I shouldn't have to say this, but this is a joke fic. Please do not take this seriously, thanks.

It was 2 am. Karkat was about to shut off his computer and head to bed, when a familiar "ding" and a yellow flashing light appeared on his taskbar. He clicked on it.

AG: Hey, Kaaaaaaaarkitty, open your window!

CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I LISTEN TO YOU? KNOWING YOUR TYPICAL HABITS YOU MIGHT BE WAITING TO SHOOT AN ARROW THROUGH MY HEAD.

AG: Awwwwwwww, why would I try something like that! You're 8rain is to small to hit anyways. ::::)

CG: ONLY BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SEE OR AIM FOR SHIT WITH ONE EYE.

AG: Just open the gogdamned wind8w, fucknugget.

Karkat sighed and got up. He peered out his window with it still shut, incase there was any impending doom. What he saw instead made his jaw drop. He opened the window immediately. Before Karkat fully registered what just exactly what was going on outside of his house, he thought back on all of the idiotic things his best friend John had ever done. John had dropped a water balloon off of the school roof onto Karkat's head on the first day of school. John had thought it a good idea to moon the superintendent on his last day of school. He'd also thought it be a good idea to constantly harass and poke fun at Karkat every miserable day they had been friends. However, this topped them all.

John stood on a small platform built onto the back of Vriska's bright blue jeep. He was decked out in a 80's hair metal type of get-up (not that Karkat actually knew what that was). He was clad in tight, pink leather skinny jeans and a green tiger striped sequin vest that showed off his stomach muscles. He also wore, wait- was that a WIG? Yes, in fact, John was wearing a frizzy wig that hung all the way down past his bum! Karkat could not even begin to fathom the sight before his eyes.

John nodded towards Vriska, who giggled and pushed a few buttons. It seemed that showing up in that ridiculous outfit at two in the morning wasn't enough to completely and utterly humiliate Karkat infront of his neighbors. No, they had to decorate the entire stage with christmas lights, too. He then saw John pull out a guitar and prepare a mic.

"JOHN, NO YOU GOGDAMNED MORON IT IS TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING YOU'LL WAKE UP THE ENTIRE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD. HEY ASSWIPE, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!" Karkat's face was already completely flushed from the yelling, however it had just enough room to darken as John winked at him. Karkat smacked his face in his hands, furious.

"This one's for you, Karkitty! Yee-ow!" The decible level was way over the permitted level for that time in the morning, that was for sure. 'John, you are such a fucking retarded babyfaced moron I can't even stand it,' Karkat thought to himself. As John started strumming the first notes to "How Can I Live Without You" by Leann Rimes Karkat was busy slamming his head repeatedly into the nearest wall. He also noticed the houses around him flicking their lights on one by one. His closest neighbor was already outside, staring half in disbelief and half in repulsion from John's ghastly taste in clothing.

As John continued strumming and singing his heart out to the most PATHETIC SONG OF ALL TIME FOR THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD, Karkat saw the hordes of people starting to come out of their homes, many of them no doubt on their phones calling the police. Sure enough, just as John's pathetic excuse of a song ended sirens could be heard off in the distance.

"Call me Karkitty. Giddy-up, cowgirl!" John shouted into the mic, grabbing the guitar and mic stand and jumping into the front seat as Vriska skidded off into the night. The entire neighborhood went silent. Karkat blushed even deeper, and slowly closed his window, trying not to draw attention to himself, thanking whatever gog was out there that at least none of his other friends had seen that obnoxious scene. The cops showed up a minute later.

He walked over to his computer and ignored all of the other messages on his computer, and went straight to trolling John.

EG: so, what did you think?

CG: DEAR JOHN

CG: FALL OFF A FUCKING BRIDGE

EG: :B