-1My name is Zentash Syn'alar and I am a drow. But I am also something far worse. I am Chaos. I am other things as well, but they all pale in comparison to Chaos. After centuries of existence I decided to put my thoughts and memories to parchment. It is my hope that future mages that consider following in my steps will be better able to understand the path upon which they think to tread. What follows is a history of sorts. A literal timeline that leads from my past to the present. Read on, then, and follow my path, from the great city of Menzobarrenzan, to piracy on the seas, and from the frigid mountains of the north, to the city of Skullport. I shall endeavor to put to words that what has led me to the embrace of Chaos.
I shall start from the beginning. I was born a noble. The second boy of house Syn'alar, a house of no importance in the great city of Menzobarrenzan. My mother, Matron Zhi'Ana Syn'alar was determined to have a core of mages to help her house rise in power. So, when I was born, it was decreed that I would be the first in that line of mages. Being a lowly male, I of course had no say in the matter.
As a child, I spent my days with my wean mother, suffering under her tutelage, learning the ways of the drow, and the role of the second boy, and anything else she thought important. From my earliest days, I found myself fascinated by the priestesses of Lolth, not to mention the Spider Queen herself. I would sneak away from my duties to watch my sisters and the other priestesses perform their daily rituals. I was already a devout follower of the Dark Goddess, but I wanted….no needed to know more. When I asked my sisters, or my wean mother, I was beaten.
"Your place is to do as you are told, not to ask questions." they would tell me, assuming they deemed it necessary to tell me anything at all.
I did not let it dissuade me, however. I spent more time watching the rituals, knowing my life would be forfeit if I were ever caught. Years passed. My time was spent in training for many years. Even though I was to be attending the wizard school Sorcere, I still had to learn how to fight and kill with melee weapons. Personally, I abhor hand to hand to hand combat, but on occasion it has served me. Once, while spying on the priestesses, my elder brother, Zyran caught me. He threatened to go to our mother and expose me. We fought. I was determined by that point. I had learned so much already, but there was much more knowledge yet to be revealed to me. I had not intended for it to happen, but during our fight, Zyran died. When my mother found out, she was proud of me, She thought that I had killed Zyran to take over as eldest. I kept that information from my mother, of course. Later I learned that even at my young age, Lolth had some involvement, granting me the strength to kill him.
Time passed, and the time for my departure to Sorcere drew ever closer. I became desperate. I doubled my prayers, repeating the words that I learned from watching the priestesses. Night after night I begged the Spider Queen to hear my pleas. I had one desire, to become a cleric in her service. I knew that males were nothing, but I had to try. It was my drive. As I knelt before my makeshift altar in my quarters praying, it happened. She appeared to me. It was a sight to behold. A gorgeous apparition hovering over my altar, looking down at me. At first I thought I was feverish, seeing things. Then she spoke to me. She told me that she had a plan for me. A plan that, should it work, will herald a new beginning for her followers. I was elated! A chance to serve Lolth, to wield her powers! My dreams were about to come true. My excitement faded quickly as the priestesses stormed into my room and dragged me before my mother. Apparently, every priestess in the house, not to mention the ones at Arach Tinilth, had the same vision as I had. To say that they were not happy would have been an understatement. The fury was apparent. Their hands clenched in rage, their eyes burning with pure hatred. It was all I could do not to smile. There I was, a lowly male, about to be ushered into the inner sanctum of the females. A place no male every ventured, or if he did, he never ventured out again alive. Despite their obvious anger, they could do nothing. Soon, priestesses and acolytes from Arach Tinilth came to our gates, and demanded I be delivered to them.
I was taken to Arach-Tinilth under the cover of secrecy. I was told that under no circumstances was my particular….status to be revealed to anyone. I was kept, much like an animal, in the lowest chamber, as far away as possible from the other priestesses and students. My food, when I was lucky enough to receive food, was delivered by slaves, usually a kobold or an orc. Occasionally, a human brought me food. While the other slaves cowered in fear, this human did not. He looked me in the eye and handed me my food. He was covered in scars, beaten no doubt. We shared words occasionally, his grasp of my language nearly as poor as my ability to speak his. Over the years, my knowledge of his language and culture grew until he stopped bringing my meals, and when I asked, I was beaten. I never learned his name or saw him again as I suspect he was killed. While I did not miss his company, in talking with him, a desire was sparked within me, to someday learn more about the surface world.
My lessons were sparse, and not at all informative. Most of what I was taught in the beginning was simple spells that any acolyte of any faith would be taught. A priestess would come to my room, make me cast a spell or recite a portion of literature, then leave after beating me for some error, real or invented. Lolth, for whatever chaotic reason, reveled in having me trained. She answered my prayers, granted me the power I needed for the spells I requested, and even protected me from the other priestesses…to a point.
After two decades, my training was complete. There was no ceremony, no fanfare. I was simply informed that I had satisfactorily completed all the training. I hoped to be given the opportunity to participate in a ritual, perhaps for House Baenre, or one of the other houses of the ruling nine. I was not to get the chance, however. Upon completion at Arach-Tinilth, I was given a satchel of documents, scrolls and other communications, and pointed towards Ched Nasad, where I was to be an ambassador from Menzobarrenzan. Ched Nasad was in the beginnings of being rebuilt after the deurgar razed it with their magic and fires. I was not allowed to visit my house or see my family before I left. I was ushered out of the gates of Menzobarrenzan with two gnoll slaves as porters. The gates were closed and latched behind me. Somehow, in the back of my mind, I knew I would never be allowed back into the city again.