I started this story in June, and only finished it today. The style is funky, as I was in something of a... rut for most of the summer. Review if you'd like; tell me if I should add another chapter, which would be their reactions before death. Or, just, basically, each of their deaths and what goes through their minds. I'm still considering whether I want to do that or not. But, enjoy.
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The loss of a heart is a traumatic experience, even for those with the strongest of hearts, strongest of minds, bodies, spirits, intelligence... It's like being submerged in water too long, that your lungs begin to constrict and beat for any kind of oxygen they can consume, then the pain of finally coming up and being filled with air. Or being shot. For some, it hurts so much it's numbing, while, for others, it's a searing, white feeling of agony. Darkness seeping into your body, like red hot daggers, and that crystalline heart-shaped gem being wrenched from your body. It's astounding if anyone can withstand such a torturous process without going completely insane. Maybe that is what separates the strong from the weak, and what a non-heart being and its heartless become in its second life.
The apprentices
hadn't even the vaguest idea of the consequences of their
experimentations with hearts, and the darkness that lurked within.
They could not have even been able to hypothesize the outcome. It
started with Xehanort, the darkness consuming him, and pulling the
rest down with him into that pit of darkness with promises of
strength, knowledge, power...
"Curiosity killed the
metaphorical cat," Braig had commented some time after the
entire incident, when the six were sitting in an abandoned home on
that abandoned planet for things that weren't supposed to exist but did.
"Or 'cats'," Dilan had corrected.
The six, and the rest of the Organization to come, all reacted differently to the shock of being just an empty shell, capable of existence but banned from being capable of really existing. It was difficult to swallow, and eve harder to fathom what would come in the future.
Xehanort seemed to have the withdrawing reaction,
staying quiet and keeping to himself for most of the first year of
their lives as Nobodies. Even while the other five coped in their own
ways, he was oblivious to his surroundings, seeming to be calculating
behind the unreadable expression he constantly wore, silver hair
falling darkly into his face with his back in the corner and his
hands tucked into his lap. His brows were always furrowed, sometimes
his eyes shut as if he were sleeping, sometimes clenched closed as
the others fought; the only indication of his acknowledgment of those
around him.
At first he hardly ate(just enough to sustain
himself), then gradually ate more as time passed. The others assumed
this was him testing the limits of this new situation, as he was
always doing; a true scientist.
Braig's reaction was a little
less composed. He tried to hold it together to the best of his
abilities, partly to show Dilan up, who seemed to be taking it far
better than his older friend. This brought on much of the
fighting.
"How can you just sit there like a smug bastard and
not show how this whole mess bothers you... DOES it bother you? Maybe
you've always been a heartless bastard like that..."
"You know what I've always been like, Braig."
The other
would scowl, narrowing his eyes
"Maybe I've forgotten in the
heat of all this shit..."
This was just his way to deal with
it. It was the only way he could vent out his anger and frustration
and worry while holding onto his prideful ways; and being one of the
older Nobodies there, he felt it was partly his duty to be a sort of
"role model", though there wasn't much to look up to him
for.
There were other times, however, where he woke in a cold
sweat, two golden eyes wide in the horrible darkness, hands shaking,
and he would crawl to the nearest person and huddle next to them,
resisting the urge to cry his pain away, if only to cling to his
"pride".
Despite how he appeared on the outside,
Dilan was no better than Braig was; he was just better at hiding his
turmoil.
"I don't know how you could have forgotten about
something like that. We've only lost our hearts, not our memories,
jackass."
He didn't want to fight. He wanted to sit and try
to work out what was happening in some kind of logical way that would
make sense, figure out how to react, and oftentimes he would be seen
rubbing his temples in slow, circular motions or holding onto his
hair tightly, as if struggling to think. It didn't help when he had
Braig constantly trying to start fights with him, or Even in the
corner sobbing incoherently. Dilan wished he could have been like
Xehanort, or Ienzo perhaps, maybe even Aeleus... He wanted to have
more control over the situation like they seemed to, but he was
incapable of it, even when he had to console Braig in the dead of
night.
Even was inconsolable; even in his sleep, he would whimper softly. Aeleus spent much of his time with the blond, trying to reassure him. Often Dilan or Braig snapped at him to shut up, which he did to a degree, and not for very long. During this time, he would write compulsively, any small thing he could remember, as if he were afraid he would lose the ability to formulate thoughts, ideas, beliefs, hypotheses, equations, pi, the names of his previously favorite books, their own names, where they came from... and whose fault it was that they were in this situation...
The peace maker of the group was Aeleus, which was something that hadn't changed from their previous lives. He always did try to keep the peace, tried to compromise or find some kind of middle ground. He was the only one who really tried to help Even to cope, and he was the only one Ienzo would really talk to. Aeleus was the one to try to coax Xehanort to eat, half the time succeeding while the other half bringing the full plate over to share amongst the others. He was the only on who seemed to be more worried about everyone else than himself.
"Aeleus, why must they act so childish?"
Ienzo said late one night. Even had been asleep in his corner,
shivering, and Braig and Dilan had left to explore their new home.
Xehanort hadn't moved all day.
"They don't know what else to
do, Ienzo," Aeleus explained softly, thumbing at the frayed
edges of a newly developed hole in his pants. The smaller male was
quiet after that, leaning to his right and picking up a tattered book
from the floor by his foot. He set it down on his knees, staring at
it with intense eyes.
"I don't like it," he finally
replied, opening the book to a page and attempting to decipher the
words that didn't matter anymore. Aeleus knew there was nothing left
to say after this and continued to pick at his pants with
obsession.
Time passes like the water that falls endlessly
from the pitch-black skies on the World That Never Was. There isn't a
day that goes by that the six Nobodies have seen the light of the sun
in this desolate place. A glowing, white and yellow moon looms in the
distant sky, and not even stars are able to penetrate through the
thick black shroud of the never-ending night. A year goes by, and in
the middle of their second comes an idea. Their Xehanort has a
plan.
Vaguely remembering the past, the other five are wary to
follow him again.
"Xehanort... What if something like this
happens again?"
The darker skinned Nobody snorts.
"We've
already lost our hearts. We can't lose them again."
Braig
isn't amused by the silver-haired man's little tease, and he steps
closer, face hardened, and golden eyes narrowed in the dim light of
their too small living space.
"How can you possibly expect us
to trust you again? How can... How can you even think that we
would? Are you really so sure of yourself? So ignorant? Haven't
learned your damn lesson by now? Or are you in denial... It was your
fault."
Xehanort smirks, one that is all too familiar to the
former apprentices. Dilan frowns. Even bites his lip to resist a
whimper.
"It isn't my fault you decided to follow me. It was
a choice of your own, Braig. You all were swayed by the idea of what
lies beyond the unknown, beyond the forbidden. I only led us in the
right direction: I didn't make you walk," he pauses as he sees
the look on some of their faces, expressions of realization, "actions
don't lie, friends."
So was formulated their group: The Organization. And so were their names: Zexion, Lexaeus, Vexen, Xaldin, Xigbar, and Xemnas - their new persons.
But their goal was not easy, and it was far off. Very far. Far enough that they realized, "Six isn't enough." They needed to increase their numbers, if only to bring them closer to the point of finality.
It
starts with their first new recruit, a savage man with hair like the
blue flame of a torch, vicious yellow eyes always reflecting some
wild beast. His feral nature doesn't shimmer only in his eyes
though.
"He's a handful," Xaldin comments to Lexaeus as
they carry the unconscious beast to a finely crafted cage of the
strongest material Lexaeus could muster to summon.
"I have to
wonder if Br-- Xigbar will be alright after that attack," Five
replies quietly, placing the blue-haired man into his cage with care.
Three only shrugs and turns away from the newest member of their
organization.
"What was this guy's name again?" Lexaeus
asks as they leave the room. Xaldin pauses momentarily, pondering
this, then replies, "Saïx."
"Punch me.
Come on, just punch me, you fucking bastard. Do it, come on, just do
it."
Xaldin's glare is cold and unmoving, brows knitted
together as the scrawny red head before him stands with his head
twisted and his cheek pushed out.
"No." The smooth,
languid response hits Axel just as hard as any punch could be thrown
at him.
"Why not?! What the fuck is wrong with you? Don't
you have any balls? Dammit, just... Hit me!" Bright green eyes
are wide, quivering slightly, hands clenching tightly.
"No."
Axel
is dumbfounded.
"Why?! Why?..."
A fist collides with
his jaw, a cry escaping him, and Saïx looms over him with narrowed
eyes. Xaldin looks between them, eyes shifting carefully, as Axel
pushes himself onto his elbow off the floor, staring up at Seven.
Tears form, but he grins crookedly despite them.
"Get used to
it," Seven spits, and Axel laughs.
They are skeptical
of the third new recruit when he arrives, being led in by Xemnas. He
seems timid, and innocent, eyes focused on the floor, shifting in his
new coat and making small noises of discontent when he trips over his
own feet. His entire approach to his new situation is different from
the rest. He doesn't pick fights, or maul the hand that feeds him, or
confine himself to his room.
"Hey there. I'm Demyx, Number
Nine! I saw you when I first came, and I was wondering what your name
was?" More often then not, the hand he extends is rejected,
slapped, or spat on. His smile weakens, brows creasing slightly with
disappointment, not quite sure what to do. Then he hurries away with
his head held a little lower than it had been previously. Until he's
approached by someone new, who he finds to be far nicer than the rest
had been.
"Hey there, kid. Name's Xigbar."
Luxord
doesn't want to be bothered when he arrives. Often times he is seen
shuffling his cards, never saying a word to his fellow Nobodies. The
blond stays to himself, focusing on the 6 of clubs he's just stuck
into the deck, eying the queen of hearts at the bottom, and mixing it
in so it's a 2 of clubs, instead of that taunting red heart.
"I
wonder if he's a mute," Demyx says to Axel a week or so after
Luxord arrives, as they sit as a table at the other side of the room
from him. The redhead simply snorts at the ridiculousness of the idea
and waves it aside like an annoying bug buzzing at his ear. But this
action is stopped short by a clatter of 52 cards hitting the floor,
and a loud, somewhat hoarse, "SHITE" from their silent
blond mystery.
"Sodding cards," Luxord scowls, lowering
to the floor, not even noticing as his two superiors scurry away to
spread the news of their new member.
"I don't think
he's in his right mind," Xigbar says when he sees their newest
member. The rosy-brown haired man sits there, slumped forwards into
his lap, while the Freeshooter nudges him gently with the toe of his
boot. Xaldin gives Two a light nudge with his elbow, to get to work,
and Xigbar responds with a roll of his singular eye.
"Let's
just get this over with," the Whirlwind Lancer says in a tone that
suggests he really doesn't want to be there.
"Seriously
though, look at him. He can't even pick his head up. You
made sure he was alive, right?" Xigbar chatters to his fellow
nobody, eye wandering around the forests' treetops, and he doesn't
notice as a vine curls up around his ankle. Xaldin's gaze hasn't
left the new recruit in all the time they had been in his presence,
and as he watches the vines continue to make their way up along the
second in command's calf, he backs away considerably, though giving
no warning to his superior. The new nobody still slumped on the
ground begins to shake slightly, arms lifting and fingers weaving
tightly into his hair; he releases an earsplitting scream and Xigbar
is thrown into the air like a rag doll.
Larxene is possibly
the smuggest, rudest, sadistic nobody they have encountered, only
rivaled by Saïx, who is still the reigning champion of a bad temper,
or so say most of the Organization members.
"Name's Axel. Got
it memorized?"
"I don't give a fuck who you are; get out
of my way."
"Hey, I'm your superior, Twelve.
You'd better learn to respect me, or I'll kick your ass."
"Ha!
I'd like to see you try."
Spats like this happen regularly
when it comes to Larxene, until the rest of the Organization learn to
not even acknowledge her presence when she enters a room – it's
the best way to avoid a fight. However, one Nobody makes
"friends".
"It's a pleasure to meet you, miss Larxene.
Your beauty is unsurpassable, even to my own."
She is intrigued
by his flattery.
"My name is Marluxia. Care to be friends?"
The letters are in
disarray, the word forming something unpronounceable by the human
tongue. He stares with bright blue eyes, and the man in black gives a
slow swipe of his hand across the line of letters. They part, cluster
together, then each letter, one by one, moves into position, like a
puzzle being put into place. Even when that puzzle finishes, though,
something still seems to be missing.
Xemnas leans forwards a
little, his hand moves and pulls his hood back somewhat, and he gives
Thirteen a chilly sort of empty smile. The blonde stares.
"Welcome
to the Organization, Roxas."
