Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or anything relating to them, I'm just borrowing them to satisfy my stupid brain. Any references to real life events; anything I may have read, seen or heard are completely unintentional and coincidental. I gain nothing from this other than to finally get this idea to stop repeating in my head. So please don't sue me or threaten to kill me.
A\N: I have no idea what I'm doing. This all started from a strange dream (I gotta stop falling asleep with the TV on...it's seriously messing with my dreams) that decided to stick in my head and not leave me alone. I've never written a story before, let alone ever posted anything online; this isn't my area of expertise, so any mistakes are completely mine. I'm not even sure what possessed me to post this, it's actually kinda scary...even if nobody ever sees this...I still can't believe I'm doing this. I'm actually a diehard GSR fan, but my brain decided this is what it wanted to write....so here I am. Anyway, if this offends you in any way or it just plain sucks, I apologize that you've wasted several minutes of your life you'll never get back. Just pretend you never saw this and know for future reference to avoid it at all costs and go on with your life.
They say that tragedy can bring a family closer; they don't tell you that's not the rule, but the exception.
You would think in my line of work that I would know by now how fragile life is. That your seemly perfect existence that has taken you years to establish can be ripped away from you any given second without a moment's notice. You'd think that I would have realized after all these years of seeing people on what is probably the worst day of their lives, usually through no fault of their own, that statistically speaking one of these days my number would be up as well. After all, with life there has to be death; or so the saying goes. Yet, despite this all, here I stand paralyzed with fear and anguish, wondering how this could have happened to me and the ones I hold dear.
Sometimes with the help of hindsight being 20/20 you can experience a near miss of an almost disaster, only for the situation to resolve itself without any damage done and a lesson well learned. But that feeling of absolute panic when your heart stops for a few seconds before kicking back into high gear literally pounding so loud u can hear it and your body tingles from finger tips to toes shaking u where u stand, you can't help but let it change the way you look at life and those you love; at least for a few weeks anyway, until the memory of the paralyzing fear fades to a distant nuisance. But sometimes that pattern can change. Sometimes life doesn't resolve itself into one nice, neat little package. Sometimes you find yourself dumbstruck realizing that now your life will never be the same again and there is no going back this time. There is no second chance.
It's not that my life has been a picture perfect existence with a large white picket fence and all the trimmings, devoid of any hardship or suffering. I know fear and pain, they helped shape me into the person I am today. I'm not going to stand here and give you the cookie cutter response that suffering has made me a stronger person; I think that overcoming trials and tribulations has made me a more sensitive, empathic person; I had to mature quickly at a young age. But these last few years in Vegas have been wonderful. Despite our rocky, tense introduction, Catherine and I have developed a strong friendship that has recently developed into much more. I can honestly say I have never been more happy in my life. I moved in with Cath and Linds and have been given the family I never had growing up. It is beyond words. Linds has accepted me with open arms and even has started calling me her second mother. But I should have known it wouldn't last. I guess some people are just not meant to have a family.