Hi peoples! Okay, so this is an angsty lil oneshot that I've been working on for the theme "You Are Mistaken" in the forum "fully combustive material for the fanfic author". It's mostly based on the anime but there are a couple things from the manga for maximum angst. It's a teensy bit dark, but not horrid. I'm a little cruel to Roy, but I think it works out…so, ya. No yaoi. Enjoy :)
O.O.O.O.O
In the office of one Colonel Mustang, a very large and loud altercation was taking place. Small fights that were just for fun took place very often, but this one was different. There were no playful jabs, no silly insults. This, my friends, was a full-fledged war.
"Shut up, you complete bastard! Stop trying to act like you understand! You have no clue!" A blond haired boy steamed, eyes blazing with hate and teeth grinding against each other.
The Elric brothers had returned from a mission near a town that was hiding a stone from the rest of the world for years. Finding out about it, the boys had immediately rushed over to the little town, ready to pry the stone from anyone's hands. But when they got there, they found that there was a cruel, sadistic alchemist using it to wreak havoc. By the time they had caught him a day later, the man had used all the power in the stone and it disintegrated before their eyes. Ed's chance of fixing his sins slipping away put him in a disclosed mood where he lashed out at anyone who made him angry in the slightest.
Finally getting sick of the teen's attitude, Roy Mustang shot up from his chair. All he had done was try to comfort the boy by saying how he understood what it was like to feel practically alone and that it does get better. "What makes you think that I don't understand? Huh? Do you truly think that everything I've done to help you on your journey was a waste? Do you truly think I've never suffered? Do you truly think that I'm a cold, heartless bastard like you're so fond of saying?" He hissed, onyx eyes narrowed to slits.
"Yes! Because that's exactly what you act like! All you do in life is sit behind that godforsaken desk with a stupid smirk that never leaves your face! Even when you were a kid you were probably a spoiled brat, always loved by your parents and showered with gifts! You don't know what it's like to practically lose all your family!" Ed screamed back, hands clenched in fists.
The Colonel's grip slackened, his body falling into his cushioned chair. His eyes were wide and glazed over for a moment, but then he slid back into an impenetrable mask. When he spoke, it was deathly calm and hardly above a whisper. "Get out."
"What?" Ed said, teeth still barred.
"Get out of my office."
"Why?"
"Just leave."
"Why should I?" The 14-year old hissed, eyes slits.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" Roy screamed, losing his calm exterior once more.
Hearing that, Ed stomped towards the doorway, pausing in the doorframe of the now open door to look back. "Bastard," he spit out before leaving, not pausing to look at the horror-stricken subordinates that stared at him.
Hawkeye stood up from her desk, glancing around the room with an uncomfortable look. Her hands were shaking as she cautiously entered Colonel Mustang's inner office. When she looked at the man behind the large desk, his head was lowered into his hands, which were busy slightly massaging his temple. "Um, sir?" she said.
"Why?" The Colonel said; face flying up from his palms. His eyes had a haunted look flouncing over them and his hair was in total disarray. "Why does he think I'm such a monster? Why does he think that I have no heart? Why can't he just accept that I do know what he's going through?"
Hawkeye stayed quiet for this, knowing that the man just had to get it out of his system. But after a couple seconds of them just staring at each other, she made a move to break the silence, voice as collected as normal. "Maybe you should take the rest of today off, sir. I'll tell everyone that you felt ill."
"Fine. Thank you," he said, standing up to leave. While exiting he didn't give the rest of his unit a glance.
O.O.O.O.O
After exiting the building, Ed didn't go straight back to the hotel, instead settling for a walk to calm his nerves so he didn't lash out at his brother. Ignoring the strange looks he was getting for his odd choice of style, he began to dive into his mind.
'Why did he get all mad? We've fought tons of times before, but he has never sworn at me. What was so different about today? It wasn't my fault. He was the one acting like he really cares and understands,' He thought, not noticing he had walked into the park. As he kept thinking he didn't even noticed that he had walked straight into someone.
Annoyed at being interrupted, he said quite rudely, "Hey! Watch where you're…Hughes?"
"Ed? Hey, what are you doing here? I didn't know you like to go to the park!" The man said, a grin taking over his face.
"I don't. I'm just walking around," Ed deadpanned, face still cross.
"What has you so sullen? Get in a fight with Al or something?" The cheerful man asked, a curious look on his face.
"Not Al. Mustang," he spat out the last word like it was trash.
"Roy? What did he say that made you so mad?"
"He was acting like he understood the trials that me and Al have to go through every single day. And then he started screaming at me when I mentioned what his parents were probably like."
Understanding dawned on the Lieutenant Colonel's features. "Oooooh. Come with me, kiddo. Let's get a bite to eat. Just let me tell Gracia."
"What? Why?"
"How bout this. You come with me to a restaurant and I'll tell you all about the mysterious history of Roy Mustang."
"Fine."
After telling Gracia and Elysia, Hughes took Ed to his car. The ride to the restaurant was silent, which was odd since Hughes was the most talkative person Ed knew. It made the golden eyed boy wonder what was so important that it could make the Colonel yell at him and make Hughes shut up.
Entering the restaurant, the duo grabbed a booth, sitting on opposite benches facing each other. The waitress gave them some water, leaving the two in silence for a while.
Getting a little sick of the quiet, Ed piped up, "Well? Are you gonna tell me about his past?"
The black haired man took a deep breath and then spoke up. "Okay, I'll tell you. But just so you know, he never really wanted to talk about the finer points of his early childhood. I only know the main points of it. Though I think that will be enough to get the point across. You see, Roy didn't have the best childhood. Parts of it were actually a little similar to yours, actually, but others are entirely different. Well, when Roy was five years old his mother died of an unknown sickness, like yours did. But when that happened, his dad entirely changed. He had always been on the edge, but her death made Roy's father totally lose control. And he took it all out on your Colonel…"
~"Please stop! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" The five year old Roy Mustang called out. But nothing stopped. The black leather belt rose above the older man's head again, heading for the young boy.
"It's your fault! It's your entire fault that your mother's dead! You weren't smart enough to help her! All you did was sit by her bedside and do nothing! You could have helped her! You could have saved her!" His father yelled out at the boy sending the belt crashing into the younger's bare chest. "You're just a worthless piece of trash!"
"OW! I'm sorry! Please stop! Pl-"This time young Roy was cut off by a fist hitting his face. He spit blood out, then almost silently murmured, "…I'm sorry."~
Ed's eyes were the size of tennis balls. 'The Colonel was abused as a child? Why didn't he say so? I feel like a jerk now…' he thought.
Hughes then continued on. "Roy lived like that for four more years, until he was nine. Someone then finally caught on. I'm not really sure what happened to his father, all I know was that he was taken to his dad's sister, who was much kinder. But Madame Christmas lived above the bar that she ran, so Roy wasn't exactly the most popular kid at school. At that age he hardly talked to anyone and kept to himself. The women that went to the bar were always really nice to him, but he didn't have any real friends his own age. Madame Christmas was also kind, but she never babied him or anything."
~Nine year old Roy was sitting at one of the stools of the bar after closing hours, silently sipping at a glass of water and nibbling on his sandwich.
"Roy?" A rough sounding woman's voice called out from upstairs. "Can you please wipe the tables?'
"Yes ma'am," he said back, just loud enough for her to hear. He went into the back and grabbed a clean rag. He shuffled to each of the tables in turn and slowly wiped them. Outside the windows he saw some of the people from his school.
"Ha!" One of the boys called out. "Look at that weirdo, Roy. He's cleaning tables at a bar! Don't get too close to him, or you might end up a freak, like him!"
Hearing the jeers, Roy turned away from the window, not wanting them to see the lone tear that fell down his face.~
"I can't believe he lived at bar. I mean, of all places, a bar?" Ed said, eyebrows raised.
"Yeah. He spent about six years there, until he turned fifteen. He wanted to study alchemy, and he had finally found a teacher that would accept him. He never really told me what happened there, all I know was that his teacher was Master Hawkeye and he was studying constantly."
"Hawkeye? As in Lieutenant Hawkeye?" Ed asked, an incredulous look over his face.
"Yup. Roy and she didn't get along great at first, but they eventually became friends," Hughes said whilst nodding. "He didn't learn flame alchemy during that time either, just the fundamentals and other things of that sort that I don't care to understand. After staying there and being taught for a few years, he took off to the military academy. We met up there, and at first we were at each other's necks, but we eventually became friends." A thoughtful look fell upon the man as he told about some fond memories.
~Two black-haired young men were kneeling upon the grey cement of the shooting range, caps keeping their hair out of the way. The shorter one turned towards the other, taking of his earmuffs. The other followed suit.
"You know what, Maes. I really like the military. Because in here it doesn't matter where you come from or who your family is, in here we're all equals working for the same purpose, to defend our country. It doesn't make a difference if you're from a wealthy family in Central or a backwater town out east. Here we're all lowly cadets in training," the younger man, Roy, said.
"Wow, Roy. Didn't know you could be so deep," Hughes said with a small smirk. After getting an irritated "Well," in response, a small smile went on the bespectacled man's face. "But now that you mention it, that's true. I'm friends with both really rich people here and others who weren't so lucky," At this Roy looked down a little, "but no one cares. We're all friends and we don't bother judging people because of their past, or else we wouldn't be able to move forward."
"Hear, hear!" Roy responded with a ghost of a smile. ~
"So was that the place where he learned to cover his face with his impenetrable mask?" Ed asked, eyebrows scrunched together in thought.
"Yeah, I guess you could say that," Hughes said with a smile.
"Hmm," Ed remarked with a small nod. "So what happened next?"
"Well, he went back to his teacher's house after training. From what I know the man died in Roy's arms coughing up blood. Roy arranged his funeral, and I know that sometime then he got the secret of flame alchemy stuff from Hawkeye. I'm not sure what it was or where, but he got it. Maybe it was in the will or something," Hughes responded.
"Sheesh, that must've been harsh. Where did he go afterwards?" Ed questioned.
A haunted look that seemed so out of place on Hughes' face came. "He got certified as a State Alchemist, and then came Ishval. Roy was so different during the war. He totally despised himself for what he did. During that time he often stayed up during the nights just to reflect on what he did. He really hated himself. The look on his face when he came back to the base every day, it was horrible. Like seeing a dead man. He never smiled, and his eyes were totally haunted and filled with loathing for himself. When he saw that Hawkeye was there killing too it was even worse. He was nothing like he is now, not bothering to take care of himself a lot."
Ed's eyes were open all the way and mouth in a disbelieving "O". "It impacted him that much? But he acts like he's invincible all the time. I would never have believed that he had his own inner demons. I mean, I knew that Ishval was bad, but I didn't think that he actually hated himself that much for it."
"He still has nightmares about it. But it gets worse. In the middle of the war, he got the most terrible orders. To shoot two Amestrian doctors that were helping cure Ishvalans. Their name was Rockbell." Hughes said darkly.
"Rockbell! He's the one who killed Winry's parents!" Ed flew out of his seat, hands clenched in fists like the only thing he wanted to do was punch the Colonel unconscious.
"Look, before you run out to knock Roy senseless, (which he may let you do if he knew the reason behind it), listen. He had orders, which he couldn't say not to. He hated himself so much that he tried to…well, just listen to the story."
~ The twenty three year old held out his gun towards the couple, hands shaking wildly. The blond pair was holding each other in their arms, picture of a young girl in their hands.
"I'm so sorry…I'm sorry…I don't wanna do this…It was my orders, I'm so, so, so sorry!" The dark haired young man said as he pointed the gun towards the blond man's head. They didn't say anything to him, they just kept whispering about how much they loved each other.
BANG! The gun shot and the blond fell, bullet lodged in between his eyes. Roy wailed and then shot his next bullet towards the woman, wanting to stop. When she fell out, Roy staggered backwards towards the closest chair and fell into it, holding the side as if it was his lifeline as tears streamed down his face. His commanding officer came in and said how he did a good job as some others picked up the bodies and cleaned up. Roy didn't respond, he just stood up and walked out of the makeshift hospital like a zombie, tears still falling.
Later that day he came back to the place, he didn't know why, he just felt like he needed to. But that seemed to be a bad choice, since as soon as he saw the black mark on the floor where the couple was earlier, he cried out again and wrenched out his gun, holding it in his mouth with trembling hands as tears streamed down. But he couldn't shoot, even though he kept thinking he was a coward, and he deserved to die, unlike the Rockbells. But then someone came in, and told him to stop. ~
"He never told me who came and stopped him. It took me years to get this much of the story, but he never told me who," Hughes said quietly.
Ed was speechless. He didn't know what to think of that. He was sitting by this time, but he was gripping the edge of his seat now. 'How could the Colonel have almost committed suicide? He's always seemed so untouchable, sitting behind that desk with a smug smirk that makes it seem like he is almighty, superior to everyone, like he was god himself. I never would've thought that he actually had moments when he was weak.'
After a few minutes of silence, Hughes continued on straight-faced. "The war ended soon after that. We all got to go home then. But I think that was the time he felt most alone."
~ The two black-haired men got off the train, mouths drawn in straight lines. But then the taller of the two broke into a giant grin, eyes dancing with glee. "Gracia!" He cried out, dropping his luggage and running towards her with his arms wide, not noticing that he left his friend behind.
Said friend watched him run off to greet his girlfriend. He stood on the ramp for a minute, looking around to see if there was anyone waiting for him. There was no one. Not that he expected anyone, he had no family left. He dropped his shoulders and head a little and walked away, eyes filled with gloom.
Hughes looked away from his embrace to see where Roy had gone to. The onyx-eyed man had said that he had no family and Hughes was going to invite him over for a drink. But he didn't see him waiting at the train, all he saw was a man that looked totally defeated and ready to give up walking out of the station. ~
"Wait," Ed spoke up. "What about his aunt, Madame Christmas or whatever her name was? Why wasn't she there to meet him?"
"She never really was that type of person for sappy meetings. Don't get me wrong, she cared for him, but she wasn't, you know, that type of person," Hughes answered.
"Oh," Ed said simply, for lack of anything better to say.
"I really didn't see much of him after that for a while. He kinda slunk into his shell and didn't come out. The few times I did see him he had giant bags under his eyes and was a little too skinny, like he wasn't eating that much. I eventually went over to his apartment to see what was going on," at this point he took a deep breath. "Now, what I am about to tell you is probably one of his darkest secrets, but I'm telling you because I'm pretty sure I can trust you to stay quiet about it. I'm the only one other than him that knows. But I think that this is one of the most important parts that will really make you understand him. Promise not to tell anyone, not even Al?"
Ed stayed quiet for a second. 'What's this big a secret that only Hughes knows?' Ed sighed. "I promise," he said.
"Alright," Hughes said. "Here goes nothing…"
~Maes Hughes took strides down the apartment complex hallways with purpose, eyes narrowed in determination. His friend had been ignoring him and he wanted to see what was up. But he did not expect to see what he did when the door was opened. Roy was a mess. His eyes had giant bags and a shadow under them like he hadn't slept in a couple nights and his hair was totally messed up. He was even more pale than usual, showing he hasn't been outside for a while. He was skinny to the point where it was unhealthy. In summary, he looked plain disgusting!
"Hey, Maes, come on in. I wanna show you something," Roy said, though his voice was slightly slurred.
Hughes walked in and took a look around with a look of disgust on his face. The place was a total mess! It looked worse than Roy did, and that's saying something. There was dust everywhere, clothes on the ground, books strewn all over, and papers covering about every foot of available space. Hughes walked forward a little and picked up on of the papers. On the top was a title scrawled "HUMAN TRANSMUTATION". The rest was coded.
"I can bring back the Rockbells. I can give that little girl her parents back," A voice behind him said. He turned around, paper crinkling in his strong grip and saw Roy standing there with a grin. He looked like an insane mad scientist! Hughes walked over to the man, dropping the paper. He then lifted his fisted hand and slugged Roy in the face.
"What are you doing?" Hughes cried out as Roy staggered back a little from the blow. "No one's ever survived that! Look at yourself! You're a wreck! You're killing yourself as you follow this fool's dream!"
Roy shook his head a little, and then stared at Hughes, his eyes suddenly clear. He widened his black eyes, realizing what he had been doing. Then he spoke up in a clearer tone. "I just wanted to bring them back, to make up for what I did."
Hughes grabbed him by the shoulders tightly and shook him hard. "Wake up, Roy! Remember when we were in the academy with your youthful ideals! Where's that Roy I knew? He wanted to help the country from the inside as a pillar of strength! Even during the war you had dreams! You said that you wanted to aim for the top to make sure something like Ishval didn't happen again and protect everyone under you! Where'd that Roy go? Because you sure aren't him!"
Roy fell into his couch, head in his palms. "What was I doing?"
Hughes calmed down a little and sat next to him. "Look, give this up and start taking care of yourself. You can't atone for any sins in this sorry state."
The onyx-eyed man sat up straight and narrowed his eyes in determination. "I'll stop with this nonsense and move forward. I will become Fuhrer to make sure that I and everyone else is never in the position to have to follow ludicrous orders like I did. Will you help me?" He turned towards Hughes with a piercing gaze.
The other man smiled a little. "You don't even need to ask."
As Hughes walked out the door he got a small smirk and thought to himself, 'Welcome back, Roy.'
"Well, "Hughes said, stretching his arms. "That's his story. He's had a lot of things happen to him in his life."
"No kidding. I would've never guessed he went through all that shit," Ed said, scratching the back of his neck.
"I bet you want to know where you fit into his life, am I right?" Hughes asked with a smile and raised eyebrow.
"Well, now that you mention it, I wouldn't mind knowing that."
"I know that he really does care for you and Al. He's always pulling the strings so that you two can stay relatively safe. He's really not in this all for just a promotion, either. He does want what's best for you. See, ever since you joined his team he's had lots of attempts on his life. A lot of those people see him as a danger to them, and they want you under their command so they can use you. He could've sent you off to someone else, but he knows that lots of people wouldn't keep your secret and sell you out for a promotion."
"People tried to kill him? Wow, I mean a danger to them? Really? I mean, the only way I can think of him as a danger is as a fire hazard."
Hughes chuckled at that a little. "I guess he's that too a bit, but I meant that they thought he would steal their spots somehow since he rose through the ranks so fast and still is escalating."
"Hmm," Ed mumbled thoughtfully.
"Well," Hughes said, standing up. "I hope that gives you something to think about." And with that he stood up, clapped Ed's shoulder, and left."
Ed stood up a little later, leaving money on the table as he left. Looking at his pocket watch, he saw that it was already nine o'clock. 'Crap! Al's gonna kill me!' He then ran back to the hotel, thoughts still focused on the Colonel.
O.O.O.O.O
When he fell asleep that night his dreams were far from pleasant. But they weren't his usual nightmares. He dreamed of a younger him crouched in a corner of their old house, with the Colonel raising a fist to hit him and then whipping him with the belt. He dreamed of himself holding a gun to Colonel Mustang while muttering apologies and how he was ordered to, then pulling the trigger. After pulling the trigger he started crying and put it up to his mouth. But then he heard a faint 'brother' that made him stop. He heard it again, louder. 'Brother". He then opened his eyes to see a suit of armor above him, shaking him while saying, "Brother!"
"Huh? Al? What happened? What time is it?" Ed asked groggily.
"It's ten am, brother. You were having some really bad nightmares, so I woke you up," Al responded.
"Oh, thanks. Umm, I'm gonna run to the office for a little bit. I didn't get to turn in my report yesterday."
"Okay, I'll just wait here I guess. Come back soon!" Al said as Ed threw on some clothes and braided his hair, then ran out the door.
He dashed down the stairs and out the door, wanting to get to the Eastern HQ as soon as possible. He reached it in record time, flashing his watch to the guards. He dashed up to the office, calming down and wiping his forehead before opening the door. When he went inside, he asked quickly, "Is the Colonel here?"
Hawkeye lifted her head up from her paperwork and shook it. "No, he's feeling a little ill today, so he stayed home."
'Crap!' "Can you tell me where he lives?" He asked.
"Sure, I'll give you the address." She wrote it down on a piece of paper, handing it over to the panting blond.
He yelled out, "Thanks!" before running out the door, leaving all the confused subordinates staring at the door after him.
After a minute, Havoc spoke up. "Well, that was random."
Hawkeye shook her head. "Let's just get back to work."
O.O.O.O.O
Ed looked at the slip of paper in his hand and then the number on the flat's door in front of him. He took a deep breath to steady his lungs and knocked. After a couple seconds it opened to reveal a very tired looking Roy Mustang in his pajamas. "Fullmetal?" He questioned, eyes having a flash of anger before turning back to normal. "What are you doing here? How did you know I live here?"
Ed got a little nervous facing the man that was just furious at him yesterday. "Um, Lieutenant Hawkeye told me you live here and I'm here because, well, Hughes told me some things about you…" He trailed off there.
The older man closed his eyes for a moment in irritation. "Come in, I guess." He opened the door a little wider and let Ed in. The Colonel then waked down the hall to another room, most likely his bedroom. Ed just stayed in the main room standing around awkwardly and looked around. It wasn't exactly the fanciest place he had ever seen. There was a small kitchen that was a little messy and a living room that only contained a couch. Down the hall there were two doors, most likely a bedroom and bathroom. He just stood there for a couple minutes until the onyx-eyed man came out of the bedroom fully clothed.
"Well? What are you doing here?" He interrogated.
"Um, you see, after I left yesterday I ran into Hughes at the park. I told him what happened, and then he took me to a restaurant and told me about your past, I guess…"
"Traitor," Roy mumbled. Then he motioned to the couch. "Sit down and we can talk." As Ed sat down, Roy went to the kitchen. "Have you eaten anything yet?" When Ed shook his head Roy grabbed a bagel and put it in a toaster. As it heated he grabbed a cup and put some juice in it. "Here," he said, walking over to the couch with the bagel and juice. After Ed took it the older man sat down. "So what did you want to ask me about my history?"
"Err…were you really, um, abused, I guess, as a child?" Ed asked, head facing his lap.
"Of course that has to be the first question…" Roy mumbled to himself. "Yes, Fullmetal, my father practically went insane after my mom's death, so he took it out on me with his fists, a belt, and cigarettes."
"Cigarettes?" Ed asked incredulously.
Roy sighed and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt and pulled it to the edge of his shoulder. On the front were several small circles that scarred the toned body. Ed made a disgusted face and peeled his eyes away from the unappealing scars. "That's…that's…that's horrible!" Ed yelled out. "What kind of sick bastard would do that to an innocent kid?"
"My father," Roy deadpanned. "Not all my scars are from battles, you know."
Ed scrunched up his nose at that. "I also have a couple of questions about Ishval."
Roy laid his head back against the back of the couch. "Ugh. Fine. Ask away."
Unused to seeing the Colonel act like this, Ed faltered a little. "Err…did you really kill the Rockbells?"
The man ran a hand through his black hair. "Yes. Even though I totally hated myself for it and you probably are ready to punch me in the face with your automail, they were my orders and I had to follow them."
Ed's shoulders hunched a little at that. "Oh. Um, and after that did you really, you know, try to, um…"
"Kill myself?" Roy butted in. "Yes. I really did want to. I hated myself so much and I was so guilty I wanted to end it. I didn't want to live with that over my head for the rest of my life."
"But you didn't do it," Ed said more confidently. "I'm really glad that you didn't follow through. If you didn't then I would probably still be a cripple in Resembool since no one would have come and offered me a chance to fix my mistake. And even if they did, no one would probably take the effort to pull the strings enough to let me get in."
A small smile, not smirk, came over Roy's face. "Thanks, that means a lot, kid."
"Look, I'm sorry about what I said. I was just plain irritated and didn't want to listen to what you had to say, even though you were trying to be nice. And I really didn't know about your parents, so I shouldn't have mentioned that," Ed said with a deep breath.
"And I apologize for snapping at you like that. Like you said, you didn't know about me so you didn't mean harm," Roy said, still smiling.
Feeling a little awkward with the conversation, Ed put on a smirk and said playfully, "But you're still an egotistical jerk with a god-complex."
Playing along, Roy said, "And you'll always be a short little brat to me, kid."
"WHO YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT A MOSQUITO COULD KILL THEM WITH ONE BITE?"
Roy let out a jovial laugh. "Want a ride back?" He asked.
Looking back at him, Ed said, "Sure. Thanks for the food."
"No problem, kid, let's go."
Down in the lobby, Maes Hughes watched the two from an inconspicuous spot. Seeing them walking by together contently, he let out a small smile and walked away happily.
O.O.O.O.O
Well, that turned out longer than I planned. It did make a long car ride fly by though. Hopefully I didn't make this too OOC or sap it out too far. This is the first angsty piece Ive ever written, my notebook is full of crack fics, but I kinda enjoyed writing this in a somewhat sadistic way, so if you like it I'll probably write more once in a while. Hope you enjoyed it! Please tell me what I should work on, too!
Natix
(PS: Did the last flashback bother you? I couldnt watch the show to see the exact words, but I think I got the general idea. And I knida like what I put...but if it irks anyone that bad I'll maybe change it)