Chapter 1

Friday at Noon

Clare's Point of View.

He just left me there after a quick goodbye. What did that mean? Had I done something? Was he mad at me? I don't think I did anything. I think I know who to ask.

Adam.

I find the boy talking to Anya of all people. Wonder what is going on there. Too bad I don't have time to find out.

"Adam!"

He turns around and looks at me. I see a flash of terror before he puts on a smile.

That was random and fake. WHAT THE WORLD?

"Oh, hi there Clare. Didn't expect to see you around." He waves bye to Anya, who just nods back.

"Well I don't know where Alli is and Eli just ditched me. Sometimes I don't know where those two are but they aren't with me. It's nerve-wrecking."

"Really?" he says, his eyes widening in shock. Once again I can't shake the feeling that he is faking it.

"Yeah. Like today I was expecting to eat lunch with Eli but after a while he said that he had to go talk to Mr. Betenkamp."

"Oh, OK. Then don't worry I know he would want to hang out with you. He was saying something about needing extra credit."

"If you says so. Hey Adam, why were you talking to Anya?" I say, finally satisfied enough to indulge my curious side.

"Bit of gossip. We were talking about the spring fling. Are you ready?"

"You know it. Spill!"

Alli's Point of View.

"So do you think Clare suspects anything?" I ask.

"I doubt it. She already thinks I'm weird. Clare probably thinks I'm just being me." Eli says bitterly.

"Hey dude stop. You're back together aren't you? And aren't you the one planning this big event for your anniversary?"

"Yeah. I guess she'll have to finally trust me again after this. And it is all because of you, Alli. Thanks."

He sweeps me into a hug. Now that we are closer this isn't the least bit awkward.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?" I hear my best friend say.

Eli lets go of me and turns around.

"Clare! I-" he starts but she interrupts before he can explain.

"No forget it. You lied to me Eli. And I doubt this is the first time since we got back together. All the times you've left without an explanation. You were ditching me to rendezvous with my BEST friend." She says, aiming the end at both me and Eli.

"Clare! Alli say something."

"Don't bother. I'm leaving. Have fun!" Clare says slamming the door shut.

I sink down into the closest seat and put my head on the desk in front of me. I can feel his eyes on me but I don't care.

"Alli. Alli!"

"What?" I say as my head flies up.

"Why didn't you say anything to Clare? To explain what she had seen."

"Because I know that when she is that pissed you can't tell her anything. The truth would have seem made up and there was nothing else. There is nothing we can do about it now so we just need to remain focused on these plans."

"Fine." Eli says, begrudgingly. Something tells me he isn't going to listen.

Adam's Point of View.

"Adam!"

"Yeah, what's up?" I ask the Indian girl running towards me in my deepest voice.

"I think Clare and Eli are going to back up again."

"What?" I ask, much higher than I talked before. That feels more natural. But focus, that is not the most important thing.

"Yeah she walked in on me and Eli."

"Again what? I thought you guys were planning a surprised how did that turn into love?" Don't tell me you hit on him. Love Alli but sometimes she flirts subconsciously.

"No it was nothing like that. I'm sorry I choose to word that wrong. She walked in on us planning but misinterpreted it."

"Oh, OK. That's better. Why are you telling me this though?"

"Well I thought that you would want to know what was happening with your best friends. And I was kinda hoping that you would watch him and make sure that he doesn't ruin it for himself. Even though I am still positive he's a psycho-killer Clare loves him. Please!" She says, opening her eyes even wider.

Dang that even affects girls. Which I am.

"Nice way to put it. Okay, then. I'll babysit him. Any idea where Clare is?"

"I think she left the school. Eli has affected her more than either of them know. I'm guessing she went to The Dot. We should let her be."

"Hey bro. Hi Alli." Drew says.

Alli waves exaggeratedly and rolls her eyes before walking away.

"I guess she still hasn't forgiven you."

"She's a cool girl but I'll live if she doesn't forgive me. By the way, bro, you're a little high there. You want to tell everyone your newly discovered secret?"

Stop referring to that already!

"My voice isn't that high." I say, lowering it a little.

"Now it isn't." Drew says, laughing and putting his arm around my shoulders.

He starts leading me somewhere before I even notice that we are walking.

"Where are we going, Drew? And is it just me or does this lunch break feel really long?"

"You must really be out of it, sis. We don't have fifth today. I thought that we could hang out." He says as we sit on the stairs.

Just finish the name change, will you?

"That's nice of you. But where's Bianca?" I ask, innocently.

"You know, Grace, I wish she didn't always come up. It's hard to be with when you don't care." Drew says, hugging me tighter.

"Oh, whatever. It's not like you are seriously with me. Wait, did you just say that we don't have fifth?"

"Yeah I did. Why?"

"I have to go. Since Eli, Clare and I have study hall today both of them have no reason not to leave school. I have to keep him from doing something stupid."

Drew just pouts a little.

"Come on. We weren't going to make out at school. My circle of friends already had a discovery today. It might have been fake but still. I'm not chancing it."

"Of course not." He says still pouting.

"See you at home." I say giving him a kiss on the cheek. I hope he understands what this is.

"Yeah, later." He says with a wide smile.

Weird, I think as the door closes. I really don't know how I feel. I just want someone to be with. I'm not trying to lead him on. Okay well that may be what I'm doing, but he does has a girlfriend. I am not about to be the other girl then boy then back to girl.

Clare's Point of View.

I walk into the dot.

"Little Edwards," Peter says in way of greeting.

"Hi Peter." I say sitting down.

"So can I get you something?"

"Yeah can I have a latte?"

"You may. Be right back."

I get out my notebook and flip to my Eli story. I don't want to rip it out yet because I've never liked getting rid of things because of a break up. I just stare and stare at it.

"Are you okay there?" Since he asked does that mean I'm being way to obvious. FOCUS! I look up.

"I'm fine Peter, thanks. That was quick."

"Yeah it is pretty calm in here during school hours. Wait, school hours? What are you doing here and not, well, there?"

"I just had to get out of there."

"Got you. I won't tell anyone." Peter says, smiling and leaving.

Why did I think I could trust him? He has probably been seeing her this entire time they had been weird. Which started the day after we got back together. They had to start cheating as soon as possible, didn't they? What jerks. This isn't at all like the first time. KC didn't act on his feelings. It had hurt but nothing like this.

Great ELI just walked in. Why did he come looking for me?

Adam's Point of View

Where is he? And Clare too. I look all over for them. Which left me searching their favorite spots. AND I still couldn't find them!

Dude! The Dot. Its seems like I would have gone their first I mean we only hang at like 4 places.

I walk towards it and see Clare at the counter. Okay so there's one. Oh, no. I found Eli and he is just staring at her. I run the rest of the way.

"Hey Eli."

He turns to me with sad green eyes. I hate not being with him. It's hard I wish there was something I could do

"So you heard?"

"Yeah, Alli told me. Dude, you can't just sit here staring at her."

"Why not? If I can't have her all I have left is to look and remember what I love about her."

"She's just going to get madder at some point."

"But that's not the point!" he says, slightly louder.

"I thought her happiness was the only thing to you."

"Well that's true. Talk to her and I'll eat burger that I've ordered. Only then can we go."

"Fine if those are your terms but we are leaving the minute you finish."

I walk over to Clare.

"Hi Adam." Clare says in a dazed matter.

"Uh, hey Clare. How have you been since third period."

Clare looks past me at Eli and then back at me.

"How do you think?" She snaps.

That was very un-Clare.

"Well, yeah. But Clare listen you can't take everything for face value."

"I know but it was rather convincing. If you had seen them they looked so happy."

"What were they doing?" I ask confused. If all they did was look happy it doesn't sound like a cheating scene at all. Can't they hang out alone?

"They were hugging." She looks down as if she knows her reason is complete crap.

Friends hug Clare. Didn't you want them to become friends?"

"Yeah I did. It's just that Alli is so cool. I grew up in my sister's shadow and at times I feel like I'm in Alli's."

"Clare for my sake and your own realize your awesomeness. You just think you're in her shadow when no one else sees it that way." Even though I was so confused I still remember why I used to be so in love with her. I really am indecisive. Well if my change my mind again at least I know she's available. That might be mean.

"Whatever. I don't know what to do."

"Well talk to me when you need to. I'm going to go try to get Eli out of here."

"Thanks for both. It's been getting awkward."

"No problem. Bye." I hug her.

"Bye."

Even though Clare doesn't know that I finally found myself and I am a girl, I doubt she will be surprised. We act like girlfriends already so even if I stayed a guy I would have never gotten out of the friend zone..

"I came as soon as I could." I hear K.C.? say.

"What the heck?" I hear Eli mutter.

KC's Point of View.

When I walked in I say that weird kid talking to Clare. I think his name is Adam or Gracie or something. Jenna says he is always staring at Drew but I haven't noticed. I don't know why she tells me crap like I think its obvious I could care less also it is his brother or sister thing so it seems kinda moot.

"I came as soon as I could." I say sitting down next to Clare.

"K.C.! I'm sorry I wasn't thinking when I text you. What about the baby and Jenna?"

"Well, glad to see your still as panicky as ever. The baby is taking a nap as well as the mother. As much as I don't like hearing that you are upset I'm glad to be out of the house. I thought that 2-3 weeks off school was a good thing until I couldn't go anywhere."

"I could see that. Have you guys decided on a name yet?"

"No. And now it is getting stressful because we only have three more days until we have to go to the doctor's again and tell them one. Each time we agree someone will add another name and we have to decide again."

"Too bad. See this is why I shouldn't have text you. You have an actually problem and I'm calling you up with this."

"Clare I just want to be here for you. By the way what is wrong?" I finally ask.

Her smile falls and she takes a sip of her latte.

"I found Alli and Eli together. I didn't know a cliche could hurt this much. The best friend and the boyfriend."

"Alli was helping him cheat?" I ask shocked.

"See and that is one of the problems. I'm shocked by Alli but not by Eli. Why can't I trust my boyfriend." She leans into my chest and takes timed breaths.

This is nice. I forgot how nice her hair smelled. SHUT UP! She's about to cry and you feel good?

"And this is the second time your friend and boyfriend cheated." I say without thinking.

She pulls back and just stares at me with hurt eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes are hurt. And now I'm the one pushing her to the verge of tears.

"I'm sorry Clare I wasn't thinking. And I'll be forever sorry about that whole period." And the fact that we are not together.

"It's OK. Thanks for comforting me."

I kiss her on the cheek.

Eli's Point of View

"Let's go." I hiss.

"Eli?" Adam asks, as we get up.

Once we are in the hearse I respond.

"Did you not see that? He freaking kissed her."

"No way! In the middle of the Dot? Which is gossip central."

"I don't know if he did it because he wanted to or just to piss me off." I say gunning it.

"Eli, no offense, but I doubt you are that high on his priority list. He has a fiance to think about pissing off."

"Well yeah but—wait fiance?" I ask, confused.

"Yeah, he proposed the night of the dance when the baby was born."

"Oh well then I'll talk to Jenna about how to get our revenge." I smile evilly.

I don't know why but cheating on your fiance just seems worse than cheating on your girlfriend.

"Um, Eli you're scaring me a little and we have reached my house."

"Oh, right sorry."

"Do you want to come in?"

"Sure thanks."

"Welcome. Let's go."

He opens the door and walks to his house. I follow him my thoughts lost on revenge.

"Hey sis." I hear through my thoughts. Who is Drew calling sis and how badly will Adam hurt him?

"Drew," Adam says as he stops his brother's arm midair, "I invited Eli over, bro."

I see Drew's eyes move from Adam to me. He looks startled to see me and a little horrified. But that is quickly replaced by momentarily disgust that changes to a smile.

Weird.

"Oh, hey Eli. I didn't see you there. Well if you guys want anything I'll be in my room." He says, looking back at Adam before he leaves.

"Bye." I call after him.

Adam just stares at the stairs before jumping and looking at me.

"My room then?"

"Yeah let's go."

We walk up the stairs. You know I hate stairs even when you're really not trying to you just end up staring at the butt of the person in front of you. Which I find myself doing now. Stop! That is a really nice butt- Is that gay to think? I mean is it my fault he has a girl's butt. I wonder if he is going to get surger- There are more important things at hand.

Adam opens his door. We sit on the bed and he turns on the TV. There is silence between us while we just watch until I can't take it.

"So you know what I think Jenna and I should do?"

"Eli!"

I look at him ready to just continue but because he is sitting so close I can see his eyes. And they are beautiful. They aren't like Clare's blue. Adam's have a touch of green and are darker. Stop thinking that about your best friend who is FTM!

"What's up?" I ask calmly.

"If I tell you a secret? Will it distract you and make you stop talking about this?"

I contemplate it quickly.

"Yeah it will. And I won't talk about for the rest of the day."

Adam's Point of View.

WHY? Why did I just tell him that?

"Um, well I figured something out."

"You what now?" Eli just repeats.

"I figured something out after the whole Fiona thing. I'm a tomboy."

"OK and?"

This is so frustrating for some reason.

"Meaning I have a girl classification. When I was with Fi it didn't feel right. I felt like I was playing a role. I realized it was because I feel more like a girl who has more in common with guys."

"So.. you're.. not FTM?" he asks, after a pause.

Thank you!

"Exactly."

"Well why didn't you just say so?"

"I don't know I wanted to explain it that way. Sue me."

"Maybe I will. Why do you still go to school as Adam?"

"I only just received the girl's uniform and certain habits just stick. I wanted someone's opinion of how I look in it."

"I can tell you that." Is it wishful thinking on my part or was he just a bit too eager.

"Really. Thanks. Then I'm going to change into it."

"Okay," Eli says picking up a comic.

Drew's Point of View

I walk into my bathroom to see Grace in a tank top.

"Why?" I ask gesturing to her clothes.

"I-I, uh.."

"Wait did you tell Eli?"

"Yeah I did. He was annoying me with revenge talk so I wanted to distract him." She says pulling on the Degrassi shirt.

"But know that you told it you can't just take it back, you know?"

"Yeah I know, Drew. It will be fine. He is after all my best friend."

"And a guy!"

"Next time knock before opening the door." Grace says walking past me.

"Sorry." I bit back.

She looks at me and rolls her eyes.

"No I really am sorry. You were changing and I just walked in. That was rude. Though I did like what I saw." I say trying to sound smooth. Now I just need to count down to the reply. 3.. 2..

"Nice one but save it for your girlfriend not your, whatever you call us."

Ouch. I call us happy but I guess she doesn't. Why do I keep doing this? Oh, right I really like her. Even if she doesn't have a clue I still have to show it. Since we make out does that mean she is just using me for my body. Normally I would be flattered but in this case...

"Sure but can I just ask what you are doing in that anyway?"

"Oh I'm modeling it for Eli."

But not for me when we got it yesterday. Now that really hurts.

"Can I watch this fashion show? I want to see his reaction."

"Sure go in my room first. I'll be a moment."

I walk into Grace's room and can't bring myself to look at Eli.

"So seeing another side of Adam today, are we?" I have to force myself not to say Grace.

"Wait you know?" He asks me.

"I'm her step-brother of course I know." Not to mention I was the one who helped her figure out she liked guys. But I'm guessing she wouldn't tell HIM that.

"I'm coming in." Grace calls.

"Finally," Eli jokes.

When she walks in I look at Eli. His eyes go wide and his mouth drops. Come on, I know she is beautiful but don't be so obvious. Especially around me.

"So what do you guys think? Does it suit me?" She asks, her eyes trained on Eli.

"Yeah, you look great." He replies.

"I think you look awesome in both uniforms." Except leave out the binding always leave out the binding, I add mentally.

"Thanks guys." Grace says walking over to her mirror.

"You know I hadn't realized how much your hair had grown out." Eli says as he walks over to her, taking in her new look.

"Well I was wearing a hat bu-"

"I've got to go." I say, saving myself and leave.

"OK, call us for dinner." Grace smiles at me but it doesn't really help.

"It's funny to see you look like a girl. I mean you look great but it's just trippy." I hear Eli says as I walk into my room. I close my door in a hope to block them out. Too bad the walls are thin and against me.

"Thanks." I can even hear her happiness.

"You're welcome."

"Eli!" She giggles- shouts. I would go in but she doesn't sound upset and I don't want to see her happy with HIM.

"What? You are really beautiful, you know?"

"Thanks again."

"Again, you are welcome."

"I have another secret." Grace sounds hesitant.

"What is that?"

"I kinda love you."

WHAT? I just heard that, didn't I? Crap. Now I'm sure I REALLY like her.

"I'm honestly not sure if I love you but I really like you too."

Then I hear nothing. Silence. I'm thinking that means they are kissing. Yeah, I'll be home when my mom calls me, I think as I leave my room.