AN: Well, my friend loves supernatural, and she was asking for story ideas. And I brought this idea up and she said I should write about it. It's a total parody and I don't own any of it.

DISCLAIMER! I don't own Supernatural, nor anything in this story... Aside from the herpes monster.

Rated M For use of the 'f' word, and nudity from Castiel. xD

Sam and Dean were pulling up at an open bar, tired of their ghost hunting. They had some 'sex on the beach' and 'tequila', getting s drunk as they possibly could.

"Ohhhhhhh... SAMMMMYYYYY! I LURVES YOOOOOUUU!" Dean Howled, holding onto his brother's shoulder tightly. Sam went cross eyed, and hit his head on the bar table.

"OH DEANY DEANY WEEENYY! I LOVE YOU MORE!" He replied, looking at the person beside them and eating their fries.

"You know, you're a really pretty lady..." Sam complimented the guy beside him. He looked like he was about 55 years old. Raising one of his bushy grey eyebrows, he smacked Sam in the face.

"Here, I'll show you how it's done..." Dean said, limping out of his bar stool, standing in front of the man. He puckered his lips and leaned in to kiss the old man, and in returned, the geezer gave his a good, hard punch in the face and kicked him hard in the crotch.

"Get outta here!" He yelled, before storming out of the bar.

Castiel then 'Proofed' into the bar.

"Stop getting so shit faced", He muttered.

"Oh Fuck, Castiel... Or should I say, Cassie... Is that you? You're so sexy", Dean drooled. Castiel rolled his eyes.

"And you're shit-faced, no come on, before the-", Castiel was interrupted when they heard a huge roar come from a fat, wart covered monster. It was... The Herpes Monster. It ripped out a chunk of the bar, mostly the roof. Sam started crying when someone's dead arm hit him in the face.

"BRO, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ONN!" Dean yelled, running out of the bar with Castiel and Sam, who was still bawling like a baby.

"It's The Herpes Monster! It's been chasing me for the part hour and I can't seem to get away from it!" Castiel yelled over the roar of the monster. It started chasing him, Castiel taking off his trench-coat so he could run faster. Eventually, Castiel stripped down so her was running stark naked.

"EWWWW! CAS, you may look like your 30... But your Wang sure doesn't! It's like a melted candle stick!" Sam yelled, still crying. Castiel stopped running to zap Sam, and then zap the herpes monster.

The monster went running away, crying.

"There. Now Sam, nor the herpes monster, will poop for a week", He said, "Now... to find where my clothing went...", Castiel said, running around, looking for his clothing while the two drunk men were napping on the grass.

AN: Hope you enjoyed this FAIL of a story! Was for you Maddycakes! 3