib woke up, he was beyond horrfied. "What have you done, Zim?"
"What I should have done years ago. Destroyed all the worthless hyuuman life on this stupid mudball of a planet."
He might have been able to convince Dib to accept it, to stay with him, if it had not been for the tiny, trembling voice that came onto the loudspeaker. "Uncle? Uncle Dib? Please help us! Mommy's dying, Grandpa's disappeared, and the air-I can't breathe! Help me!"
Dib froze. Then in a flurry of movement, he was up and running, heading for the transporter. "Dib! Don't! You can't survive out there-!"
Before Zim could stop him, he was in the transporter. But then he was turning around, grabbing Zim's face and kissing him hard. Then he pulled back, twirling Zim's antenna in the almost painfully pleasurable way he knew the alien loved.
"I always loved you, Zim. Through everything, even this, I loved you. Please, remember that. Remember me."
"Dib-" One last soft, tender kiss, a painful echo of their first, all those years ago in Zim's old lab, and then he was gone, gone to join his niece, his sister, and the rest of his race in the inferno below.
Gone. Dead. No longer in this world. No longer within reach for a touch, a kiss, s smile...
Zim retrieved his old gun and glared out the window, down at the dying world below, the world that had taken everything from him, even his Dib. He put the muzzle of the gun to the side of his head, and growled the words:
Let it burn, oh
Let it burn
Let it burn...
A/N: O.o This is easily the most depressing thing I've ever written. Usually I hate depressing. Yet...WHY DO I LIKE THIS SO MUCH? I don't knooooow! I like my Zadr to have happy gooey endings...Argh. Off to write something happy...