Author's Note: I had this written in my notebook for a while now. Only four short chapters so it will be all posted in one go. Hope you enjoy it and please review.

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS

One

I never thought it would be like this when I saw her again.

Sure, she is as beautiful as ever and her eyes…God! She has beautiful eyes. Sparkling eyes.

But of course nothing is how I imagined it would be.

There she is smiling…smiling so lovingly up at some guy…some guy that's not me.

Oh! She's looking this way. Did she see me? I hope not. I don't know what I'd do if she saw me.

Oh no! She did see me, she's coming over.

My heart is racing. Am I panicking? I can't be. Can I?

Oh God! She's almost here, any moment now and she'll be right in front of me.

Quick! I have to think of something to say. But what? It's been years, two years, since I last saw her.

What do you say to the woman whose heart you crushed?

Wait…I did crush her heart. Does she still hate me? Is she coming over here to tell me that?

No…she's smiling. Why is she smiling?

She's standing right in front of me now. Can she tell? Can she see my panic? My uncertainty?

"Tony!"

She sounds excited. Why is she excited? If I was in her shoes I'd be pissed at me.

She's looking at me now, expectantly. What is she expecting?

Oh shit! I've been staring at her like a moron for the pass minute.

My mouth is moving, I can feel it. Opening and closing, and opening and closing, but no words or sounds is being made.

Damn! I must look like a stupid fish.

Okay! Let's try this again. Breath Tony! Breath! Now…

"Hey Ziva."

Whew! I did it. I spoke.

She's smiling again. God! I love her smile.

I love her. I do. I really, really do.

Why did I hurt her? Oh yes! I remember. I'm a jerk…a stupid, stupid jerk.

She never deserved what I did, but maybe it was for the best. She looks happy, smiling…smiling so lovingly up at some guy that's not me.

"I intended to search you up," she say oh so sweetly with that beautiful smile still fixed on her face.

I have to fight the urge to correct her.

"Yes?" My voice sounds strange. Is that really my voice.

"Yes," she says, "I am glad that I get to see you now."

I am shocked. She can't be serious.

"Really?"

I can tell she hears the disbelief in my voice. It is hard to hide.

"Yes. I was hoping that we could get together to talk. Just to talk."

I can feel something deep inside me sink. I was a little hopeful at her words.

"Okay." I manage to squeeze out.

This would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. I can't remember the last time I was reduced to one word replies.

"I am staying at the Embasero Hotel. Can you meet me there for dinner at 07:00?"

"Yes." What else could I possibly say.

She is smiling again.

"Ok Tony. See you then." Could her voice be sweeter?

"Bye!" That came out as a squeak. So not what I intended.

She's walking away, back to that guy. Now they are walking…hand in hand…away from me.

Her voice is still ringing in my ear, even now that I can't even see her anymore.

I am hopeless.

Author's Note: Ok so I couldn't remember the name of the hotel Ziva was staying at in Kill Ari part 2 but I still wanted to use it. I think what I put is right but if not please corrct me. If it is right review me anyway .